[ cheers and applause ] i got this for playing cookie on empire. Thank you to the fans. Thank you for watching. Im jim jeffries, i think we can all do better, good night. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you for tuning in and thank you for coming out thank you so much for coming out im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is the governor of the great state of california, gavin newsom is joining us, everybody cheers and applause also on tonights show, Greta Thunberg roasts the u. N. Lenny kravitz has lost his mojo, and donald trump is getting impeached. cheers and applause please, please please, melania, stop cheering. laughter so let lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with the United Nations General Assembly. Every year the worlds leaders gather together in new york city to clog up our traffic and ruin our food deliveries. They also try to s
Planes. Greta thunberg is joining us, everybody. cheers and applause also on tonights show, vaping will be illegal. Lewis black is here to save the future. And one of the worlds biggest drug dealers is finally paying up. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with some big news out of washington because the vaping industry may be about to go up in smoke. President trump will propose banning all flavored ecigarettes after the c. D. C. Reported at least six people may have died from vapingrelated illnesses. Vaping has become a very big business, as i understand it, like a giant business in a very short period of time. But we cant allow people to get sick, and we cant have our youth be so affected. And im hearing it. And thats how the first lady got involved. Shes got a son together that is a a beautiful young man. And she feels very, very strongly about it. laughter trevor shes got a son . laughter you mean the son she made with you . laughter how on earth does trump forg
Body to egypt. You will never have to sit next to a baby on an airplane again. And trump is getting impeached. cheers and applause a lot of trump fans in the audience. Lets catch up on todays headlines. First up, some exciting news from the world of history and art. New Yorks Metropolitan Museum of art has sent a stolen antique back home. The met returned the golden coffin of an egyptian priest. It was smuggled out of egypt after the revolution in 2011. The coffin dates back 2,000 years and forged documents were used to sell it. Trevor the metropolitan had a gold coffin smuggled out of egypt. It was smuggled in someones ass. Not easy. laughter but they used forged documents, how should we have known this 2,000yearold coffin belongs in egypt . How does someone fool you . See, ive got the receipt when i see this image, i think why dont we bury people like this anymore . Not the gold part. Just like painting face on the coffin. I think thats cool. I want to be buried like that. Because wh
But, chef, when is the right age for us to start having sex . Its very simple, children. The right time to start having sex is. 17. 17 . 17. So you mean 17, as long as youre in love . Nope, just 17. But what if youre not ready at 17 . 17, youre ready. Well, i guess we got a while to wait before we worry about sex and diseases, huh, wendy . Yeah, thank god. Well, i guess now that thats out of the way, we can get on with our lives. Come here, boy. Thats it, red rocket, red rocket, come on, yeah. Come on, red rocket, dog. Red rocket now. Okay, children, so what other sexual positions did we talk about . Yeah, the wraparound butt grab. Sure, cant forget that. Uhhuh, reverse cowgirl. Good, kevin. Hot lunch . Yeah, she likes that. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out wow lets do it lets make a show im trevor noa
And please, please shes not doing parking tickets today, people. Please. laughter also on tonights show, the price of gas is going up, new accusations are coming out against brett kavanaugh, and mike pence fights a horse. So lets catch uh on todays headlines. Lets kick itff with an update on that College Cheating scandal and the celebrity mom whos getting locked up. We are back now with intense reaction to Felicity Huffmans sentencing. The actress must report to prison in the next six weeks to serve 14 days for her role in the College Admissions scandal. She paid 15,000 to inflate her daughters s. A. T. Score as part of a massive College Cheating scandal. In the courtroom an emotional huffman told the judge, i was frightened, i was stupid and i was so wrong. Trevor okay. She said she committed the crime because she was frightened and stupid . I get the stupid part. What were you frightened of . Was the principal to have school, like, maam, your kids score is only good enough nor the un