a couple of students came running in and said that a student was passed out on the floor in the commons and he was purple. and i remember saying, oh, my god it is ben. i mean, i knew he was not breathing. and then i just started doing cpr. and just thinking, please god, let him wake up. it sounds like the white light is back. what happened in that room? what did he tell you? it was like that pitch white light. he said, and then all of a sudden i realized kid cudi was with me.
that i will have accomplished whatever it is i came here to do. which is what? you know, i believe that all of us have only come here to realize who we are and to be true to who we are. most people, myself included, fear death. what do you say to them? when you lose your fear of death, you actually lose your fear of life as well. and to this day, you re cancer-free? yes. to this day, i m cancer-free. finally, they were wheeling him from the e.r. to a regular room. ben was looking straight up and he said, mom, do you see that light?
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on the first day of summer, ben thought he would be on the lake wake boarding. i went into the room and it was similar to the time he was four, but i knew he wasn t having a seizure because he was conscious and he was talking. his fingers were blue. by the time we got to the e.r., we learned there was an abscess on the tonsil. so we went into everything expecting it to be extremely routine. but it was during the surgery that ben experienced cardiac arrest. he finally got up to icu and he was unconscious and they had him on the a breathing machine. they warned us that when he woke up, the hope was he would be able to breath on his own. we didn t know what to expect and when he woke up, he looked at ali or me or one of us and said, guys, i need to get back to work. and that s the first thing on his mind. and we re like, okay, ben s back.
mirror. he said when he was looking in that mirror, he wasn t just seeing his reflection, but he saw his whole life. he said when he looked in the mirror, it was the best feeling and that he was happy with everything that had happened in his life and he was proud of himself. and ben thought he was going forward to heaven, but instead he woke up on the floor of the high school. i had come home from college to visit that weekend, and we sat out by the lake on our boat dock. it was very unusual to find him out in the dark in the middle of the night in the winter when it was so cold so i asked why he was there. he said i think god gave me that