normally there are hundreds of thousands of people here. they ve been here all day. there are a lot of first responders, doctors and nurses, medical professionals, first responders who are there with their families in these pens as honored guests, as they should be. they are having a good time, and we re all waiting for the ball to drop for the new year. yes, i know. you re a little drunk. you know, we were just talking about annoying things, things that annoy us in our lives right now. yes. i m very annoyed by this book that i read. you have a whole thing about children s books. well, i do children s book reviews on my instagram. and, you know, there are some that make no sense. i mean i had a 70s sesame alphabet book that i mean it says h is for hull. how am i explaining this to my son? there are some kids i m thinking is this an acid trip. do you have potty time for elmo ? they re like, elmo can use the potty. my agent carol is a great friend, got wya
is trevor: let s kick it off with a holiday story. if you ve been listening to the music in the background of any store over the past week, you know that this is the most wonderful time of the year. but it s still 2020, which means even the holidays are a little less jolly than usual: online shopping instead of going to the mall, zoom parties instead of real ones, and now this: say it ain t so! the makers of pepperidge farm cookies say there may be a shortage of cookies this holiday season. no! and they blame it on increased demand and a labor shortage, both results of the pandemic, of course. a recent survey shows cookie consumption has increased by 25% since the start of the pandemic, with one in five americans eating three or more cookies a day. trevor: okay, you know what, that s not cool. i don t know why the news is not reporting on the number of cookies i eat. i eat more than three. why is that news? it s a pandemic. should i cry every day. but it s not just
conditions. if you ve ever had a crunchy cookie, that s elf bones. so, look, i understand why there s a shortage, but still, man, this is so messed up. christmas is the cookie season. this is like trojan announcing they have a condom shortage on valentine s day. if i can t buy condoms, how am i supposed to impress the guy at 7-11 before i go home and play video games by myself? and i know, i know some of you people are saying, but, trevor, you don t need to buy cookies. you can just bake your own cookies at home! no, no, no. that was the first three months of quarantine. i m done with that baking shit now. and this is going to be real bad news for santa claus. you think he s going to travel around the world for a pear? i wouldn t even walk across the room for a pear. he needs to keep up energy for the kids and have christmas sex with all our moms. let s move on to news out of great britain. it s the country with the non-beyonce queen. during the coronavirus lockdowns, many
off from news from the world in boxing, the only sport where it always looks like the athlete is yus about to kiss, watching grown men punch each other is the perfect way to work off some of that post thanksgiving a gresmghts and over the weekend there were two big fights that showed how the sweet science is as sweet as ever. saturday night 54 year old mike tyson fought 51 year old roy jones, jr., eight two minute rounds at staple center. the fight was unofficially ruled a draw by the judges ringside. the other match of the night, youtube star jay paul took on nate robinson, eventually paul hit robinson, that s right, knock out punch, sent him right to the canvas. trevor: wow. that is the first tame have i seen a human get dumped, it looked like one minute he was trying to catch a bus and he was like oh no, i m supposed to be taking a nap. can someone tell me why a youtube star is fieght an nba star anyway. what is this, is this 2020 making shit up, it doesn t make sens
office after twisting his ankle while playing with his dog major. according to a transition team. biden s doctor saying the president-elect following a ct scan sustained hairline fractures in his right foot and will likely require a walking boot for several weeks. trevor: wow. biden broke his foot playing with his dog. that is such a strange accident or was it? someone check who that dog voted for. and why does bied enneed a walking boot. he shouldn t be walking. he should be riding a golf cart everywhere. it s called being presidential. also, i know this is i hard one to figure out but the president-elect getting hurt by a dog really puts the secret service in a difficult position. because how do they handle this. dog on the ground, hands in the hair, roll over. oh my god, he s so cute, look at him guys, he wants a belly rub. can t stay mad at that face. all right but dogs or not, joe biden has to be more careful. he broke his foot before he even got into office. at th