Slow the testing down, please okay. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, oklastayedhomea. Plus stephen welcomes james corden and musical guest bright eyes, with a special appearance by laura benanti. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. Live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen you want to see me do a tik tok dance, baby . You like that, baby . Mmm, mmm. I dont know if its going to happen. Wwelcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Hope you had a great weekend. It was a bit of a tough one for president trump. His rally was a bust. Boltons book got the goahead, and to top it off, he got a card yesterday reminding him hes erics father. Saturday nights rally was supposed to be trumps big moment. Hes been jonesing for the frothedup crowd for three months. His campaign was advertising it as the Great American comeback festival. Thats right. This indoor rally of thousands of screaming fans was a chance for a comeback for trump and covid19.
The thin attic walls you know what . I might go for it. I might go for it, guys. Lets get to the news. President trump tweeted this morning, quote, buffalo protester shoved by police could be an antifa provocateur 75 yearold Martin Gugino was pushed away after appearing to scan Police Communications in order to black out the equipment. I watched. He fell harder than was pushed was aiming scanner could be a setup . Oh, my god whats wrong with you . You tweeted that thats not for twitter that kind of insanity clearly belongs on facebook. You know what this means for the next few days all 52 republican senators are going to be hiding in trumps bunker. Oh, we cant see tweets down here too dark i didnt see it House Democrats and Speaker Nancy Pelosi kneeled for 8 minutes and 46 seconds in a show of solidarity with protesters and im not sure thats the answer if this was their halloween costume, theyd be banned from the school yearbook. According to the latest numbers, almost a half Million P
Lets get to the news. Russian president Vladimir Putin reportedly had a disinfectant tunnel installed in his home to protect him from coronavirus and now we go live to President Trump so he can make fun of putin for being a snowflake. Seth huh, hes probably just thinking of a clever burn, you know well come back to him during his speech yesterday about police reform, President Trump falsely suggested that scientists have developed a vaccine for aids man, you know hes going to lie, but you never know where hes going with it or when its going to happen. Hell be giving a speech on tax cuts and throw in by the way, cell phones can get you pregnant anyway, back to the thing. Thats right President Trump falsely suggested that scientists have developed a vaccine for aids though, keep in mind, this is the same guy who asked bill gates the difference between hiv and hpv twice. So hes definitely confusing it with something else. Aches, maybe its not really a vaccine, but i take advil when i have
Okay. Ill take a nap. This sort of thing never happened back at the ed sullivan theater. God, i wish i was there again. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, is stephen sleeping or is he awake . And is all existence just a collective hallucination to deceive us about the true nature of reality . Plus, stephen welcomes Thandie Newton. And ina garten. With a special appearance by john mulaney. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from his own subconscious, its Stephen Colbert stephen whoo hey, everybody. Thank you. Thank you so much. Please, please have a seat. Ladies and gentlemen. Everybody, in here, out there, all around the world. Welcome to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause audience stephen, Stephen Stephen and. Hold on a second. cheers and applause click silence there you go. Folks, as you can see, i am coming to you once again from the beautiful ed sullivan theater here in midtown manhattan. And i can do this be
Believe me. So get the king dons bible today before supplies are hurled at protesters. And, remember, if someone slaps you on theheek, i got two words for you tear. Gas. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight coup and what army . plus, stephen welcomes keeganmichael key and wes moore. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen look at the hair. The hair is getting out of control. You ready to do this . One, two. Phew welcome to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Its yet another historic day in america. And, as usual with donald trump, it aint the good kind of history. Ken burns, ive got your next project the civil war 2 half the civil, all the war. For a week, americas streets have been filled with protesters enraged over the murder of george floyd by police, while trump said practically nothing. But last night, at 6 45, he finally appeared in the rose garden to calm a troubled nation by threatening martial law. I am mobilizing all availab