Heres what his popularity looks like [ laughter ] Party Officials have released the ground rules for this weeks democratic primary debates, and candidates will have 60 seconds to answer questions and 30 seconds to respond to follow ups. Follow ups like, im sorry, what was your name again [ laughter ] no, no, not you, the other one who looks like you. [ laughter ] President Trump today bragged about wall street performance tweeting, quote, stock market is headed for one of our best months in the history of our country. Thank you, mr. President. [ laughter ] is he thanking himself in his own tweet . [ laughter ] thats like leaving yourself a voicemail the morning after you masturbate to say you had a good time [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause anyway, call me back. You know the number because its this number. [ laughter ] First Lady Melania Trump announced today that her directns wf l shift over and become the next White House Press secretary. It turns out you dont real
The plane hit a house in danbury. Officials say the pilot was trying to make an Emergency Landing when the glider hit the roof. The pilot was taken to the hospital along with a mom and her two kids who were home at the time. Theyre all expected to be okay. Dozens of homeowners are on alert as a 5,000acre wildfire burns in southern washington state. An entire small town has already been evacuated because of the 243 fire. Some small buildings have been destroyed but so far no homes have been damaged. The fire is burning through some steep canyons, and its direction is changing. What started the blaze is unknown. Overseas, there are new developments this morning in that deepening mystery surrounding the death of a texas couple that was on vacation in fiji. This morning, several other people who came into contact with the couple are now reportedly under observation. Heres abcs paula faris. Reporter it was the trip of a lifetime. But david and Michelle Paul didnt make it out of fiji alive.
Actress and comedian jenny slate, music from two Door Cinema Club. Featuring the 8g band with fred armisen [ cheers and applause and now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well. And now if you dont mind, were going to get to the news well, thanks to the woke left, another confederate statue has been taken down. [ light laughter ] thats right Senate Minority leader Mitch Mcconnell announced today that he will step down from his leadership position in november. And then in december hell be stepping down from his position as krampus [ laughter ] President Biden had lunch yesterday with Vice President Kamala Harris. Hmm, did he forget his wallet with her, too . [ laughter ] Senate Intelligence chair mark warner said yesterday that it is cheaper for russia to meddle in u. S. Elections than to build military equipment thats true. All they really needed was one drone. [ laughter ] three weeks after dropping out, Marianne Williamson announce
And now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well. And now if you dont mind, were going to get to the news well, thanks to the woke left, another confederate statue has been taken down. [ light laughter ] thats right Senate Minority leader Mitch Mcconnell announced today that he will step down from his leadership position in november. And then in december hell be stepping down from his position as krampus [ laughter ] President Biden had lunch yesterday with Vice President Kamala Harris. Hmm, did he forget his wallet with her, too . [ laughter ] Senate Intelligence chair mark warner said yesterday that it is cheaper for russia to meddle in u. S. Elections than to build military equipment thats true. All they really needed was one drone. [ laughter ] three weeks after dropping out, Marianne Williamson announced today that she is quote, unsuspending her president ial campaign apparently she got some good news from her Campaign Advisor [
[ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much. Hi. Im jimmy. Im the host. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] i dont know whats going on. But right before i came out, you know, right before the show theres a guy who goes like like right as the theme goes and dicky announces me this guys like go out. As if i havent done this 14,000 times. But there was a big blob glob of something in my hair. I dont know what the hell it was. And i just pulled it and its gross. And i dont know what it was. Did you leave some of your hair gel back there . Guillermo i think it was the station manager. Jimmy was he wearing a lot of hair gel . Guillermo yeah. Jimmy how would he have gotten it onto my head . Guillermo because he say go and then he touch your head. [ laughter ] jimmy thats what it was. Thank you for clearing that up, guillermo. I tell you something. Its a beautiful summer day here in l. A. And suddenly i was on google searching ways to survive a nuclear a