Dr. Fauci. So lets do this people. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor the big news today is about helping people to survive the coronavirus shutdowns that have now forced them out of work. Because, remember, corona isnt just stopping you from going to the gym to take mirror selfies. Its also decimated the world economy. Now, countries have been taking different approaches to help workers during this pandemic. Many countries in europe are paying businesses to keep their employees on the payroll even during shutdowns, japan suspended most tax collection for a year. And russia is even allowing all their election bots to meddle from home. And here in the u. S. , Congress Passed a big 3 trillion relief package back in march, but with the benefits of package about to run out, congress has been struggling to put together something new. Now, democrats have been asking for another 3 trillion to extend and expand the benefits that have been helping people. And now republicans have finally responded with something a little less generous. This morning, with tens of millions of americans out of work, Senate Republicans are proposing to slash emergency Unemployment Benefits by 400, a plan that would cut that extra federal payment from 600 to 200 a week, with republicans arguing additional payouts would discourage jobless americans from returning to work. In certain cases, people were paid more to stay home than they were to work, and i think thats something that the American Public understands. Were not going to use taxpayer money to pay people more to stay home. Trevor man, i know steve ventriloquist dummy, but sometimes i wish someone would shove their hand up his ass and make him say the right things. Because, look, it is true that some people have been earning more from these extra benefits than they were making at their jobs, but thats only because a lot of people in america dont make a living wage at their jobs. Like, im honestly surprised this white house is so against paying people not to work. I mean, theyve been fine doing it for the past four years. Going back to work too soon is what spreads upon coronavirus, making it harder to go back to work. So the best way to go back to work is to not go back to work. If anything, the government should be sending everyone an hbo max password and a giant bag of weed. Its the responsible thing to do. And heres the thing you can always argue about whether its good policy or bad policy to just give people money. I mean, its good policy, but you can argue about it if you feel like it. But one thing thats raising eyebrows is that while the republicans are saying they cant afford to give more money to laidoff workers, they are managing to open up their wallets for some way more questionable expenses. The bill is also coming under intense criticism for 1. 75 billion allocated for a new f. B. I. Building, something mcconnell said was included at the request of the white house. The president has called for the rebuilding of the f. B. I. Building in downtown d. C. To occur on the same plot of land in which it currently exists. And why thats significant is because the trump hotel is right across the street from the f. B. I. Building, so the concerns are the president is trying to keep that property controlled by the federal government to prevent another hotel from coming in there potentially and taking away business from the trump hotel. Trevor yes, while Unemployment Benefits are being cut, republicans have managed to find 1. 75 billion to rebuild f. B. I. Headquarters in their Current Location instead of allowing it to move. All of this was a direct request from trump because trump knows that as long as the f. B. I. Stays across the street from his place in d. C. , nobody can build a competing hotel next to his. And this is whats so frustrating about trump. When you tell him you can stop corona by putting on a mask, he cant follow the logic. Its too complicated. But when hes working on a grift that will make himself money, suddenly he can see the matrix. You put that there, the hotel, carry the five, billions of dollars. I find it so bizarre that trump is president , but still constantly pulling these lowlevel scams. What does he need the money for . The man lives rent free, he only eats stuff off the dollar menu, and his favorite hobby is staying inside watching tv. Trump could finance his whole lifestyle with Lemonade Stand money. Either way, at this point, trump has done so many corrupt schemes, eventually hes going to run out of lines to cross. Hes going to need to seduce mike pence just to keep things interesting. Come on, mike. I dont even want it. I just want them to talk about something else. And its not just the f. B. I. Because while droopy mitch and his boys say america cant afford to help people survive, they did manage to scrounge a few billion dollars under the couch cushions for some shiny new weapons. And the g. O. P. Coronavirus bill doles out billions for things that have nothing to do with covid19. Theres money for new f35 fighter jets, Missile Defense systems, apache helicopters, surveillance planes, and other military equipment. Trevor fighter jets and Missile Defense systems . You dont need any of this stuff right now. Coronavirus is your defense system. Nobody is going to invade the u. S. , especially when theyre risking getting coughed on by some karen who thinks masks came from the devil. Like, i just dont get why america is willing to spend so much money on a hypothetical war that might never happen, while still not spending enough on the war thats currently killing 1,000 americans every day. And the funny thing is these are the same republicans who shame black people for living in the hood and buying jordans. Maybe you guys should get your priorities straight. First, you beat covid, then you can celebrate by bombing a small country. And, look, i get it. Spending money on Unemployment Benefits is super boring compared to fighter jets. I mean, nobody is making movies about opening an envelope with a check in it. Theyre making movies like this good morning, aviators. This is your captain speaking. Todays exercise is dogfighting. What the hell trevor awww, yeah. I cant wait to see tom cruise get strapped into a kids booster seat one more time, baby. Now, as cool as a new fighter jet sounds, the real question isnt whether america should be spending pandemic money on the f35. Its whether it should be spending any more money on the f35. The joint Strike Fighter program has been plagued by years of design flaws and massive cost overruns. The pentagons largest weapons program, the f35 joint Strike Fighter, was grounded as it was being tested due to power problems. The u. S. Military announced today its grounding its fleet of f35 fighter jets. The pentagon just refuses to admit that this thing is a failure. The pentagon even stopped it from flying within 40 kilometers of a thunderstorm out of fears its fuel tank could explode if struck by lightning. A new setback for one of the most advanced weapons in the u. S. Arsenal problems with cooling lines inside the fuel tanks. Pilots flying the worlds most expensive weapons system say their oxygen stopped working. The pentagon has grounded its entire fleet of f35 fighters due to safety concerns. The Defense Department had discovered more than 800 software deficiencies. Turns out, the f35 fighter has a gun that cant shoot straight. Something soft, fluffy and weighing less than an ounce brings the mighty f35 to its knees. And faster than the eye can see, its ingested right into the intake fan. The aircraft has been instantly compromised. Trevor im sorry, come again . This Program Costs billions of dollars, gen rats tons of lucrative defense contracts and somehow always breaks down. Sorry, the african in me just smelled a scam. Yeah, thats what it is. Its insane how republican repue penalizing people for being unemployed. Meanwhile, theyre throwing billions of dollars at this thing, and it hasnt worked in years. I mean, even a bird can take this fighter jet down . Thats so embarrassing. Its like finding out that the titanic was brought down by nemo. Seriously, if a tiny bird can destroy a trilliondollar jet, maybe the pentagon should stop trying to fly the plane and start weaponizing the bird. So while everyday People Struggle just to make ends meet, weapons manufacturers are being paid billions of dollars to build a jet that is so riddled with problems, its basically useless. In fact, the only thing the f35 might be good for is adding a major plot twist to the new top gun movie. Good morning, aviators. This is your captain speaking. Todays exercise is dogfight. Be right with you, maverick. Taking off now. En route. engine stalling oh, no come on, man what the hell cant get the plane to start. Hold on, tom cruise, im coming yes, ive already tried to restart it no, dont put me on hold sir, were taking fire. Where are you . Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line for the next available representative. sighs . This is coming in too fast i cant shake him awwww is that a bird . Hey get out of here get out this is a fragile piece of oh no, may day may day hey, im going down hey, man, come get me. I cant open it. The door wont open. Oh no oh oh im sorry, tom cruise. Trevor oooh. Im still going to watch that movie. We need to take a quick break, but when we come back, well introduce you to the revolutionary doctor that trump trusts more than dr. Fauci so dont go away. Wedding day, huh boys . Been there, done that. Twice your cousin. From boston. Karen, im just gonna say what everyone here is thinking. You look smokin. Total smokeshow. And they never did find his finger. They had to close the pool for like an hour. I brought a date. Names sam. Dig in. Love is like boston lager. Rich, complex and its over too soon. Right, chrissy . Oh my god. And tmobile doesnt just have a bigger network, oh my god. But a better one than ever before, with scam protection built into its core. Introducing, scamshield, free from tmobile. Get fewer scam calls. Period. With tmobiles supercharged network, you can say goodbye to annoying scam calls, and feel free to answer your phone again. Hello vo . Especially when your easilyg distracted teenager has the car. At subaru, were taking on distracted driving. With sensors that alert you when your eyes are off the road. The subaru forester. The safest forester ever. But what if we told you its recipe is over 100 years old . Created in mexico by a german brewmaster. Its not just any beer now, is it . Dos equis. A most interesting beer. Laso you can enjoy it even ifst youre sensitive. Se. Yet some say it isnt real milk. I guess those cows must actually be big dogs. Sit i said sit Simon Pagenaud takes the lead at the indy 500 coming to the green flag, racing at daytona. Theyre off. In the kentucky derby. Rory mcllroy is a two time champion at east lake. Touchdown only mahomes. The big events are back and xfinity is your home for the return of live sports. The bad news is theyre actually worse than they were last week. Two European Countries who thought they had the virus under control are now seeing cases rise. In france, cases were up by a daily average of 850 over the last three days, a higher number than when the country eased its lockdown. Todays numbers do show covid cases going up. Spains infection rate remains high, with 47 cases in every 100,000. Italy and germanys numbers remain lower, but also on the rise. Australia has reported its highest ever singleday rise in cases. Hong kong has reported another record daily spike of 145 new coronavirus cases. Trevor yes, people. After largely defeating the virus, many countries around the world are now facing the possibility of a second wave. It just goes to show you that coronavirus does not want to go away, like that weird party guest who wont take your hints. Man, its so late. Yeah, and i gotta get up early tomorrow so. Give you a hundred bucks to get the bleep out of my house. Its als wild that plateses like hong kong are calling a second wave. You could fit all those corona cases on a school bus in america which, by the way, is betsy devoss back to school plan. But i dont know whats more depressing, the idea of a second wave or the fact that america has handled the first wave so badly that its going to have to deal with the second wave at the same time. Like when you didnt finish your vegetables at one meal, so your parents saved those vegetables for the next meal and forced you to eat both. I told you, mom, im not coming home if youre going to make me eat 30 years of vegetables its not humanly possible in fact, as much as every country has struggled with covid19, america is one of the only developed nations that never got the virus under control to begin with. Over the past week, the u. S. Had 15 times as many new cases per capita as canada and 12 times as many as europe. And one reason why its still so out of control here is because of stuff like this new this morning, Governor Cuomo is blasting a chain smokers concert that happened in the hamptons because there was no social distancing. Video shows massive crowds gathered shoulder to shoulder in front of the stage and no space between people. A church in Huntington Beach defies officials and holds a service on the beach. Hundreds of people gathered for the meeting last night. The groups website encouraged people to wear a mask and social distance, but as you can see in this video, people were not wearing masks, and they were definitely not able to social distance. Police in new jersey busted a Massive House Party with 700 people. It took officers five hours to disperse hundreds of people from the packed airbnb. It was advertised on instagram as a Mansion Party with free booze, food, and a cash prize for a twerking contest. Trevor guys, i can understand getting corona because you wanted to see your grandmother or something, but getting corona because you wanted to watch a twerking contest there is no reason to risk your health for that. Unless your grandmother was in the twerking contest. Then i can understand. Youve got to support your nanas dreams. You know what i mean,nana . To you, girl . Also, i understand that people want to go to church, but please people, dont hold church in a tight massive crowd jesus is supposed to die for you, not the other way around. So, obviously, ordinary americans should be taking the pandemic more seriously. And they could be. But in their defense, its hard to do that when this is the guy setting the tone from the top. Overnight, the president went on a twitter spree. Among the things that he shared with his more than 84 million twitter followers, a doctor saying you dont need to wear masks. She touted hydroxychloroquine instead. That video has since been removed and flagged by twitter as a violation. Doctor immanuel here has a large number of baseless claims. She has hailed hydroxychloroquina the socalled cure for the coronavirus. The daily beast has also identified her as a pediatrician with a history of making quote bizarre claims about medical topics and other issues, often claiming very questionable things. Sex is a spiritual transaction, so when you do it by yourself, demons come and join you. When youre doing it in the right way in marriage, god watches over it. Trevor okay, both of those situations are not ideal. I mean, obviously, i dont want demons joining me in sex, but i also dont want god watching me have sex. Like, what if hes judging me . Cone on, trevor. I know i didnt give you much, but you can work harder than that. But, yes, despite having the worlds top doctors at his disposal, trump has decided instead to trust a doctor who believes that people get sick because they masturbate and that vaccines are made from alien d. N. A. And, by the way, whatever you do, please dont start running around saying that african doctors are crazy. This doctor, whos from africa, happens to be crazy. You cant judge her to judge all african doctors. Are the same way you wouldnt want the world to judge americas president s based on one guy, would you . So, look, america has two choices right now limit the spread of corona by following the science, or listen to the advice of internet randos like dr. Demon sperm. Coming up after the break, ill try to take lewis black out to dinner. You dont want to miss this. Lets open the schools, please. You said it, mr. President. In our fabulous backtoschool corona sale has the cool gear every kid needs. We have p. P. 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Brewed for those with a fighting spirit. Vented where you want it. Cool when you need it. Coolzone™fly. From fruit of the loom®. Daily social distancing show. In new york city and around the country, restaurants are opening back up for outdoor dine. Soy checked in with my good friend lewis black to see what thee thinks about all of it. Check it out. Yo, lewis, ive missed you man. What have you been up to . Have you picked up any new quarantine hobbies. Sure, if you call lying on the floor moaning a hobby. Trevor it sound like you need to get out of the house. You know, new york restaurants have Outdoor Dining. Maybe we should meet up for lunch this week. Im touched of all the people youre willing to risk your health for, you thought of me, your one friend most likely to spray spit when he talks.