I wont say its the reason people hate us but its one of the reasons everyone hates us. I hope those of you at home are warm, maybe even cuddly, i would like that for you. It is very cold on the east coast thanks to storm stella. Thousands of flights are canceled, there are blizzard warnings, school closings, mittens are being pinned to jackets, juice is turning into popsicles on its own, its crazy. Make no mistake, you turn on the weather channel, try to find out whats going on, you see the meteorologists giving advice, telling you to be careful, make no mistake, those people are not on your side. Those people are rooting against us and for the weather, theyre rooting for the snow. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] theres a lot of snow on the ground. This is where it goes. In new york, even the bbc has a weather reporter on stand. Keep a special eye on the buy in the background here for tonights snowstorm edition of behind the news. New york city has had 1,500 plows out all day on a continuous cycle cleaning the roadways. And officials are warning people that if theres no reason to go out, to stay indoors. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy jolly, happy soul. Its funny but if you get hit by a bus at that moment . Its even funnier, i guess. This is a house in upstate new york. By the way thats exactly what the inside of the freezer in my garage look is like. Look at this everything is frozen. What do you do if thats your house . I dont know, you have to move until easter, right . Just because your house is frozen solid or youre cooped up with the kids doesnt mean you cant have fun in weather like this. One of our infamous youtube challenges, this is where i challenge you to do something and you do it, its very simple. Were done this a nooft in the past. For fathers day last year i their dads using something other than a ball. That went well. Dad, do you want to play catch . [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. Jimmy the year before that we had kids feed their dad breakfast in the shower. Happy fathers day aagh jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel made me do it jimmy i didnt make him do anything, he did it on his own. This was one of my favorite challenges. This one is selfexplanatory. Hey, jimmy kimmel, this is me spraying my dad with a hose. [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] jimmy you get the idea. [ cheers and applause ] you understand thats the sort tonight i would like to invite you to participate in our next video montage, a winter storm youtube challenge. Go outside, get a ball of soft, fresh, beautiful snow, dont pack it into an ice ball, dont kill your family or dent their heads. Just get a nice snowball, bring to it the bedroom, and throw it on a loved one while he or she sleeps. Record and it post it to youtube with this title. Hey jimmy kimmel i served a snowball in bed. Use that title so we can find it and look for a message from us. Hey jimmy kimmel i served a snowball in bed. Well watch all of them, good luck. Im counting on you to do the wrong thing, okay . [ cheers and applause ] i dont know how many of you are here on spring break right now . [ cheers and applause ] College Students are out of down for spring break. This is the time of year students take a welldeserved break from partying and drinking at schoo on a beach or perhaps another town. Over the next few weeks more than 50,000 future careers will be ruined by photos posted on facebook of spring break. If you are away on spring break, have fun, do whatever you need to do, dont Forget Congress is about to take away your health care, so if youre going to do something dumb, do it now while its still covered, okay if the ncaa basketball tournament is kind of under way. Tonight what they call the first four, playing games for the teams that have absolutely no chance of winning anything, theres a waste of time. After tomorrow 64 teams will compete. The next few weeks theyll be whittled down until only two teams remain. Then those two teams will get married by Chris Harrison . Is that how it works . I dont know, its been a long anyway, over the next couple of weeks every office in america turns into a lowstake kaz seen know. Some people submit multiple brackets. I dont want to say thito job. People who submit multiple brackets at work are the same monsters who tear a muffin apart with their hands and put the other halfback on the tray. They do every year they do studies about all the Money Companies lose because their employees are watching the basketball tournament instead of working. That may have been true in 1995 but if your employees are wasting time watching basketball, theyd be wasting time on instagram and facebook, thats just how it is. Wasting time is our fulltime job now, okay . We have an office pool here. We have a big staff. And it can get confusing. We had some controversy with our super bowl squares this year. So to make sure we got this one right, we actually hired an Accounting Firm to keep track of all the brackets this the year. Oh, hey, how you doing . What is your name . Im doug from waterhouse price coopers coopers. Jimmy wait, you guys are the accountants that did the oscars . No, that was Price Waterhouse coopers. We changed our name. Jimmy you changed your name. Well, lets just say we got everything under control now. Jimmy i dont know about this. So what we got here is all the names of your potential winners of your office pool thingy. All marked individually in envelopes. Jimmy yeah, i dont i need to rehearse. Jimmy yeah, i dont think we really please, jimmy, we need this. Jimmy okay, all right, fine. What do you want me to do . Announce the name of the winner, please. Jimmy okay. Ill need the envelope, then. All right. Jimmy okay, the winner of our march Madness Office Pool is moonlight. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy are you sure this is did moonlight enter our office pool . Oh, god. Jimmy do we have a staffer named moonlight . God, theyre going to kill me. Jimmy oh, no. Jimmy, theyre going to kill you. Jimmy theyre thought going to kill you. Its just a sketch. Guillermo, can you get me out of the country . Guillermo sorry, youre on your dougs on his own [ cheers and applause ] jimmy heres a new fashion item for those of you who are parents. But also in club wear. It took many years to figure out. The folks at top shop found a way to make mom jeans even more embarrassing. Clear knee mom jeans. You can see what theyve done is added a clear plastic patch to the jeans to create windows for your knees. This is a real thing. You can buy these at nordstrom for 95. I feel like nordstrom did this just to drive ivanka trump nuts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy show those again. Perfect for when you want to throw on a pair of jeans but also want a rectangular sunburn on your knees. This is the sort of idea that would get you laughed off of shark tank, right . I dont know if you heard, week. Whos been in a radio shack this month . Okay, thats why. [ laughter ] this is the second time they filed chapter 11 in the past few years. I dont understand this at all. How could they go what did they do with all the money i spent on aaa batteries nine years ago . Even the name radio shack is outdated. I mean, its not so different from going to a store called the fax machine hut. [ laughter ] [ applause ] radio shack isnt ready to pull that universal ac adapter out of the wall just yet. First they tried teaming with sprint to open cobranded outlets. Now theyre bringing in other partners too. The shack is back. And even better than ever. Now were partnering with Dunkin Donuts and petco and subway and walgreens, also hardware, pizza hut, papa johns, bed bath and beyond, and victorias selection. For the best selection of coaxial cables, mufflers, cheeds balls, vicodin, hammers, flipflops, sexy lingerie and tires. Radio shack. Please come in here. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy is everyone adjusting to Daylight Saving time okay . Last night i went home, the sun was shining are it was weird. I did have an extra hour to harvest my crops, which was nice. I actually spent the extra hour resetting all the clocks in my house and the car. Charging this clock thing is something almost no one is good at. So as a public service, my cousin mickey who is not the most techsavvy person in the world volunteered to show us how to do it. Before you see this, i want you to know this is not scripted, mickey was given no instruction in advance. Yes, to answer your question before you yask, yes, she reall is like this. Hi, im mickey and im going to show you how to change your clocks on your microwave. Here you go. Okay. Theres a lot of s here. So we have to kind of concentrate. Start with something that says time. And then you you start the time. I think the time is about 1 30. [ microwave running ] wait, no. Okay. All right. Power. Time. 1 30. Add clock start. [ microwave running ] all right. This doesnt say 1 30 so lets try it again. 2 30. Time. Enter. Yeah, you did it. Oh, yeah how did i do it, what the hell . [ applause ] jimmy sometimes its better to just wait until november. Hey, we have a great show tonight. Chef Thomas Keller is here. From the mix, sofia black delia is here. Be right back with dax shepard so stick around alright, hows this for a tv show. Sous chef. Lawyer by day, prepcook by night. Also, his name is sous. No. Sloppy joseph. A middleaged man whos trying to get his life together, but he cant hes to sloppy. Huhhh no here you go. I got this. I get cash back so its like everythings on sale. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Everythings on sale a Home Shopping show takes place on a sailboat. Thats the one banana boat dessert on me. Look at you being all lactose tolerant. Its more than cash back. Nobody does unlimited like tmobile. While the other guys gouge r unlimited data. Tmobile one save you hundreds a year. Right now get two lines of data for 100 dollars. With taxes and fees included. Thats right 2 unlimited lines for just 100 bucks. All in. And right now, pair up those two lines with two free Samsung Galaxy s7 when you switch. Yup free. So switch and save hundreds when you go all unlimited with tmobile. Only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. We be way too fly,e team bout to take flight donknow what u been told it takes two just like hot and cold it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it outta sight i heard superheroes read chucks norris comics. D you. I heard at night, the boogeyman checks under the bed for chuck. I heard cats say they have chucklike reflexes. Do you think hes still got it . I bet you a buck he catches this salt shaker. Youre on hey chuck you owe me a buck. You cant always see whats coming but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an innetwork doctor thats close to home is easy. So what happened . I had lunch with chuck norris. Unitedhealthcare. Goodnessknows invited people who have always wanted to create a jingle, to try. Full disclosure everybody, i am not a good singer. singing goodnessknows, goodnessknows, so much flavor i can feel it in my toes every try is a step to being your best. singing try a little goodness. Theres work to be done. Its not going to be easy but theres grit inside of you. And if you need extra motivation the grad fund at Strayer University can help push you forward. Because up to your last year of classes could be on us. Thats right. On us. Today is the day. Strayer university. Lets get it, america. Jimmy hi there, welcome back. Tonight, from the mick which is a Television Show on fox, sofia black delia is here. He is one of the alltime greats Thomas Keller is here to make a carrot. Hes going to show us how to prepare a carrot. Not just any carrot, a gold medalwinning carrot. Tomorrow night, who will be here tomorrow night . Tomorrow night, Matthew Perry will be here, michael pena will join us, and music from paul shaffer with jenny lewis and shaggy. And then thursday, tim allen, dj khaled, and music from the mighty mighty bosstones, led by our announcer, dicky barrett. [ cheers and applause ] the mighty mighty bosstones have a new song called eed what th world needs now is love. And if we dont get it, dicky will hit you over the head with a beer bottle. Our first guest is a man who is also a writer, producer, director and star of an intentionally funny new movie based on an unintentionally funny tv show. Chips, it opens in theaters march 24s. Please welcome dax shepard pip jimmy wu, look at you. I was thinking the same thing. Watching your monologue. Im when always blown away with how much betterlooking you keep getting. Well, thank you. Look at you, youre dressed up, youre a director now, youre a movie star. Thats what im trying to exude is director. Youre exuding it, you got some of it on me. Good, good. Jimmy im very proud of you. When we met you didnt have a whole lot going on, am i correct . No, no, i dont think i had furniture in my house. Youre the type of guy whos so generous and i have gone to your house a few times. Youre like, hey, i can come over to your house. Im like, theres nowhere to sit but love to have you come by. Jimmy we laid on the formica. We played scrabble, you dont need a bunch of furniture. Jimmy wooden tiles and a floor. Youve been working on this a long time. Probably 2 1 2 years. Jimmy what a thing to be able to first of all write the movie as its own thing. Then to say, i want to direct this movie, im going to star in this movie, and it turned out great. Thank you. Jimmy its a bigbudget take on a Television Show we love. We love, we hate, we love. Jimmy i dont know if we hate it. No. Jimmy my memory of chips is cleto, our band leader, would stay at my house, i was living in arizona, hed stay out late and hed get high. [ laughter ] then i would find him fully clothed, passed out with chips blaring on the tv. Can you play that song still . Jimmy it wasnt even a lick. He wasnt a fan as much. Jimmy was this a show that you loved . What i loved is all those shows where a vehicle was the star. Jimmy yeah. Like, you know, dukes of hazard, starsky and hutch, fall guy. Jimmy ateam was like that. The van was popular as barakus. This show was moilks. And i was i was in detroit which was gray and crappie. This was california and sunshine and all that. I was writing another screenplay and making a poncherello joke and i couldnt spell it. This picture popped up on google of john and ponch but they looked cool and tough, which i hadnt seen them look in a while. And i was like, wow, theres a bad boys version of this movie to be made, a cool lethal weapon. Jimmy based solely on that photograph . Based solely on that photograph, its a powerful image. Jimmy i bet, it really is. It is. I dont know how i got them to let me do it but then they let me do it. Im basically writing on penas coattails, michael pena. Jimmy hes a funny guy. Not just in the movie. He seems to be a funny character on his own. Yes, he is. Jimmy hell be here tomorrow. Yes, hes very interesting. Yeah, you dig a little deep, things start coming out, you know. Its really great. Jimmy what things came out when you dug into him . Anything you can share with us . Yeah, sure. He was apparently he got like sick in the state in some running competition in illinois. Hes a shorter latino gentleman. Jimmy wow, really . Theres a lot of athletic dudes in illinois if you catch my drift. Chicago. Jimmy yeah. Chicago. Jimmy its a big state. He got sick somehow in the state. Jimmy so dont race him. He was a wrestler and a boxer. Jimmy really . Yes, hes all these amazing things. Jimmy are you sure he did all those things . And hei was dyslexic and i graduated, those myrrh accomplishments. Jimmy maybe hes a good liar. He very well may be a great liar, hes a great actor. Jimmy you love motorcycles, you love vehicles of all time. As you know. Jimmy you decided, something i am against in general, to do your own stunts. Thats right. Jimmy it looks great. Its thought one of those weird things where its suddenly like some other guy on the deal. But its dangerous and it seems like i dont know, it seems i wouldnt want my star doing the things that you did. A director would normally not want his star to do that, but i was the director too. Jimmy yeah. I would go have a conversation with myself. You think you got this . Yeah, i believe you can do it, lets do do this you know, a lot of people will say, oh this movie was a dream. Right . Like, it was always my dream to play a guy with aids or whatever. [ laughter ] jimmy thats your dream too . No, no. I assume tom hanks was telling people that when he did philadelphia. This is what you do. This was a literal dream. I would ride by the cops we had closing down the traffic for us and i would right by a cop and the cop would be like [ laughter ] and id circle back around, theyd be highfiving. As a 12yearold, your total dream is that the cops will salute you for driving like an idiot. Jimmy oh, yes. You will never get a ticket in this city again. No well i dont know. Either way. Like and be like, cute movie, real cute. You dont like the uniforms . You made fun of the uniforms . You think we look like u. P. S. . Jimmy i feel like when ponch and john came on the scene it made being a california Highway Patrol officer for sure. Jimmy very cool. I would imagine these guys got a lot of action out of fit you know what im saying. Particularly poncherello, estrada. That guy was living the good life is my understanding. Jimmy do you know that for a fact . Yeah, i certainly met a ton of people during the movie that knew erika in his prime i called him erika. Erik estrada. Jimmy did something happen we dont know about . [ laughter ] erika and i got thats what i call him, we got so close. Yeah, i think he was at studio 54 every weekend and stuff. Jimmy yeah, i feel like he would have been anyway. Women would have been crawling all over he was gorgeous. What people forget because were super old, he was 25. To us he looked older. He was a 25yearold kid. He had the greatest buns in the business. He drove women crazy with those cupcakes. Did he really . Yeah, then hed run into studio 54. Pop those things around. [ laughter ] then he had three, four gals back in whatever was the popular hotel. Jimmy speaking of buns, when we come back well get a chance to see something weve not seen on this program before, dax naked when we return. Dax shepard is here [ cheers and applause ] portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by guinness. Visit airbnb. Com guinness this week for a chance to stay overnight at the Guinness Storehouse in dublin. Discover italys lighter side, at olive garden with new tastes of the mediterranean recipes that put a fresh spin on traditional italian made with simple, wholesome ingredients inspired by italys mediterranean coast. Indulge in italys lighter side at olive garden. Ive been blind since birth. I go through periods where its hard to sleep at night, and stay awake during the day. Learn about non24 by calling 8448442424. Or visit my24info. Com. Then youre a couple. Think of all youll share. Like snoring. Does your bed do that . The dual adjustability of a sleep number bed allows you each to choose the firmness and comfort you want. So every couple can get the best sleep ever. Does your bed do that . Right now, find queen mattresses starting at just 899. Plus, free Home Delivery on select mattresses. Ends sunday only at a sleep number store or sleepnumber. Com youre going to drag me there, youre going to have to lift me into the tub, just grab me and get it over with. Fine, fine. Oh, ow god, youre hurting me, man. You said get it over with, come on im not going to argue semantics oh oh my god you break anything . No. Hey, man. Dy did i feel you into my pubic bone . No, no, there was no contact. Are you sure . Because i could have swore i felt either your nose or your lips. Nothing touched, bro, nothing touched. Might have been like like a little bit of contact. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] Jimmy Michael pena and dax shepard in chips. You were obviously completely naked in that scene. I was. Well, i had a satiny bag over my penis. Jimmy who provides that bag . Amazon . Crown royal. Jimmy oh, really . No, i dont know. It looked like a fleshcolored crown royal bag. Like if you bought the really expensive crown royal. Human skin, yeah. Jimmy youre naked. But a lot of actors are naked, we see it all the time. But youre also directing the movie while youre naked. Its a potential issue with hr. [ laughter ] Sexual Harassment suits. Because im the boss. And im telli your face in there youve got to really slam it sell it and when we that was day two of filming. So pena and i did not really know each other. Nor did i know most of the crew that was shooting the movie. So the first couple of scenes i would have a robe id put on in between to be respectful. Then i kind of lost track of that robe. Like a good six hours went by and i was just bare naked. And that was that. But i did as a courtesy, the one nice thing i did is i wore a merkin. You know what a merkin its a pubic wig they had in brothel in the old west. Jimmy why did you have that . Because i collect brothel items from the old west. [ laughter ] no, because i wanted there to be some barrier between his face and my shaft. [ laughter ] the base of my jimmy thats very considerate. I think actors talk to other actors and theyre going to want to work with you as a director after hearing that. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I started with the boundaries conversation. Yes, he does. Jimmy that beard is a glueon. He just pulls it off and puts it right there. They talk about the scene in his trailer and then schindlers list. Its a recipe for an academy award. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i didnt know that. On the dvd extras i guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy congratulations on the movie. Go see it, chips opens march 24th. Docks sh dax shepard, everybody well be right back. N now. I dont want to pry. Dad. But have you made a decision . Im going with the 1000 in cash back. My son. A cash man. Dad, are you crying . Nah, just something in my eye. The volkswagen 3 and easy event. Where you can choose one of three easy ways to get a 1000 offer. Hurry in to your volkswagen dealer now and you can get 1000 as an apr bonus, a lease bonus, or cash back. Have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol® ill have that goat cheese garden salad. That gentleman got the last one. Sir, you give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Sold. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Yes, but it has to be a comedy. A little cash back on the side. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Throw. Its more than cash back. Its backed by the service and security of American Express. Its more than cash back. Go to mcdonalds and get 1 any size coffee or 2 small specialty beverage. And, every 6th mccafe beverage is free with our app. Wake up and win the day. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. No, this is double espresso. Hodor hodor ehhh, hodor. You guys watch game of thrones, right . Inconceivable surely, you cant be serious. I am serious. And dont call me shirley . Stream all your entertainment. Introducing at ts new unlimited data plans. Plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. vo they say glory awaits but what about the start . The strength it takes to begin, and sometimes begin again. You just gave birth to another human. Talk about a comeback. distant cheering and clapping continues get your start with under armour, now at kohls. Because when it comes to great tasting water. Fill quickly and pour immediately, for great tasting water. Fast. New brita stream. Jimmy we are back. This is my cousin sal. This is my real cousin sal. Ive known him since he was born. Sal is whats the word im looking for . Genius . Jimmy no, crazy. Sal came to me with an idea, a terrible but bold idea that is now being enabled by doritos. This is the idea. A check for 25,000 will go to whoever fills out the winningest basketball bracket tournament. Sal is throwing in an extra prize if you fill out a perfect bracket, if every pick is correct, they will get what, cousin sal . They will get my house. Jimmy this is not a joke. This is not a thing where we make it seem like its his house. This is sals house. Where his wife and his three for now. Jimmy how did your wife react . She cried. She cried. Jimmy unfortunately we did not get those tears on video. But we did get our aunt chippys thoughts on tape. How did that go . Shes always so supportive, youll see. Whats the matter with you . Are you [ bleep ] crazy . Why, whats wrong . Whats the matter with you . Nothing how do you damn bet your house . You want to be a main yak, you be a maniac on yourself. Is it paid off . Its not paid off. Okay, then its not yours, its the banks. Id have to pay it off if someone else wins. Have a chip, chip. This is a bold move, you have to admit, its a bold move. What do you want from me . I wanted your blessing but its hard to come by. God bless you. God bless you 100,000 times that nobody should win. Thank you, aunt chippy. I knew youd understand. I love you. Son of a bitch. One more chip. You know, i theyre going to put you in a nuthouse. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youll end up living in my basement. This is cousin sals worst idea ever. And heres how you can be a part of it. Dicky make your bold choice now and fill out a bracket at cousin sal bets the house. Com. Doritos. For the bold. Be right back with sofia black delia get out of here. [crunch] yeah [laughter] [crunch] pay stubs and Bank Statements to refinance your home. 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Five. cheering and applause and that is all the microphones that i have. vo unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just 45 per line. So this year, theyre getting a whole lot more. Box 365, the calendar. Everyone knows my paperless, safe driver, and multicar discounts, but theyre about to see a whole new side of me. Heck, i can get you over 600 in savings. Chop, chop. Do i look like ive been hurt before . Because ive been hurt before. Um, actually your session is up. Hang on. I call this next one junior year abroad. Um, actually your session is up. Does your makeup remover every kissproof,ff . Cryproof, stayproof look . Neutrogena® makeup remover does. It erases 99 of your most stubborn makeup with one towelette. Need any more proof than that . Neutrogena. Jimmy hi, there, welcome back to the show. Still to come, chef Thomas Keller. Our next guest split her senior year between high school and playing an unwed mother on all my children. She plays a spoiled rich kid named sabrina in the mick. Watch it tuesdays on fox. Please welcome sofia blackdelia. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Jimmy i was told youre very nervous. Im so nervous. Jimmy theres no reason for nervous. Oh my gosh. Jimmy look at this way, its a couple of chairs and a piece of wood. Then these people. A lot of people. Jimmy and millions of other people. [ cheers and applause ] thats all it is. Jimmy you dont seem nervous at all. I dont . Jimmy i want to mention your name. Your last name, bralackdelia, is weird. Jimmy similar to the black dahlia, a famous unsolved murder case in the 40s. People remind me of that often. Jimmy i imagine you hear that. Pretty much every day. At the airport. Thats the black dahlia. Jimmy have you been hyphenated for your whole life . For my whole life, yeah. Jimmy its always been that way . My moms last name is black, my dads last name is delia, my mom is like, i want ownership of you too. Jimmy your dad is an attorney. Hes a judge now. Jimmy a judge, thats right. You took a picture of your dad. There it is. Jim or an 80s tv show or something. Thats his audition for the sopranos. Jimmy that is a great photograph just to start with. I will say i would never want to go in front of this guy in court. Hes scary, right . Imagine him being your dad. [ laughter ] its worse. Jimmy is he a scary dad in general . Hes kind of a scary person to everyone. My friends call him uncle tone. Hes like sicilian jersey. Jimmy i gotcha. How long has he been a judge . Just under a year. Jimmy do you ever go and see him rule . I have, yeah. But he embarrassed me badly last time so i dont want to go back. Jimmy what did he do to you . Hes in family court, serious sad stuff. I was sitting this the front of the court and he was like, really quick before we move on i just want everybody to know its court mandated, tuesdays 8 30, you watch the mick on fox, theres my daughter sofia. And everybody was like, are you kidding me right now . Like im here to get chi have to watch a family comedy . Jimmy hes supporting his child too. Thats right. Jimmy Child Support of a different kind. Exactly. Jimmy yeah, wow. He seems like a character, your dad. He is the ultimate character. Jimmy he is, really. Give us one good, one story you tell about your dad that encapsulates him. My dads a big prankster. Jimmy okay, great quality in a judge. [ laughter ] great quality in a judge and a dad. He used to do this thing with my mom when i first started driving, he would leave my car like five blocks away, then tell me to stay at a friends house a few hours too late and be like, i dont know, i think we shouldnt have gotten her that license. As if i died in a car accident. Mom is like, thats too far. Jimmy i see why your mother wanted ownership, yes. [ laughter ] thats right. She was like, i dont want people to think that youre only his kid, hes kind of a nightmare. Jimmy can you get away with anything when you have a trial lawyer as your dad growing up . Yeah. Genes, of course. Thats right. Jimmy youre going to outwit him in some way. I look at everything as, can i get away with all of this . Then i think about him telling me the legality of things. Jimmy i would imagine explain to your dad, a dark sense of humor that they appreciate your Television Show. Because its kind of a raunchy show, for lack of a better term. They love it. This is the first thing ive done that i think never my family actually really likes. Did they tell you when they dont like stuff . Yeah. Jimmy oh, really . They do now. My cousin tanky. Jimmy what . I dont know what his real name isry i call him tanky. Hey, cuz, its tank. I want to say, thanks for being on a show i can finally watch. Jimmy tanky is very critical . For a man named tanky. Thats right, thats right. Yeah, hes like, they all find this really funny, its their sense of humor, i think theyre happy im on something they dont have to begrudging watch. Jimmy all my children . Tanky was not into all my children, no. Jimmy how old were you when you were doing all my children . I was a senior in high school. I was working at tcby at the time so i got to quit. Jimmy about you do in it dramatic fashion . Definitely, threw ice cream everywhere and just left. I was like, im making a lot of money now, bye it was great. Reporter . Jimmy right, why. Thats yogurt, tcby . The countrys best yogurt. Jimmy is that what it stands for . Wow. Im so happy i came, jimmy. Jimmy i learned something. [ cheers and applause ] did you know that arbys is rb for roast beef . Yeah. No, i had no idea. Jimmy were learning from each other. Congratulations on the show. Thank you. Jimmy and not having to work at the yogurt shop anymore. It feels really good. Im in the Upper Echelon you want to plug for your father . Since he is plugging you at work it seems like if you have issues with getting your Child Support and you are in the jersey city vicinity, go to the judge delia. Jimmy dont take matters into your own hands, take them to court. The mick airs tuesday nights at 8 30 on fox. Sofia blackdelia, everybody be right back with chef Thomas Keller. Jimmy hi, there. Welcome back. Our next guest is a multiplejames beard award winner and the only American Chef to have simultaneous threestar michelin ratings for two different restaurants. Its a big deal, ill have him explain it. Fresh from his win at the culinary olympics, please welcome chef Thomas Keller. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, welcome, come on up. This is the guy i was just talking about. Michelin star thing i think is confusing for most people because we know michelin as a tire company, the michelin man. Michelin started their guide jimmy guide to the rounds. The purpose was to get people to travel. To great restaurants and great hotels. Jimmy then they give out stars or a half a star or some certain amount of stars they only give outside full stars. One, two or three, three being the highest. To give you perspective, there are six threestar restaurants in new york. I think there are five now in california. Jimmy and you two in chicago. Jimmy you have two twostar restaurants . Yeah. Jimmy, im blessed. [ cheers and applause ] i have one in new york. And of course here in napa valley. Jimmy then you represented the United States. Whats the name of the competition . The competition is bocuse d or. 20 countries compete around the world every year in lyon, france. Jimmy United States had never won before . We won silver in 2015, never placed at the top of the voting, which is gold. Jimmy congratulations. Thank you. It was a just for the team but i think for the United States. Jimmy donald trump said we were going to start winning and winning and winning and it turned out hes right. [ cheers and applause ] hes started with this. There you go. Jimmy okay, so you made this big, beautiful platter as part of this competition. And youve recreated that here for us. We have. Youll get to see it a little later. So this, what were going to try to do is do one of the garnishes. Theres a total of four garnishes on this platter. Jimmy who decided that a carrot would be the thing that you would make . We look the at our garden across the street. We grow a lot of great carrots. We wanted to bring something from napa valley to lyon, france. We thought the carrot would be something that was beautiful. Jimmy do you check the carrots or carry those on . [ laughter ] we have to smuggle them in. Jimmy my goodness. We dont want to get caught. Jimmy i dont want to ask where you smuggled them. [ laughter ] we dont have much time, i want to get you to work. So were going to actually turn the carrot. So this is much like a pencil sharpener. Youve used a pencil sharpener . Jimmy i have, yes. Follow me, go ahead. Push the carrot in. Jimmy big end . Right. Put it back in the machine. Turn it on. Take your pencil sharpener, or your carrot sharpener. Right there, okay. Jimmy look at that, thats beautiful just so start with. You made this thing . Push it, push it. That it . Turn it off. Take the carrot out. Jimmy look how pointy. Pretty good. Okay, all right. Take that out. We dont have much time. Jimmy okay. The clock. Jimmy i cant get it out. Thats it. Okay. So now put it on your board. Jimmy got it. Put it straight across. Take our knife. Were cutting it to create a channel that were going to remove and then were going to fill it with a sauce. Okay . Jimmy okay. That sauce is called a sauce with sweet well fill that with that cavity. Jimmy there should be a tool for this, like melon baller. Some kind of carrot channeler. Youve got your carrot channeled out. Jimmy that would be a good sh show, the carrot channeler. Thats good. We channel our carrot, then cook them with some of the carrot liquids to give it some more flavor. We compress it in a bag. Cook that. Theyre all cooked. Okay, all right. We skipped the cooking part, all right. We dont have we dont have the time. Jimmy this is available for eating . This is available for eating. Jimmy okay, all right. We filled it as you can see, done that very cleverly. Were going to trim it off. Right along there. Okay . Jimmy got it. What is this . This is the sauce . That is the onion sauce. You can eat that as well. Its all edible. We glaze it. Take our carrot on our fork, put in our glazing liquid. Youve got a beautiful, shiny glaze on top of it. Jimmy where do we make it. Jimmy oh. We make it. Jimmy look how much better i was doing that. [ laughter ] really good. So then we have our carrot. Well pull out our third carrot from underneath. Jimmy maybe ill get a trophy. Now were going to make this may be the hardest part of the whole segment. Jimmy okay, all right. Or the hardest part of your entire life. Jimmy possibly, yeah. Youve got your tool, youve got your carrot on top of, thats okay. Were going to take our this is pretzel. This is pretzel dough. Were going to begin our coronet. Take our coronet, got a flat part on it. Jimmy yes. Try not to pick up the whole tray. Just one. Jimmy i go 110 . Just one, just one. Find that little seam. Take this. Jimmy this is pretzel dough, huh . Feel that seam on there . Jimmy i feel it. Take it, indent on it that. Just start wrapping it around. Jimmy no ones ever going to do this, right . At the end of it, all you have is the little carrot. All you have is a carrot thats wrapped in a pretzel thats worth gold. Jimmy i cant do it. Yes, you can. We take that. Put that in the oven. Did you get it ready . Jimmy i moistened it a little bit. It goes in the oven. Jimmy what . All right, yeah. I got one. Jimmy wow, look what i did, everybody look how perfect mine is [ cheers and applause ] okay, you got that. Take our tool off. Theres a flat spot on it. That flat spot has to go on the bottom of the carrot so that it can still maintain jimmy oh, thread it in. Right there you go. Thread that right in there. Jimmy okay. We got our coil wrapped around the carrot. Jimmy look how adorable that isnt that perfect . I brought you some nourishment. Jimmy oh look, team usa. Take our carrot rounds which come from our garden. Start to garnish that. Slightly on there, on there. One there maybe. Jimmy the show ended like four minutes ago. Im sorry. [ laughter ] then water increase. Jimmy nightline is on right now. [ laughter ] im just trying to keep it moving along here so we can get this done. Jimmy this looks filling too, you know . Laugh laugh. You cant eat too many of this. Jimmy oh, honey, what did you make for dinner tonight . We have our carrot. Jimmy i spent four hours on this carrot. [ laughter ] beautiful. Jimmy wow. And look at how beautiful mine turned out too. [ cheers and applause ] weve got to see the platter. Bring out the platter. Team usa the champions wow. [ cheers and applause ] gentlemen, youve represented our nation well. Youve conquered all these other stupid nations. Finally we beat them thanks to you. That is something beautiful. What is this up here . Its the chicken. Thats chicken . Braised in veal sauce. This is our coach. Jimmy nice job, coach. Who won silver. Jimmy you won the silver . Our candidate matthew peters. Jimmy matthew, congratulations to you. Congratulations to you. Oh, what is this . This is our team scarf. Jimmy the team scarf, oh, thank you, wow. [ cheers and applause ] chef Thomas Keller you can experience his cuisine in your own mouth at the bocuse d or. Thank you, chef. Thank you, teammates. Apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time for him. Nig watching, good night this is nightline. Tonight, the new underground railroad. Immigrants fleeing the United States for canada. Risking it all. Some people have lost their fingers and limbs to frostbite. Seeking compassion and asylum from our northern neighbors. Could they be wearing out their welcome . Theyre getting more than i do as a canadian whos contributed to this country for 40 years. Plus, in the florida swamp lands, two men on an elusive mission. Hey, are you hearing something this way . To track down the legendary skunk ape. Were on the hunt in some unforgiving terrain. We go out in the green swamp and we put our lives on the line. Dodging deadly predators along the way. And feud. The hit series reenacting the