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Transcripts For COM At Midnight 20131112

Class nosel noCC 01311 q john hodgmanJohn Hodgman 6, Hodgman 5, Kurt 3, Kurt Braunohler 3, Miley Cyrus 2, Ima B Me 1, Bro 1, Dude 1, Tate Me 1, Vrn 1, On Utiewrks 1, Faf Lol 1, Teala Tequila 1, Myspace 1, J. K. 1, Sweetie 1, Seattle 1, Neptune 1, Heaven 1, Lorne 1 Network Comedy Central Duration 00 31 00 Rating TVG Scanned in San Francisco, CA, USA Language English Source Comcast Cable Tuner Channel v63 Video Codec mpeg2video Audio Cocec ac3 Pixel width 528 Pixel height 480 Audio Visual sound, color

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131219

We also have David Koechner on the show. Thats almost too much show. Paul rudd will be joining those two, the three of them and what do we get, three, why not four, why not put steve carell on the show, as well, all four. [cheering and applause] and what did you do today . [laughter] lets begin in washington. You know, if you watch this show regularly. [laughter] really . Nobody . All right. Youre probably accustomed to two things the delightful rhyme [bleeped]. [laughter] and maddening tales of waste, fraude and abuse. Well, tonight we have tale so wasteful, so fraudulent, so abusey, you cant hate the player, you can only [bleeped] the game. Why would i say that again . That doesnt even. That doesnt belong there. It makes no sense. Just go to it. This is the case of john beale, who was the highestpaid e. P. A. Official there is and one of its top experts in Climate Change who has now admitted through his lawyer that he did absolutely no work for years by telling his bosses he was doin

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131219

Will ferrell on the show. Thats tremendous. We also have David Koechner on the show. Thats almost too much show. Paul rudd will be joining those two, the three of them and what do we get, three, why not four, why not put steve carell on the show, as well, all four. [cheering and applause] and what did you do today . [laughter] lets begin in washington. You know, if you watch this show regularly. [laughter] really . Nobody . All right. Youre probably accustomed to two things the delightful rhyme [bleeped]. [laughter] and maddening tales of waste, fraude and abuse. Well, tonight we have tale so wasteful, so fraudulent, so abusey, you cant hate the player, you can only [bleeped] the game. Why would i say that again . That doesnt even. That doesnt belong there. It makes no sense. Just go to it. This is the case of john beale, who was the highestpaid e. P. A. Official there is and one of its top experts in Climate Change who has now admitted through his lawyer that he did absolutely no work

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131220

Some brown sugar on that. Now according to the acsi this years top customer satisfier was mercedesbenz, the cadillac of cars. So congratulations on the extra effort, mercedes, which of course was a complete waste. Because Bloomberg Business week crunched the data this week comparing the satisfaction ranks with each companys stock price and found that Customer Service scores have no relevance to stock market returns. The most hated companies performed better and your con tempt really truly doesnt matter. If anything t might hurt Company Profits to spend moneymaking customers happy. Thats right, folks, the free market has spoken. And it said [bleep] you. laughter stephen for instance, the stock of one of the lowest scoring companies in the survey Time Warner Cable surged 450 over the past five years, which is particularly surprising since five years is how long youve been waiting for the cable guy. Remember, remember, they said hed be there between 2009 and 2014, so dont go anywhere. And

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140107

Wasteful, so fraudulent, so abusey, you cant hate the player, you can only [bleeped] the game. Why would i say that again . That doesnt even. That doesnt belong there. It makes no sense. Just go to it. This is the case of john beale, who was the highestpaid e. P. A. Official there is and one of its top experts in Climate Change who has now admitted through his lawyer that he did absolutely no work for years by telling his bosses he was doing undercover work for the c. I. A. It turns out he had no affiliation with the c. I. A. Whatsoever. [cheering and applause] jon i tip my cap to you. This is amazing. What a delicious stew of government bugaboo, noshow job, a Climate Change gob, lack of oversight with just a sue sont of brazen fraud. You say its interesting, its a good story. Im looking in the direction of this story. Hook me. He told his bosses that he was working undercover for the c. I. A. , spending a lot of time in pakistan dealing with the taliban. In fact, investigators have no

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