This race was closer than donald and ivanka at a fatherdaughter dance. [ laughter and applause ] the ballots are still being counted. Joe biden definitely did better than hillary clinton. He was able to pick up the sexist vote but he didnt do as well among racists. [ laughter ] even though the deal appears to be sealed, theres still a lot of attention being paid to the state of pennsylvania. The amish havent wielded this much power since they figured out how to hook a plow to an ox. [ laughter ] ive been thinking about all this. For me the biggest question is, why did we believe the polls again . Youd think wed have learned our lesson. But i guess thats not how humans function. Were on season 25 of the bachelor and were like, i know it didnt work out the first 24 times but this one feels like love. [ laughter ] heres a theory thats very convenient for the pollsters, which is they claim the reason theyre wrong again is because people who supported donald trump lied to them because theyr
Democrats were hoping for. This race was closer than donald and ivanka at a fatherdaughter dance. [ laughter and applause ] the ballots are still being counted. Joe biden definitely did better than hillary clinton. He was able to pick up the sexist vote but he didnt do as well among racists. [ laughter ] even though the deal appears to be sealed, theres still a lot of attention being paid to the state of pennsylvania. The amish havent wielded this much power since they figured out how to hook a plow to an ox. [ laughter ] ive been thinking about all this. For me the biggest question is, why did we believe the polls again . Youd think wed have learned our lesson. But i guess thats not how humans function. Were on season 25 of the bachelor and were like, i know it didnt work out the first 24 times but this one feels like love. [ laughter ] heres a theory thats very convenient for the pollsters, which is they claim the reason theyre wrong again is because people who supported donald trump
Joe biden has a big lead. You know, its interesting, the republicans are saying dont Pay Attention to the polls, we are going to win and democrats are saying, dont Pay Attention to the polls, theres a good chance well lose so, finally, something we agree on. I guess. The republican reelection strategy seems to be centered around making it as difficult as possible for us to vote. In texas, the governor, even though we are in the middle of a pandemic, banned additional mailin dropoff boxes. There is only one ballot drop box per county in texas, the biggest county in texas has almost 5 Million People one box. The governor, greg abbott, is apparently worried that if each county has more than one ballot box, people might put their ballots in them and have those ballots counted, which could lead to democracy. Then who knows what. And, of course, trump, because he needs an excuse if he loses, keeps screaming that the earlyvoting effort is fixed by the government, that he runs. Meanwhile, gues
To win is because he lost. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and those dont go together. But ill tell you something. Theres no room for pessimism in the white house. Racyism, sexism, yes, but no pessimism. [ laughter ] the big orange guy is said to be feeling blue. Poutus is reportedly dejected and fuming. And soon hes going to understand what it feels like to be evicted from your home in the middle of a pandemic. [ laughter ] we got a brief glimpse of the president yet yesterday at Arlington National cemetery, but he hasnt spoken in public since a week ago. This was the president s schedule today. 12 30, he had lunch with the Vice President. And that was that. [ laughter ] does he know that hes still president for two more months . Or is he just hiding . Boy, i would have loved to have been at that lunch. What do you think they talked about . Mike pence knows whats up. Hes sitting there going, yes, sir, well be here for four more years for sure. Its like going to your grandpa in the nursing h
[ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, that was uncomfortable. [ laughter ] everybody, thank you for joining in tonight. Im jimmy, im the host. Im the captain of the dance team here at the show. For the first time in about four years, its looking like theres no need to feel down. Ding dong the witch hunt is almost dead. [ laughter ] the winged monkeys are about to fly out of the white house. The cowardly liars hitting the yellow brick road. I would not want to be Donald Trumps my pillow tonight. He is liable to chew right through that thing. What a day for the president. Pennsylvania, georgia turned out to be bluer than Mitch Mcconnells hands. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the presumptive president elect, joe biden, addressed the nation tonight. This is unprecedented. A spokesperson for joe biden said the United States government is perfectly capable of escorting trespassers out of the white house. [ laughter ] in other words, hit the road, maralago, youre g