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reality that he wasn t with us anymore. and i believed immediately that he was in heaven. what made you believe that? my faith was strengthened in those moments. i didn t doubt it at all. the video went viral. it did. it had been going around for hours even though ben had just passed away a few hours before. why do you think he made that video? it was ben s way of saying good-bye. and i think it was a gift to the world. i think he wanted others to have hope that there is life after life. and that there is peace in the midst of suffering.
i remember the paramedics gathering around ben and measuring all types of vitals and that sort of thing. the ambulance arrived and they put him into the back of the ambulance with my mom. there was a moment there where you just let go. there was a point in there where i realized that the answer to my prayer maybe was going to be, i m going to take him home, to heaven. finally they were wheeling him from the e.r. to a regular room. and i was walking alongside the gurney holding ben s hand. and this warm little hand, which i was loving at the moment, ben was looking straight up and he said, mom, do you see that light?
that i will have accomplished whatever it is i came here to do. which is what? you know, i believe that all of us have only come here to realize who we are and to be true to who we are. most people, myself included, fear death. what do you say to them? when you lose your fear of death, you actually lose your fear of life as well. and to this day, you re cancer-free? yes. to this day, i m cancer-free. finally, they were wheeling him from the e.r. to a regular room. ben was looking straight up and he said, mom, do you see that light?
scared for him anymore because he wasn t sad or scared. and he added, i m okay with whatever god decides. did that bring you peace? a lot, yes. he wasn t afraid of dying anymore at that point. the day he chose to make this video, we had that home church that morning, and we didn t know what he was doing afterwards, but that s when he went into his room and made this video. so a week later, christmas day. we actually had a wonderful christmas morning together. we opened presents as a family. we were all laughing and ben was very adamant about playing our annual family game of monopoly. and it was right after that that he went outside with jake and watched him jump on the trampoline with his friends. i was in the kitchen starting to fix christmas dinner, and i
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