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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

Jimmy thank you very much. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it [ cheers and applause youre here. You made it. Thank you very much. You guys, this is fun. Shark week is officially here steve yeah [ cheers ] jimmy and if youre excited about that, youre either a marine biologist or really high [ light laughter ] i read that shark week started back in 1988 yeah its been around for over 30 years even crazier, theyve just been airing the same ten shows and nobodys noticed [ laughter ] get this, every year there are about 80 unprovoked shark attacks. Yeah, 80 unprovoked attacks. Or as President Trump calls that, a weekend. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] actually trump loves shark week. Its the one time he can tweet, i love great whites, without being called a racist. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause steve really jimmy speaking of the president , the other day he invited some reporters in to talk about how he might put a tax on french

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

A guy can dream, said trump, with his two projectiles [ laughter ] reporters have found that a doctored version of the president ial seal was projected behind President Trump at an event earlier this week, which featured a twoheaded Russian Eagle clutching a set of golf clubs and a banner reading 45 is a puppet in spanish. [ laughter ] hmm. Somebody doesnt like trump and also speaks spanish . Busted [ laughter and applause according to reports, Rudy Guiliani is serving as President Trumps lawyer for free well, i think we can all agree he is worth every penny. [ laughter and applause thats right guiliani is serving as trumps lawyer for free. Well, actually, what trump said is, you can bill me all you want but i am never going to pay you. [ laughter and applause according to Campaign Finance records, indiana mayor, Pete Buttigieg has spent 300,000 on private plane travel, while Bernie Sanders just asked Spirit Airlines if they have a punch card [ laughter and applause every tenth flight

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