But makes two stops for ten minutes, or a train that travels 40 Miles Per Hour and makes one stop for five minutes . Id go on an airplane. Stephen no. Lets make it simple. Whats going on in this picture is this. She was not sleeping. Stephen close enough. Mr. President , dont move. Theres a squirrel on your shoulder they have really taken advantage of us. Stephen i can see that. How do you plan to get rid of the squirrels . A nuclear weapon. Stephen that seems a little extreme. O whetheobliteration like yoe never seen before. Stephen lets forget the squirrels for a second. Shoo shoo okay, sir. Final question. When it comes to american democracy, what do you think your legacy will be . I was the one that ended it. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonights donald duck. Plus stephen welcomes tom holland, democratic president ial candidate andrew yang, and musical guest jenny lewis, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in
sat by while donald trump used the rally to go farther than he has before in this cultish alliance with this dangerous sometimes amorphous group called qanon by pushing lies that may sound bizarre and absurdist you can underestimate how serious they are and how they re building a following. i m not going to repeat or amplify all of them, but among them is the claim that certain hollywood actors and democrats are part of some secret pedophile group aligned with satan or who eat children. it goes on like that. i m not going to do much more of it for you tonight. i ll tell you why that is the top story. what does that have to do with midterm campaigns other than villainizing a few democrats? one of the theories is that trump will lead a battle against the forces and by the way, there are many versions and it rations of these conspiracy theories. it matters in many ways. you may recall right after donald trump was elected, a gunman opened fire in a washington, d.c. restaurant und
clearing the path for a major shift in european security. the breakthrough came on the eve of a summit in madrid. the nordic countries have been neutral for decades. post to join the military alliance after russia invaded ukraine. their application was initially blocked by turkey. turkey. yeah. fillum and sweden ha signed on a memorandum that addresses trickiest concerns, including around arms, exports on the fight against terrorism. no ally has suffered more brutally toast attacks. dr. kia, including from the texas group, p k, k, and john hall has more from the dread when a round of tripartite talks this afternoon between that turkey mister heard one and the leaders of finland in sweden clearly produced a breakthrough. the 3 signed a memorandum a memorandum quote to extend their full support against threats to each other s security. jen stilton burg. hailing the successful search for common ground, he said nato has resolved its differences. now turkey had been the only hold
On humans. In halfan in half an hour we will have more from the papers. Good evening and welcome to bbc news. The new years honours list has been published and among the many honoured is the former deputy Prime Minister and ex leader of the lib dems nick clegg, whos been knighted for his services to politics. Hes joined by bee gees star barry gibb and strictly come dancing judge darcey bussell, who has been made a dame for her services to dance. Our entertainment correspondent lizo mzimba has more details. Twist and shout. More than 50 yea rs twist and shout. More than 50 years after beatlemania, the fab fours drama has been honoured with a knighthood. What would you do if ising a knighthood. What would you do if i sing out of tune. A knighthood. What would you do if i sing out of tune. Recognising ringo starrs up the century long contribution to music. Tragedy. Former bee Gee Barry Gibb said he was humbled and very proud to be paid sir barry. War horse author and one time childoms lau
Geography. Do you like geography . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so heres a map of the united states. Its the most sexually diseased states. Now, as a general rule, the state with the most stds is traditionally whichever state where the bachelor is shooting, but not in this case. California finished 16th, which is better than i thought we would do. You know, Charlie Sheen lives here. But the number one most sexually diseased state, is fortunately, not attached to us. It is right there, alaska. [ applause ] and the reason they have the most stds in alaska is, have you ever tried to open a condom while youre wearing mittens . [ laughter ] guillermo, youre wearing mittens. Yes, jimmy. Jimmy you have a condom in your hands. Give it a try. To give you an idea of how difficult this is. Even practiced in this, this afternoon, right . Yeah. Can i use my teeth . Yeah, you can use anything, but dont bite into the you, you know. I dont want to have to heimlich you here. So you can see what im say