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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170315

I wont say its the reason people hate us but its one of the reasons everyone hates us. I hope those of you at home are warm, maybe even cuddly, i would like that for you. It is very cold on the east coast thanks to storm stella. Thousands of flights are canceled, there are blizzard warnings, school closings, mittens are being pinned to jackets, juice is turning into popsicles on its own, its crazy. Make no mistake, you turn on the weather channel, try to find out whats going on, you see the meteorologists giving advice, telling you to be careful, make no mistake, those people are not on your side. Those people are rooting against us and for the weather, theyre rooting for the snow. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] theres a lot of snow on the ground. This is where it goes. In new york, even the bbc has a weather reporter on stand. Keep a special eye on the buy in the background here for tonights snowstorm edition of behind the news. New york city has had about 1,500 plows out all da

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170315

And now no one gets on planes. [ light laughter ] President Trump yesterday described the discussions over the Republican Health plan as a, quote, big, fat, beautiful negotiation. Well, hes making progress. Its the first time hes ever described anything as fat and beautiful. [ laughter ] good for you. President trump yesterday held his first Cabinet Meeting at the white house, while eric trump lives in a white house cabinet. [ laughter ] can i come out now, father . Are the guests gone . [ cheers and applause ] according to the washington post, President Trump has spent about 15 of the time since his inauguration at a property that he owns or that is named after him. Hes splitting his time between trump tower, trump golf courses, and the fat old racist spa and resort. [ laughter ] and despite the name, excellent, excellent spa services. [ light laughter ] a woman confronted White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer in an apple store this weekend. Not sure where he was in the apple store,

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170315

And now no one gets on planes. [ light laughter ] President Trump yesterday described the discussions over the Republican Health plan as a, quote, big, fat, beautiful negotiation. Well, hes making progress. Its the first time hes ever described anything as fat and beautiful. [ laughter ] good for you. President trump yesterday held his first Cabinet Meeting at the white house, while eric trump lives in a white house cabinet. [ laughter ] can i come out now, father . Are the guests gone . [ cheers and applause ] according to the washington post, President Trump has spent about 15 of the time since his inauguration at a property that he owns or that is named after him. Hes splitting his time between trump tower, trump golf courses, and the fat old racist spa and resort. [ laughter ] and despite the name, excellent, excellent spa services. [ light laughter ] a woman confronted White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer in an apple store this weekend. Not sure where he was in the apple store,

Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170315

I wont say its the reason people hate us but its one of the reasons everyone hates us. I hope those of you at home are warm, maybe even cuddly, i would like that for you. It is very cold on the east coast thanks to storm stella. Thousands of flights are canceled, there are blizzard warnings, school closings, mittens are being pinned to jackets, juice is turning into popsicles on its own, its crazy. Make no mistake, you turn on the weather channel, try to find out whats going on, you see the meteorologists giving advice, telling you to be careful, make no mistake, those people are not on your side. Those people are rooting against us and for the weather, theyre rooting for the snow. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] theres a lot of snow on the ground. This is where it goes. In new york, even the bbc has a weather reporter on stand. Keep a special eye on the buy in the background here for tonights snowstorm edition of behind the news. New york city has had 1,500 plows out all day on a

Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170315

In l. A. Against the lakers tonight at golden state. First quarter action. Sirs open the game on a 60 run. Darrian steps back three here. Right now, its a tight one out theresixers lead in the second quarter. Inside of three weeks until baseballs opening day. The goal at this point, stay healthy. That said, phils and braves, tommy joseph takes the pitch off the first hand. Xrays are negative. He has a bruise might miss a few days. Homer yesterday. This is his fifth. Batting never satisfied. I mean the moment you get comfortable, you are on the way out. Im never comfortable. Im having a good time. Like i said earlier, never satisfied. I look forward to the yan tomorrow. Hes looking good. Thank you, ducis. Jimmy kimmel live live followed by nightline. 4 a pamela edwards,tt odonnels with traffic. Im jim gardner. Goodnight. Dicky from hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight dax shepard. From the mick, sofia blackdelia. And chef Thomas Keller. And now, without further ado, heres jimmy kimm

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