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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240714

[cheers and applause] magnito, the beast, cyclops flagstaff, phoenix, i made the last one up. But theyre all your favorite x men and women. There are more celebrities than parents weekend at ufc. Its quite an evening. And also with us, im super excited about this, hes the new heavyweight champion of the world. He is the first mexican ever to be heavyweight champion of the world. Andy ruiz jr. Is here. He got knocked down. He got back up again. He really captured the spirit of chumba wumba on saturday night. Thats ruiz. Its funny. I was at the dodger game. I got texts from people congratulating guillermo. On winning the heavyweight title. Put that back up there for a second. I do see a bit of resemblance, but they dont look that much, guillermo, wheres guillermo, where is guillermo . Jimmy, im right here, woo jimmy what are you doing back there . Im celebrating my heavyweight championship, jimmy. Jimmy oh, is that your, youre not andy ruiz. I know, but those white people dont know that,

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

[ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy hi hi, everybody. Welcome thank you, thank you, roots. Everyone, please have a seat welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Thank you so much for being here its a good show tonight great show tonight Chris Hemsworth is here. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause jimmy the Jonas Brothers are here [ cheers and applause i love those guys. I love Chris Hemsworth, too. When i talk to him, its like im looking in a mirror. Steve really [ laughter ] jimmy yeah you guys, everybody is excited about the world cup and the u. S. Womens National Soccer team did you see that [ cheers and applause that game was amazing. They beat thailand 130. [ cheers ] people in thailand were like, how could you do this after we made your uniforms . You know [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] you gotta feel for thailand, though its a tough way to start the tournament its the worst thing to happen to a Thai Soccer Team that didnt involve getting trapped in a cave. [ audience oh

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

Come on, man. Whatwhathow much more well, what happened to them after derderek, dont say nothing. Yeah, i just want to get what itstheyre in siberia. Theyre blasting flares out. Ptoo ptoo they dont even have food, or sprites. And then, after 30 hours, they fi [bottle thuds] finally they got rescued. [triumphant music] you wouldnt even believe it. [chuckles] oh theyre just some lunatics that said yes to an experiment. Cosmonauts, astronauts, any kind of naut. Did, yes. The nauts yessed. The nauts said, why not . [laughs] where dawhere da where da button . Where da button . [patriotic music] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out im trevor noah our guest tonight is a a former daily show correspondent, now appearing in the rook on starz olivia munn is joining us. Olivia munn is joining us, everybody cheers and

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

President of poland, said trump, when do i get to meet the president of north poland . [ laughter ] President Trump joked this afternoon that officials should consider naming a new nato military base in poland fort trump. Oh, i always assumed that this was fort trump [ laughter ] reporting for duty, colonel. [ cheers and applause president ial hopeful, senator Bernie Sanders gave a speech today defending democratic socialism, and called it the Unfinished Business of Franklin Delano roosevelt. Added sanders, who by the way, i used to babysit. [ laughter and applause singers katy perry and taylor swift announced on social media last night that they have ended their years long feud by posting a picture of a plate of cookies with the words peace at last written in icing then one of them ate last cookie and the feud started all over again. [ laughter and applause according to new research, americans play an average of two to five smart phone games per month. Games like, will she text me bac

Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

Poolweek to protest an incident in which the pool manager asked a woman to cover herself or leave the pool while breastfeeding her child and while management was upset, the mothers were really pumped a california man has posted a video that appears to show a driver asleep in his tesla while driving on t freeway wow, i wonder how he fell asleep did he talk about owning a tesla . [ laughter and applause uhhuh. Uhhuh, wow. Wow. W, wohat is really cool [ laughter ] really happy for you. And finally, a florida man was arrested yesterday afterin allegedly dancaround naked at a mcdonalds. Fortunately the man was quickly apprehended and transported to an appropriate facility. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonigus [ cheers and appla we one of my favorite comedians in his new movie being frank is in theaters this friday. Jim y. Ffigan is back, everybod [ cheers and applause she stars in the new netflixre show, now sting, dead to me. Its fantastic Linda Carde

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