You, you fIlthy people. I know what youre thInkIng. Happy wednesday, everyone. ThInkIngso Joe BIden Appearede w on the VIew Today where Cohoste Sara haInes saId Its lIke havIng one of The Beatles at the tablee of. True I true. If youre talkIng about georgere or john, Its not more lIke yoko. Kamala harrIs wIll vIsIt the southern border on frIday. St she saId shes lookIng forward to fInally meetIng justIn shu. Ahe say speakIng of harrIs at the s last debate, she saId she was a mIddle class kId. Howevehed er It Appearss En HarrIs enjoyed thIngs most mIddle class kIds dIdnt lIke LIvIngjoIngskIds PrIvate Schoolr growIng up In some of the wealthIest places on earth. Jo the only thIng she dIdnt enjoy was a nanny. UnlIkeanI. Her husband, wrong way. Or that was a long way for a cheap joke. Youre welcome, amerIca. New Cdc Data shows. That us ObesIty Rates have fallen for the fIrst tIme even for. But just lIke the crIme statIstIcs, the cdc left out the cItIes new orleans, Los Angeles and the vIew
With harold Ford Jr. Jesse watters, jillian Turnerd G and greg gutfeld. Gits 5 00 in new York City and this is the five. Please welcome kamalaand appl harris. Can you canause you . Yeah. Can you feel it . Can you feel the Joy F in here . I can. Oh, lord, help us. Sit D Kamala Harris getting this softball. Wit downow the century with oprh winfrey, the Media Mogula hosting a star studded Town Hall for the Vice President , inviting bunch of fawning alist celebrities to kiss her. Ing ali but and act like theyre so excited. Hell act o, president harris. Not, pr yet. 47 day, 27 days. Yes. A fanlWays been of camelot. Everybody is so energized in this campaignkamala. To beau, wonderful kamala harris. Ful, w but all that Hollywood Glamon M hernt Save Kamala Fro being her usual Train Wreck self. Harris painfully Throughambled T the simplest questions about the economy and the thhe. One it even forceD Oprah at one P Point to swoop in, bail her out. Yours is a a story i hear a around the country a
Right. Okay. I guess thatll do it. Welc its friday so you know what that means. Lets welcome tonightome tonig. Hes so bland, hes getting sued by Rice Cakesy , cohostd of fox and friends. First, todd pyro. Hes a lawyer named trustee, which is like a cop named frisky, former Trump Attorney a and doj prosecutor Jim Trusttty if you dont buy her new book,a shell have to learn how to cook your ties. Ws bestselling Author And Fox News Contributor can tell hes stronger than gravity and puts up with my depravity. New york times best yet. Yes. All right. Before we get to some new stories, lets d o this. Gregs gregs leftovers. Do number up. But above all right, whe its leftoversre i. Week. I read the jokes. We did news this week. And as always,an its my firsty time reading them, so they. Will bake Joe Mackey into a giant cake and send it to Brian Stelter. Now, the Movie Beetlejuiceetj opens in theaters today. Its aboutui a dead guy who wano to return to the world of the living. And thats a plot t
I doubt that. I know. Ha ha ha. I, i feel the same way about me. Happy wednesday, everyone. Oh, boy. Brian stelter returning to cnn. The network also announced also will be cafeteria open 24 hours a day. Cnn claims that stelters hiring is a bold Move Mov to increase their Workplace Diversity by adding a potato. Ry and who better to cover Joe Bidens last days than a vegetable . You know, brian claimed that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to him. Even better than getting married, having kids or when wendys created the baconatohar in sandwich. Fun fact, after Being Firedhe ,stelter said he had moved to a Horse Farm, but nowre that finished eating, hes ready to return to work. Cnn staffers expressed little pleasure in stelters return, but many were hopeful that this time around hE Gets his own bathroomrn. T stelter will once again publish a reliable sources newsletter, but also get his own streaming service. Cnn plus size never over, but cnn and Brian Stelter are a perf
I know. I know. I. All right. Yes, i know. I ve bee wn working out. That it s friday, so you know what that means. Let s welcome tonight ms. He looks like the guy who stolej your underwear in fifth grade. Comedian jim naughtoimn. The only thing that can him is that very powerful magnet, fox news contributor. Johnny, joeyg , joe june. A baby shower and hopefully a nice hot bath. New york times best selling hot contributor gets it. And a goodyear tire wasd ear his teethingti ring. New york times best selling author, comedian for random. I need to take a break. Okay. S. We get to some news stories. Let s do this. Greg s leftovers. Lmm. All right, so these are thekes leftovers where i read the jokes that we didn t we use this week. And as always, it s my first time reading them, so theyre am skin. Joe mackey running around in maple sirup and feed him to fire ants. White but why? look how wide i am i compare d to my makeup than white. A long time boss. I knowa long t. So this week the tsa