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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

I know youre actually a woman. Howhow did you find that out . How di i hired mexicans to spy on you. They saw you w working out at curves. U women cant be the boss in persian culture. Cant b nobody can know about this y can because men are all assholes. They make you feel ashamedamed for being a little big or manly looking. L but not lesbos. But not we accept other women for who they are inside. You do, seriously . Ha have you never even thought of being with anot another woman before . No, i dont even know how two women can. N make love, unless they just kind of scissor or something. Oh, yeah, scissor me, xerxis oh, yea ooh, that feels so super good. That fee narrator and so it was that les bos was saved. Ad the persians had agreed to keep it a lesbian bar, for no dyke should be without cocktails. No dyke thanks for everything, xerxis. No. Thank you, friend. Hey, arent you supposed to bey, aren Teaching School right now . Teain ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

To endorse any service or product or enterprise. Trevor that news is shocking. There are still ethics laws . I just assumed after trump became president the ostles of ethics violations got converted into a Storage Office for kfc buckets. Clearly they are prob hea like the contractors ef jea epsteins house, so you want a cage in the middle of your living room, okay, oh t is to worship sattal satan, okay, i will get a quote to you asap, in the face of ethics complaints donald trump responded by doing an even more elaborate goya ad of his own. Yes, yesterday the president released a photo of himself promoting a line of goya products from the oval office. I mean im glad the president is using his desk for probably the first time in months but come on, you have to admit, this is pretty embarrassing. He doesnt look like a president , he looks like a local athlete who retired 15 years ago and is desperate for money. This looks like the e ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

About helping people to survive the coronavirus shutdowns that have now forced them out of work. Because, remember, corona isnt just stopping you from going to the gym to take mirror selfies. Its also decimated the world economy. Now, countries have been taking different approaches to help workers during this pandemic. Many countries in europe are paying businesses to keep their employees on the payroll even during shutdowns, japan suspended most tax collection for a year. And russia is even allowing all their election bots to meddle from home. And here in the u. S. , Congress Passed a big 3 trillion relief package back in march, but with the benefits of package about to run out, congress has been struggling to put together something new. Now, democrats have been asking for another 3 trillion to extend and expand the benefits that have been helping people. And now republicans have finally responded with something a little less ge ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Dr. Fauci. So lets do this people. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor the big news today is about helping people to survive the coronavirus shutdowns that have now forced them out of work. Because, remember, corona isnt just stopping you from going to the gym to take mirror selfies. Its also decimated the world economy. Now, countries have been taking different approaches to help workers during this pandemic. Many countries in europe are paying businesses to keep their employees on the payroll even during shutdowns, japan suspended most tax collection for a year. And russia is even allowing all their election bots to meddle from home. And here in the u. S. , Congress Passed a big 3 tri ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

The daily distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor lets begin with california, home to the most george emmy voters in the nation. sup, yall . One month ago the golden state announced it was doing a good enough job at fighting the coronavirus that restaurants, stores an and other businesses could welcome customers back in. One to have the customers was coronavirus. California, the home state of nearly one out of every eight americans is making an abrupt uturn to roll back a surge in coronavirus infections. California has recorded another 110,000 cases in the last 14 days including another 8,000 yesterday. Covid 19 is not going away anytime soon. Just over one month after reopening several sectors of californias economy, governor gavin newsom is reversing course. Yesterday, ha announced gyms, churches and hair salons would be among those forced to close in 29 california counties, while bars, indoor restaurants and movie theaters ....

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