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Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Kelly Clarkson joy reid musical guest, the flaming lips and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. Oh [ cheers and applause oh, thank you very much to all of you five people thank you. [ laughter ] it is friday, everybody. Thats a great reaction. That is you dont understand that is a great reaction theres only five people here. So, lets get to the news and jokes. Well guys, last night was the start of the nfl season. And i got to say, it was kind of strange to see a live sport event with fans in the crowd i was a little worried at first until i saw the crowd at the president s rally in michigan last night yikes. I need a nasal swab just from looking at that. [ laug ....
Shes very focussed on the elf. Wee av hov mtoe m night, she says where does the elf go every night. And my wife says he goes home to the north pole to tell santa what he saw. And she says how does he go all the way back there and then back here for morning. And my wifes like, magic, i guess. And then she said, am i supposed to believe everything . Things are hard to believe. In washington tonight, they are decorating the halls of congress as we celebrate impeachment eve. Tomorrow the house will vote to presumably impeach donald trump. If i worked at the white house, i would definitely call in sick tomorrow. Id be like, oh, i feel something coming on. Republicans continue to insist theres nothing illegal about the illegal things the president did. Theyre doubling down on conspiracy theories, distraction techniques. Theyre demanding to know the identity of joe bidens secret santa. Its gotten ridiculous. Yesterday the House Ju ....
They are done with it. This elf on the shelf is like the fbi watching them at all times. My daughter jane is 5 now. Shes very focussed on the elf. We have to move him around at night, she says where does the elf go every night. And my wife says he goes home to the north pole to tell santa what he saw. Am s and she says how does he go all the way back there and then back here for morning. And then she said, am i supposed to believe everything . Things are hard to believe. In washington tonight, they are decorating the halls of congress as we celebrate impeachment eve. Tomorrow the house will vote to presumably impeach donald trump. If i worked at the white house, i would definitely call in sick tomorrow. Id be like, oh, i feel something coming on. Republicans continue to insist theres nothing illegal about the illegal things the president did. Theyre doubling down on conspiracy theories, distraction techniques. Theyre demanding to know the identity of joe bidens secret santa. Its gotten ....
Jimmy thank you very muc looking good looking good out there thats great welcome to the tonight show. Give it up for the roots, everybody, right there [ cheers and applause well, you guys, the race for the democratic president ial nomination has barely started, and its already getting crazy listen to this former democratic senator mike gravel is thinking about running at 88 years old. [ light laughter ] 88 when they heard that, Bernie Sanders and joe biden were like, hey, whos the new kid . [ laughter and applause thats right we could have a 76yearold, a a 77yearold, and an 88yearold running for president. [ light laughter ] i cant wait for the debates i mean, who wouldnt be pumped about the possibility of listening to a threehour symphony of dry coughs [ laughter and applause [ coughing ] these guys shouldnt be running for president. They should be in a movie about a group of friends taking their last trip to las vegas [ light la ....