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Transcripts For DW DW News - News 20171102

Also coming up the man accused of carrying out the new york terror attack tells a court he feels good about what he has done donald trump says a suspect should be given the Death Penalty. A controversial anniversary britain and israel celebrate the agreement that led to the creation of israel for palestinians though it marked the start of a struggle that goes on to this day. Also coming up british central bankers try to minimize the fallout from brags that the bank of england raises Interest Rates for the first time in over a decade. And it took them fifty six years but the Houston Astros and finally taken baseballs top prize the world series will take a closer look at how they did it. Im simply so much going to get to have you with us were. Ports from spain say a judge has ordered the arrest of the dismissed Catalan Leader Carlos Boozer tomorrow the move comes after pushing off failed to show up in court in madrid to answer questions on catalonia declaration of independence he is curr

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160720

bleep news team in town covering the convention. First up, jordan klepper, everybody cheers and applause yes, thank you thanks, trevor. Things are going great over here. Loving cleveland, go cavs as far as the republicans fear mongering, im not buying it. Trevor whats in your hand . Oh, my blankie . Just drafty out here. Dont worry were ant to hand this over to a narcissist who will bankrupt us. I definitely dont want my mommy now. Be a big boy, jordan trevor stay strong, jordan. Lets go to desi lydic, everybody, on the street cheers and applause desi, do you share jordans concern over trump . Trevor, why would i worry donald trump is going to kill us in the future when im gonna die today . Trevor what are you talking about . Im in the middle of an angry political protest in an open carry state. You dont know, trevor, i just saw grandma open a cap of great lakes with an ar15. Youre not in this trevor i feel for you, desi. Minhaj is joining us on the Convention Floor hows it going . Im

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160801

This over to a narcissist who will bankrupt us. I definitely dont want my mommy now. Be a big boy, jordan trevor stay strong, jordan. Lets go to desi lydic, everybody, on the street cheers and applause desi, do you share jordans concern over trump . Trevor, why would i worry donald trump is going to kill us in the future when im gonna die today . Trevor what are you talking about . Im in the middle of an angry political protest in an open carry state. You dont know, trevor, i just saw grandma open a cap of great lakes with an ar15. Youre not in this trevor i feel for you, desi. Minhaj is joining us on the Convention Floor hows it going . Im sorry, trevor, my name is chad smith. I dont know who this hasan is, but he sounds a little too muslim to be safe at a trump convention. Ha ha you know what i mean, trevor . I love nascar. Trevor hasan, seriously . You put on white face . You mean my naturally fair and lovely complex that i got from my reallife parents bryce and i wanna say leslie .

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160720

Ow, my balls, my balls, my balls 3000 xl . King schlong . Was it oohaahaah down with the thickness . Looky here, mama made a meatloaf . Wang finangler supreme . Wiener wiener bobiener . Could it have been people magazines boner of the year 2007 . Reeses penis . Was it jack jack, im flying . Mad max fury. Boner . Was it splat splat splat splat . Jacktacular shaft reactor . Was it master disasterbater . You know what it couldve been . Big man penishaver. Yes yes. Yeah . Incredible. It probably was that. [ cheers and applause ] from cleveland, the top city in ohio geographically, the 2016 Republican National convention. So mission accomplished. Night one, an unbelievably classy, tremendous and good and huge convention. cheers and applause trevor thank you so much, cleveland thank you so much, cleveland folks. Folks, were gonna win. applause were gonna do so much winning, folks. I mean, wow, folks, were gonna win. So much show tonight, folks bigley. I know some of you are saying i plagiari

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160720

I know some of you are saying i plagiarized that entrance, but i want you to know that entrance represented my personal feelings and experiences of being in cleveland. Welcome to night one of the daily shows Republican National convention, people im trevor noah, your host we made it in cleveland and hopefully well make it out alive. We thought this convention would be chaos and havent been disappointed. Where do we start . In the first few hours, hundreds of Convention Delegates tried to boycott. Wrong try better. The police came out and said they dont feel safe. Maybe because this is going on. I never understand the camouflage. If youre trying to blend, in maybe start by losing the enormous assault rifles, people applause last night the republicans put on a threehour prime time show called foreigners are coming to kill you. Other than that, everything is great in cleveland and im not the only one who feels this way because im joined by the best bleep news team in town covering the con

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