>> we were emerging from a dark winter into a hopeful spring and summer finding light in the darkness. a long, dark years. one whole year, toughest and darkest periods in this nation's history. darkest weaves ever known. greg: speech writer googled phrases with word dark in it and if we do our part if we do this together. >> if we do our part, if we do this together by july the 4th there's a good chance you, your families and friends will be tiebl get together in your backyard or in your neighborhood and have a cookout and barbecue and celebrate independence day. that doesn't mean large events. with lots of people together but it does mean, small groups will be tiebl get together on july 4th with your loved ones is a goal. with a goal a lot can happen. conditions can change. [laughter] greg: i hate to tell the old part but not no say in who is coming to your picnic day or yours. we threw tea into a harbor for fewer reasons than this anyway whole they think lasted under 25 minutes but took 50 days to prep. all of the planning and all the time for just a few minutes. like space launch no wonder staff acted like this when it was over. >> touchdown confirmed. safe on mars. [applause] [cheering] speech was short by dark me after spring break but the media was so relieved joe made it through they ate it right up. hey was is it very moving? >> i think it was very moving -- the president is very good at articulating empathy. >> president biden spent most of his first address to the nation not taking a victory lap but rallying us for the rest of the race to come. he is the guy we need right now. >> he didn't say you need me he said i need you. you can tell their collective response was also a sigh of relief i'm not saying biden is getting free ride from the media but questions will be all multiple choice but this offers a contrast remember this animal animal -- >> i have to come over and see the fake news what do you have john? let me say be quiet. quiet. qiet -- quiet. you're with cnn you're fake news. fake news which is you, you, you don't want to do anything about it. should do that -- john? i want your one sided report do you think i should do that? >> i miss that but now we have this. [inaudible conversations] come on press we're going move on. come on press. crisis at the border, sir. come on. let's go. greg: let's hope they get him back to the rest of the field trip before the bus leaves. but at least he remember the names of really important people. >> i want to thank the -- the former general i keep calling him general but my the guy who runs that outfit over there -- i want to make sure we thank the secretary for all he's done. greg: imagine him ordering at denny's the round, round things you pour the -- stuff on it, the sticky stuff listen i'm not great with names either. but how many of these things does he do a month? and if that's when he's at his best -- what's he like afterward? working media might tell us that. they aren't. working that is. like i said a contrast in style but not presidents but coverage of presidents. it is kind of oven right, joe? >> well good morning america. caught me on my monday workout. like to start the day with a thousand pushups. there we go. all right. feel the burn. let's do some one handers shall we? there we go. oh, yeah. do not try this at home. i'm a professional and my wife is a doctor. come on, man. >> all right. [laughter] and what about the white house dog? no, no, no the other white house dog. involved in an incident that resulted in a minor injury they sent it become to delaware which is biden for gone to live on a farm upstate. the previous incident occurred in the shower with joe which -- makes me wongder who brings dog into the shower. that is the question i want answered. and if it were trump before the election the press would have that answer like they have all of those answers knew about all of those meltdowns and tantrums. now it is all qiet quiet on the front what's the media doing? not much. and they aren't wearing much either. here's brian pulling porky pig. taping his show minus his pants because that would take extra four seconds you would think he would learn something but we should be grateful it wasn't an open shorty robe. but the media is used to looking stupid. look at their coverage, and immigration crisis under trump is now a daunting challenge for joe. not a crisis, a challenge. it is survivor for kids. we've asked jen about it. we've asked jen a lot of things and she never really answers. >> the reports out there that the number of unaccompany meerns tripled in last two weeks to 3200 plus is that number accurate? >> i'm not going to confirm numbers from here. >> why won't you confirm that number that's a very important number. >> we've been clear that there's an increase with more children coming across the border than we have facilities for at this point and time. those numberses are tracked by the department of homeland security so i'm suggesting you talk to them about specifics. greg: maybe she deserves a break. a spring break -- [laughter] wow. jen what a place. are you ready to go? spring break here we come. ♪ ♪ >> it is a spring break. that is actually why i invited you and this unidentified person over -- i thought we could, you know, spend it here. >> and do what? >> i thought maybe first, we could color code, and alpha my wardrobe. >> yeah. that's not exactly what i had in mind. but do some shots? >> i thought you might mention that. so that's why i got this giant bottle of vegetable juice. panama city beach or vegetable juice that's a tough choice please don't -- invite min else over i would like to keep this a -- small gathering. >> oh. don't worry about that. i wouldn't do that to my friends. >> oh. yes, i have read a lot about the friends. joey likes meatball subs and -- ross lot loves dinosaurs. [bleep] this is going to be the worst spring break. greg: , of course, joe couldn't do his first address without a swipe at trump claiming again he didn't do enough on vaccine front but we get it. the dems can't let go. thank god there's a network to deal with this obsession. >> you're waving atn all trump news because everything else is boring by comparison. >> i'm anderson lemmon with the headlines, folks in vermont got a jolt this week meteor entered earth's atmosphere the size of a bowling ball that exploded with force of over 400 pounds of tnt sources say it sounded eerie like donald trump's infamous tantrum and meltdown when is he didn't get his way. anonymous witnesses say he's a big baby who never learned decent manners or how to compassionately listen to other people. he's just a cruel heartless person out for himself. won't give them back -- daylight saving time agains this weekend, don't forget to turn your clocks ahead one hour. if only we could turn the clock back five years avoid a trump presidency i mean if there's one event that cries out for a time machine this is it right, and that's not just my opinion. scientists say that -- maybe they don't i don't know who the hell remembers. these pills are really -- and buckingham palace issued a short statement responding to harry and meghan allegations of racism. but some critics say that royal family has not condemned racism forcefully enough, it is the story the whole world is talking about, and yet president trump has remained quiet on this. why? why won't he say anything? he stays quiet then that's end of all of this. good-bye all trump news. the lights are going to go out because we can't pay the bills we're going get laid off. my five will starve and all going to be trump's fault. more headlines in 30 minutes. i'm anderson lemmon. greg: i feel better already relax just three years and nine months left until media gets become to work until then take nap try to forget who is running the country that's exactly what the guy running is doing. >> period let's welcome tonight's guests. he once produced cheers and now he's heres -- you. made me a little bit more effort -- it have writer producer rob long, he's got a pleasant face and a grizzly crawl space. host of the quiz show on fox nation, tom try to change a tire and kat timpf and a good thing he's not afraid of heights and on fox nation tyrus yeah applause, applause from an audience that will soon return at some point. yay dave rob. >> i will wow. greg: i like yell make me feel good inside what do you think of biden address did you watch it? >> i think that the chief benefit of president biden is that i don't have to watch any of these speeches. i think that is why america chose him and i think they did -- they like the idea that like they can go now months and not really think about it and we all say he's asleep takes naps all of the time doesn't do anything that is the future of the president joe biden. you can see the kind of like the old guy in like you have a christmas dinner like he's old relative sitting there and he wants to tell you a story about day he met -- you know, louie armstrong everybody is it like i don't know how to get out of this room now. look it is -- for everything there's a season for every yen there's a yang and this is very, very deeply in yang period. greg: you know what would be great. >> on at the same time. >> made me think if yang is running for mayor and against him could be -- why am i talking tom save me. what -- what do you suppose hasn't said biden answer more questions? >> they're in denial it is funny when people say that he's cognitively slipping they everyone gets offended how dare you say that that's an out i'm doing that to be nice because if not you have to say that's regular joe. you know what i mean no he's missed a step but i thought that the feature of the speech was not boredom highly offended by the speech nt you're taking any notes in your monologue i have -- i wrote down in any notes i said it is called independence day for a reason. >> greg said it. but -- the thing is it is so true greg thank you for saying that. he just not have my permission to give me permission about who i can have a barbecue with. okay. so i think we should all get out there memorial day is the target. let's have sol big parties like memorial day. >> that's what i thought so shocking. fourth of july. i am ordering just so you know, alert the cdc i'm ordering very large easter ham. [laughter] i don't care who know it is. but that's my date -- >> it is true. get me. >> it is true kat we have memorial day, people are planning on going outs on memorial day. so i mean, but you don't celebrate -- >> fourth of july i celebrate every day as a fourth of july. actually -- yeah. look, and he was talking -- he is good at at least appearing a thet but i saw things that i was upset the duty of the government to protect people. yes that's true but also to protect individual rights. which seem to be the thing you're missing and he's saying vaccination available for everyone. may first so then you can have a tylenol tiny fourth of july party? like i'm supposed to be like oh, thank you, joe. like absolutely not. i'll be drinking on the street like every other fourth of july. >> every other july -- [laughter] august, september, october. little golden december got to drink itself. >> fifth of july. >> you know, tyrus i can't believe we've gone around this group and we have not even brought up without his pangts on. >> he posted that on purpose. that wasn't a leaked shot he was like people, they like this. >> it was a leak somewhere. >> trying to become a leg model far beit for me to push upon their dreams up to him to find out it is not going happen. like to address the -- the anderson lemmon situation. the trophies are mine. you've got the cat i'm keeping trophies. settled this. please move on. [laughter] second thing there are no jokes it hurt my heart to watch that speech. because i know how awful it has when camera crew guys mess around with a tell prompter that is painful you see him squinting because must have been pulling back too far and moves it close at one point -- our president had to lean forward -- squinting to say, fourth of july. i need you. no that was all improv yes. he the script was too far away didn't use the big letters like they do for you and ones like me really small, really fast. and mine are small and go -- go, go so it wasn't that he's losing but his teleprompter guy is terrible move that up four or five feet, and we'll see that that boom, that i'm just saying come on man squinting for a reason you don't squint qhs you forget you squint when you can't read anymore. >> that's true. like he was going finish that by saying i need you to help me into the tub. [laughter] >> but i wouldn't do that? like get your own ass in the tub. >> also by the way showering with a dog is way easier way to bathe them than to actually give them a bath. >> something you know. >> in the shower that's how i clean him. >> sorry. trying to normalize weirdness. >> exactly. coming up it is more cuomo on cuomo action. it all starts with an invitation... ...to experience lexus. the invitation to lexus sales event. get 0% apr financing on the 2021 nx 300. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. so you want to make the best burger ever? get 0% apr financing on the 2021 nx 300. then make it! that means cooking day and night until you get... 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(laughter) yeah. >same placements and everything. >>unbelievable. ♪ greg: one is other sad another episode of everyone's favorite brothers -- it's the cuomos. ♪ ♪ yeah. they're the modern day with a double on goofous first gov but on friday he said let the investigation take its course. >> people know the difference between plain politics, bowing to counsel cancel culture and the truth. people know the difference between playing politics, bowing to cancel culture and the truth. let the review proceed. i'm not going to resign. i was not elected by the politicians. i was elected by the people. part of this is that i am not part of the political club. and you know what, i'm proud of it. greg: can cancel culture that's our issue at fox news how dare you all of this number of harassment accusers now can be counted on two hands if only he used his hands to count a female aid alleges andy groped her while alone in executive mansion and state reported allegation to albany police. several new york representatives say cuomo should go including jerry knadler aoc getting so bad pepe called on governor cuomo resign as well. no? [laughter] >> no that's bad when skunk -- yeah. pnches today, the governor has been accused harassment by seven different women and chris says seven racists as you know chris is not allowed to talk about his brother scandal so he gives us this instead. >> people here on the right continue to savage markle and her story something struck a nerve with them. was it a multiracial woman speaking out against an institutional white royal family? oh, no it is not about that. what is it about? >> what is it about? that's right don't believe meghan that's a racist says man who is black on the inside. >> looking out of the window -- watching the asphalt grow -- thinking how it all looks hand me down -- >> how do you know the words -- >> black on the inside. at least he kept his pants on. things may be looking up for cuomos sources say governor will release names of six women he hasn't sexually harassed. and said more families were coming. all right the thing was tom at the beginning of the show, it was going to be about how chris cuomo says stupid stuff to take the heat off ann drink. but now that's impossible. because no matter how many dumb things chris cuomo say it is gets worse for andy everything is misdirection question of to pay attention to the cuomo and cnn this other cuomo he's got his nursing home scandal and now they want to focus on the ladies when the thing is he has a real scandal that we should be paying attention to that is much worse this is why in democrats because there's about 15 or 20 governors who did what cuomo did with nursing home and covid policy and they want to pox on the women. because it takes the focus off what they did wrong. >> i think you're arguing over which massive scandal was more massive that is wrong. >> now claiming i'm an outsider. i'm not part of the political club. i was thinking as i was driving to work other the mario cuomo news this morning what outsider i am. >> he wasn't driving. [laughter] >> you know, tyrus i'm still pissed off that he's -- >> saying he was black on the inside? >> oh, no you can go with that. sphwhreg if we all have that power. boy. >> on the inside bro, let me go. [laughter] sometimes you just shouldn't. i for one i always stay same thing everyone has a right to be heard, and if he wants to fight it and the investigation as you should because you should fight it if you didn't do it but having said that, 15,000 dead people -- evidence that you're connected to it where's that investigation? like, i mean, i don't understand that other thing is bad. murder is always been worse in my book in my neighborhood maybe the black inside guy going murder is worse. but they're both terrible but i think -- you murder one person you go to jail forever. and if you're complicit in the murder of 15,000 people, that's kind of -- really bad. >> yeah. they'll argue that was a procedural error. >> covering it up isn't a procedural error. it is audacity all of the mounting number accuser after accuser it is just as a new yorker right, he has had so much control over my life -- for the past year, how many people i can have in my home to pay money to the government. how dare you have the audacity to have so much control when somebody preem saying you can't control yourself. greg: you can't touch anybody but he can touch everybody. >> i don't to touch anybody. greg: all right rob i'm going back -- i'm angry that he -- he beafngly it is cultural appropriation on fox news. cancel culture is our issue. >> i have to say as somebody white on the outside -- and very very white on the inside but you have no idea how white i am on the inside i -- argue here for the rat in a coffee can he's absolutely going nuts. but the truth of it i don't think this is -- hypocritical i think that when general the media, progressive media, think that this story of the women is actually always more interesting than covid. there are only interested in the story it doesn't matter he could have -- literally have killed you know professor plumb in the conservatory with a rope they're not interested in that at all but this is only story they cover and fascinated by and cover with politicians or individuals or anything. that's all they care about. and we that's what if you want the news i don't know where you go. but if you want to learn about this one topic you can turn on pretty much any news channel. >> so i have if i were his confidant this is how i tell him to address this he should say he's disgusted by his own behavior and he demand that he resign but he won't heed his own advice. >> i fired myself. greg: but i tell him to go. i fire myself on the inside. >> i fired myself on the inside it is all good. dealt myself internally. [laughter] greg: up next piers morgan hero or -- it's an important time to save. with priceline, you can get up to 60% off amazing hotels. and when you get a big deal... you feel like a big deal. ♪♪ priceline. every trip is a big deal. this isn't just freight. these aren't just shipments. they're promises. promises of all shapes and sizes. each with a time and a place they've been promised to be. a promise is everything to old dominion, because it means everything to you. (vo) nobody dreams in conventional thinking. it didn't get us to the moon. it doesn't ring the bell on wall street. or disrupt the status quo. t-mobile for business uses unconventional thinking to help you realize new possibilities. like our new work from anywhere solutions, so your teams can collaborate almost anywhere. plus customer experience that finds solutions in the moment. ...and first-class benefits, like 5g with every plan. network, support and value without any tradeoffs. that's t-mobile for business. 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(vo female) get 0% for 63 months on select new 2021 models. now through march 31st. ♪ ♪ live from america news head quartereds i'm marianne rafferty ron johnson under fire for saying he never felt threatened by rioters because they were, quote, patriot who is loved this country. johnson says he would have been worried if the mob were black lives matter protesters or antifa members. some krit rix calling johnson comments racist and demanding resignation five died during riot including capitol police officer. and two nasa restaurants took long stroll outside international space station earlier today mike hopkins and victor glover perform sel upgrade including lab communications and cooling systems. the duo walk lasted nearly 7 hours. it was the fifth space walk this year and the 237th since 1998. i'm marianne rafferty, now tbok the greg gutfeld show. >> hero archer. >> there's no more -- scan. this week piers morgan walked off the set of good morning britain an coworker confronted him for commentary on meghan markle. patrol it. >> i understand that you don't like meghan markle you've made it so clear a number of times on this program. a number of times you continue to trash her. >> okay i'm done request this, sorry. all right pretty good track record not mine. see you later. >> sorry, can't do it. absolutely diabolical behavior. >> might be more enjoy, some music. >> continue to trash her. sorry done with this -- ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ everything is better with music that's what dad used to say when he beat us. [laughter] still all of this started after markle interview with oprah morgan said he doesn't believe anything that come out of markle mouth and she filed a complaint with him against the network can't believe we have to know this stuff that led to confrontation with network ceo morgan quit or fired either way he says he'll be back. >> if i have to fall on my sword for expressing honestly held opinion about meghan markle, and that diatribe build she came out with in that interview so be it. >> woke crowd would have thought they canceled -- i think they'll be rather disappointed. when i reemerge. >> you know what kind of agree, i'm a pretty big hearted guy but i have trouble feeling for someone who has their own mote or face masseuse. greg: you're a woman -- >> yes. greg: therefore you must be interested like all women in stories of royalty. the desire to be a princess -- must have been an obsessive dream of yours since you were but a child. >> absolutely not. [laughter] i thought it would be horrible to be a princess. because you know, it is like that's all you are. all you do and it is like you want to do other stuff. yeah you want to do other stuff wear sweats can't do it. >> drink a beer. can't drink a beer -- >> i don't know. you can drink. royal family drinks. >> but loco -- access? >> can you wild out -- can you wild out on four loco at a frat house then 20s were not oak. look i think that's so much of this is on meghan markle on piers morgan really is fact he might be in trouble with the government because of what he said. which is crazy and jakecaper said that and was more crazy is people have backlash she said this isn't about piers morgan just the fact that it is so great we have a first amendment in this country. "newsweek" included him in an article said select who is defend piers morgan said he really had piers morgan's back like then they include later in the article that he said it is not about piers morgan where so important for you to smear this guy because he said he -- defends the first amendment in the same sentence that happens to be a guy who said something they find offensive it is insane. greg: it is also another place where race is interjected you cannot like someone wok not like someone that has nothing to do with race. >> correct. >> tyrus. >> it is royalty sometime they are close minded elitist individual and inspiring because they inspire a group of people going this sucks, let's go half way across the ocean see if it is better over there. to america -- so bsh >> by their story so concerned they almost had to make it almost on 10 million dollars. >> i couldn't afford to not pay for my security which probably meant your normal security was relieved that they could still keep their jobs. >> yeah. or already fire old security team you have because you thought you were going to have royal ones with cool hats? >> i really feel like there's a lot more going on in the country right now for us to be i'm sorry that you have to deal with racial stuff. but it's the royal family we're -- shocked. maybe there isn't a lot going on that's why. here's what i think -- i don't give a crap about england. we won the war. >> that's what i think. >> not piers morgan. language is getting strong here. >> but this weird name, not pierre -- but meghan i don't care. about tblangd -- i don't care about england. the entire country. i mean it is fine i don't -- chocolate. >> let's lots of great e like going there. i don't care about what happens. i just don't care. >> tom i want to answer your question. you asked us all hero or jerk? no one apessed -- answered it but in this case he's a hero because he didn't -- he said he didn't walk back. he says i won't quack it back and i don't know in people like, obviously, i can call him a jerk. i did right so he's sometimes jerk. she's a jerk too. i don't know why you're not allowed to call that woman meghan markle, obviously, she's a jerk. but -- meghan markle is -- only did if i'm correct because i feel like i saw what he said. he didn't like meghan markle he knows she's a jerk and -- >> but exactly not in england you legally may not be allowed. >> if she's not white -- up next more cartoons get canceled. ♪ ♪ ♪ when it comes to your financial health, just a few small steps can make a real difference. ♪ ♪ ♪ learn, save and spend with guidance from chase. confidence feels good. chase. make more of what's yours. last night's sleep, interrupted by pain? tonight, silence it with new zzzquil night pain. because pain should never get in the way of a restful night's sleep. new zzzquil night pain. silence pain, sleep soundly. struggling to manage my type 2 diabetes was knocking me out of my zone, but lowering my a1c with once-weekly ozempic® helped me get back in it. ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic® ♪ my zone? lowering my a1c and losing some weight. now, back to the show. ozempic® is proven to lower a1c. most people who took ozempic® reached an a1c under 7 ma aninand maintained it. and you may lose weight. adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. don't share needles or pens, or reuse nee don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may include pancreatitis. tell your provider about vision problems or changes. taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase low blood sugar risk. side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. once-weekly ozempic® helped me get in my type 2 diabetes zone. ask your health care provider how it can help you get in yours. ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic® ♪♪ you may pay as little as $25 for a 3-month prescription. greg: coming for your tunes the can sell tornado set sights on animation this week. disney plus overwait announce removal of several cartoons from their kids due to racist stereotype including iowa wrist and pepe and scrubbed from upcoming space jams sequel. oh space jam. announcement dropped days after a "new york times" columnist called for eradication including pepe for normalizing rape culture and speedy gonzalez for promoting harmful stereotypes and crystal meth and finally for a different kind of tunes, winston marshall the banjoist from mumford and mumford & sons tweeting support of a new book by andy he was met with such backlash i.e. on twitter now taking time away from the band. the good news is they found replacement -- ♪ ♪ i love radio ed. i know you're interested in talking about mumford & sons, backlash is people think people on twitter say bad things about you is backlash no. >> it is unbelievable saying there must not be a banjo player out there with whom they do not completely agree. they must be canceled a musician -- let's, you know, take the book out of it. right like because that's not the point the point is guys and musician they say he's insensitive so we have to quit wait until you find out about niki -- like what is happening? >> actually all of the -- if people just read about what went on in the 0u7s -- every 65-year-old rocker, and by the way where is steve march it been in all of this? he should be defending winston marshall being a fellow banjo player about are there any episodes of cheers -- that are now offensive and not just ones with bb -- wow, after the show. yes there are. but i think they somehow get grandfathered in for now although you were running out of people to sort of trash. so i mean, i understand people there's so many mumford & sons i think is like attorney general. some of them you lose 72 and there's them left. pepe i never i thought it was a slaflt french because they don't bathe so much. the guy with the french accent he's a skunk because they don't take showers. i assumed, and speed didy gonzaz let's be face a little bit racist. i get that one. he's fast. yeah. a little bit. good quality. good quality like frito bandito i have a friend gonzalez fast nothing to do with gonzalez. but i don't know. was that a stereotype. we have to decide if there's a difference between stereotypes or like national or ethnic character something that's racial and racist a different thing. >> love speedy gonzalez like this anti-scridges against mexican americans organizations fought to have him back on, and now they're doing it again. left with bland cartoon characters like you can make a white character on the inside. >> first of all, maybe we have to gi up pepe because he was kissing without permission so i guess i get it because it was a cartoon it wasn't real he also fell off a building landed on feet for love and catch up to air felt got a perfect white stripe down her back and got a skunk -- i have kids. i watch looney tunes when i was a kid and if he's got to go what's with daffy duck saying i was a lonely black ducks who gets one up andout smarted by white ass rabbit bus and one who hunts for joy of it because he's a vegetarian white man with a gun he can -- >> with the gun, the gun let's not forget yosemite sam shoot make you dance and if you can't solve your problem you have dynamite stick out. >> progressive how so? >> he mixed species -- he made love to cats exclusionively -- >> i did not know that. i think he sets up the white paint it is all part of his game he wants to cross. >> by love -- wow. kat? >> i don't know about that i spent my entire childhood playing with bugs real and rubber bugs i didn't watch it but that banjo player never should have quit. moving to weeknights and talk about the future, next. n a friday night ♪ ♪ a pair of jeans that fit just right ♪ ♪ and the radio up ♪ get 5 boneless wings for $1 with any handcrafted burger. only at applebee's. i'm a performer. always have been. and always will be. never letting anything get in my way. not the doubts, distractions, or voice in my head. and certainly not arthritis. voltaren provides powerful arthritis pain relief to help me keep moving. and it can help you too. feel the joy of movement with voltaren. ♪ ♪ ♪ when you drive this smooth, you save with allstate. the future of auto insurance is here. saving is easy when you're in good hands. allstate. click or call for a quote today. greg: saturdays have been heaven. now let's take it to 11 that's pretty good. this will be the final weekend addition of the greg gutfeld show but don't cry. because starting monday, april 5th, we are bringing you gutfeld five nights week at 11 p.m. monday through friday. you'll be able to see all of the great stuff you've been watching on saturday night for the last six years plus a lot of new great stuff like this. >> coming up on the all new gutfeld. stories you won't see anywhere else. like our three part series on septic place replacement installing one for waste disdisposal needs plus one-on-one interviews with celebrities like bruce willis no not the actor bruce willis but handsome real estate agent and you'll love our groundbreaking new segment with favorite tv personality. you tip safety with chris cuomo with love and nipple rings with andrew cuomo learning to cope with mirrors with brian, if that's not enough we have a deborah messing impersonator. a charming one-on-one with mike fell douglas and reanimate a blow fish. >> haters will all be there voting on election day. we'll discuss by this and allow to happen. you are -- well liked among the ladies. some people are calling themselves quo mow sexuals, they are obsessed with you. finally at the i end of each one one ride the wheel of death. it is all coming soon on all new gutfeld. >> so real quick, kat your are going to be there. >> i'm going to be there. anybody who was not clear on the fact i shared on twitter people are like you going to be there no like excitedly sharing this because i'm fired. [laughter] >> retweeting -- [laughter] >> without -- like why is that people got to stop carrying about twitter. >> i'm very excited and i'm very excited you know that you brought me on six years ago and changed my life i'm grateful excite i know i'm getting sappy and it is bad for my brand and grateful but also to everyone who watches the show like thank you guys for watching this show. this is gong to be awesome i'm so excited. >> tyrus. >> i'm excited of being femming from new orleans that will be great like i can leave my house and go and film every night it is geng to be -- phenomenal. but i would like to mention just like me an kat wrnlgt in the press release, live from new orleans on the screen. so i'm just -- is there did i let the cat out of the bag about us. ing out of new orleans. >> not moving to new orleans. [laughter] so i'm living out of a hotel and getting divorced and a face time dad. >> sorry all good material. [laughter] >> all good material. >> how you can mind this -- and -- is there -- i didn't hear is there a raise or anything? no. greg: we'll talk about it after the show. >> that means there's nothing. >> thank you for having me. [laughter] >> tom. you're going to be -- going to be so excited to be continuing my deborah impersonation and show goes to weeknights going to be fantastic. but yeah we're going to be -- lots of stuff. special plans for you. >> you know what i don't think it is gong to work. >> didn't you say that about first show. >> i was right on the -- >> you are undertakers of your career. when we show up it means show is over. >> right. [laughter] greg: all right we'll be right back after this. an invitation... ...to experience lexus. the invitation to lexus sales event. get 0% apr financing on the 2021 rx 350. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. i'm not hungry! get 0% apr financing on the 2021 rx 350. you're having one more bite! no! one more bite! ♪ kraft. for the win win. have you ever seen this before? she's so beautiful. janie, check this out. >come here. >>let me see. (chuckles) she looks...kind of like me. yeah. that's because it's your grandma when she was your age. oh wow. that's... that's amazing. oh and she was on the debate team. yeah, that's probably why you're the debate queen. >i'll take that. >>look at that smile. i have the same dimples as her. (laughter) yeah. >same placements and everything. >>unbelievable. so you're a small business, or a big one. you were thriving, but then... oh. ah. okay. plan, pivot. how do you bounce back? you don't, you bounce forward, with serious and reliable internet. powered by the largest gig speed network in america. but is it secure? sure it's secure. and even if the power goes down, your connection doesn't. so how do i do this? you don't do this. we do this, together. bounce forward, with comcast business. final thoughts it is the last thought that'sy call the final thought. okay. one tom what is it? >> 18th to 20*9 at the bridgeport stress factory doing stand you have live audience, the whole deal. where -- >> bridgeport, connecticut this is a national show. [laughter] >> was -- was a national show. we are going out on top by the way. we are not -- we are quitting to do a nightly show we're bad ass. all right thank you rob, tom, kat and tyrus. thank you america, i love you i'm greg gutfeld. liberty & levin." plan. [♪♪♪] jesse: welcome to "watters' world." i'm jesse watters. command and control. liberals don't want to compete with you anymore. they want to control you. it's a psychological issue we could spend weeks talking about. but it manifests in an unrelenting quest for power. conservatives understand the quest for power. you win some, you lose some. then you go back to your normal family life. democrats don't want normal lives.