[applause] [applause] greg: put your pants back on. Happy monday, everyone. Over the weekend donald trump held a rally in butler, pennsylvania. The site of the first assassination attempt. He spoke from behind a shield made of patent plexiglass, the same material they used to build nancy pelosi. Not to be outdone, kamala harris will join the view where the secret service will have harpoon guns in case the cast gets hungry. You are booing? get him out of here. On tuesday kamala harris will be interviewed, she is well prepared having worked for four years under a different fart man. [applause] greg: i will take it. After a seven month narcotics investigation of a large shipment of elephant tranquilizer has been seized on long island. Now how will i sleep? asks one woman. I thought that was going my way. Greg: a frontier jet caught fire during a hard landing at the las vegas airport. The company quickly responded by announcing they are bringing back the smoking section. In a rare solo
[ cheers and applause ] greg: yes, yes, you you should be clapping. I would be clapping if i were you. Happy wednesday everybody. The performance at last night s debate was panned up by both parties now talk of replacing him with a sharper more capable candidate. In a bazaar gaffe he said he was school shooters friends. School shooters denied this not wanting to associate with him. Ana navarro said of j. D. Vance to be a shape shifter. She s jealous he was able to shape shift without i was and pick. Throughout the debate he was seen writing on a notepad what could he have been writing. Nothing wrong with loving sports and men and sportsmen. Speaking of he called himself a knucklehead for saying he was in china during the denman square massacre i guess he needs to take this picture down from his website. Throughout the debate he had a deer in headlights look on his face looking like he. [ bleeps ] his pants according to someone familiar to the situation. Jimmy carter turns 100 this week
[ ] feels good to be on top. And the bottom. Happy tuesday everyone. Earlier today president biden interest united nations general a simile for the last time as commander in chief. He said he will miss their colourful costumes and the way they sing. At the small world after all. Earlier today the president of iran also addressed the u. N. Asking leaders from all over the world to put aside their differences and enjoy america s quality. He then led the entire assembly in arousing performance of death to america. But in a sign of goodwill is representative with a monogram pager. [cheering and applause] [laughter] so the president of türkiye also addressed the general assembly today. Causing 1 man to ask, did someone say türkiye? new footage of an unidentified hump in scotland s loch ness suggests that there might be 2 loch ness monsters. 3 more and they will have a show. [laughter] joe biden met with martin sheen and other actors of the west wing. Sheens it was nice to meet someone
[cheering] thank you, thank you. All right, all right first of all i would like to apologize to Tonights Audience and viewers at home we will not be airing the Steve Doocy Cooking segment tonight. [laughter] we apologize to mr. Doocy Butir Youll still be ablein to get hs new Book Cooking with crisco for freeyo. Instead welfare a very special Show Tonight so lets welcome our guest. Shes still quite humorous with a fetus in her uterus New Yorks Times best Selling Author Washington contributor kat timpf shes from San Francisco and appreciates indoor Plumbingsh Cohost emily. E N Itfr is deltoid deflect an Asteroid Comedian former champion tyrus. And he loves Diet Coke but hates the woke. Choosing this insanity over Shaun Hannity lets crank it up to 11 for president 45 and 47, the Man P Interest rates In The Red corner from queens new York President of the united Statesid Donald j. Trump. [applause] there you go. [laughter] so mr. P, hows your Golf Game . I havent been thinking about it too
Like a villain. There is a huge strike going on that can affect a business that is near and dear to all of us which means. There is a civil war at cinnabon and it is delicious. Greg did you think i was talking about the Writers Strike do you people even care . Missing hollywood writers is up there with missing geraldo, john lemon, and ham. What do i care. And workers at the cinnabon declared a strike and filed a civil rights complaint against their employer. The owner installed a policy banning political statements in the store, including pride flags. [laughter] pride flags. It is true. Executive that oversees a bunch of cinnabons sent out a message declaring that we do not discriminate or celebrate any particular race, ethnic group, gender, religious group, any story store is displaying a pride like it is to be taken down immediately. One of the workers asked that a rainbow pin will be okay. Nonspecific pens are okay, but sports team, schools, are not. Lets stick to what cinnabon does