Change into my pajamas and when i come out of my room, i see that he has left his wallet. So i call him. He comes back to get it. I step out onto the porch with no shoes, in my pajamas. And instead of walking to the end of the porch and down the stairs, i just reach over the side of the porch to give him his wallet back. So, he rides up on his bicycle and just lets his bicycle fall and then reaches up to get his wallet now, at that moment, im reaching down and hes reaching up, a cop car pulls up, flashes its lights the cop gets out, and shes like, hold it right there we gotcha. Im like, okay now, everything she says to us she says with her hand on her gun. Now, im terrified, because while im a black lady, anthony is a black man, and this cop is a tiny, little white lady. Now, im scared. Anthonys scared ive had a lot of runins with the cops at this point and isnt it hilarious that when people say runins with the cops, they mean they got caught doing something . But when i say it, i just
Everyone who thought this would hes like an old timer working a Vice President mike pence to be over easy shift at the Park Slope Food click or call for a quote today. Reduce the risk of both them coop dealing with snooty catching the coronavirus ian morgan wrote that joke newcomers. It looks like somebody over lets put him in the key excuse me, there is no more there finally read the organic arugula. You can tweet ian if you want to oh my word you have to make your fancy its so cheesy, youll need a pick up line to go with it. Constitution and figured out who was third in line. Tell him to [ bleep ] off. Like, did it hurt. Salads with regular arugula. Imagine that when all that cheese fell from heaven and landed on you . Infectious disease expert how will the universe survive . Dr. Anthony fauci said in an according to a new study, we need those kinds of major coronavirus can be transmitted changes to deal with the broken its not delivery. Through airborne fecal matter. Its digiorno. N
Finally i read that abc is working on a new version of the bachelor for the elderly [ light laughter ] im not sure its necessary. Theres already a place where old people can meet. Its called the democratic debates. We have a great show give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Supertalented show. One of my favorite guys, nick jonas is here oh, i love nick jonas. [ cheers and applause teve a delight. Jimmy hes awesome steve man is a delight jimmy love that guy. Also, one of the funniest people out there i love him, too. Steve coogan is here steve come on. [ cheers and applause jimmy good movie hes really good and we have a great were so lucky we get to have broadway performances because were here in new york and broadways right down the street and theyre so talented we have a performance from the new Broadway Musical featuring the music of bob dylan girl from the North Country is here tonight. [ cheers and applause im excited
Sorry, coach. Were so bummed we cant learn how to bump, set and spike [ laughter ] the only thing we spike is heroin, coach [ laughter ] im sorry i yelled at you, coach. Basically, what we know about iowa is that Bernie Sanders won the popular vote Pete Buttigieg slightly edged him out in the delegates, thanks to obscure rules and Elizabeth Warren came in third. And the Iowa Democratic party is having trouble keeping things together in some cases, together literally. The chair of the iowa party held a press conference on monday to update the media on the results and this happened. The seats are assigned not only by the precinct chair and the precinct secretary [ crash [ laughter ] uh seth oh man, did you did you use an app for your podium, as well . [ laughter ] was the app called metaphor . [ laughter and applause and you can tell [ cheers and applause you can tell that we have moved on from iowa to New Hampshire, because it seemed like virtually every candidate showed up to greet the
President biden spoke today about the propalestinian protests on College Campuses for roughly three minutes, and then he got the hell out of there. Thank you. Mr. President , do you think the National Guard should intervene . No. Mr. President [ talking over each other ] [ light laughter ] seth man, he left that press conference the way i used to leave the kitchen when my mom asked to see my report card. [ light laughter ] no, i didnt get it. Yeah, no. My teacher is sick or something. No. [ laughter ] when asked today if he thinks the National Guard should intervene in protests on college capmuses, President Biden said, no, but yes if anyone brings their guitar to the quad. Prosecutors argue today that former President Trump should be sanctioned again for violating his gag order. Apparently he talks in his sleep. [ laughter ] [ applause ] in a new interview, former President Trump said he would accept the results of the election, quote, if everythings honest. Dude, if everything was ho