[ light laughter ] welcome to impeachment after dark live. The only show that recaps the very mean, very nasty things democrats said about me at todays impeachment hearings [ laughter ] and before we go any further, yes, i got this after show idea from andy cohen. Or as i call him, opposite mike pence [ laughter ] now i admit, folks, i thought this whole impeachment thing would go away by now like a common cold, or a second wife but yet, here we are [ laughter ] and worse, now you cant even get the truth from shows like fox and frenemies. [ light laughter ] even though i am totally innocent, and legally handsome, i have to take matters into my own huge hands [ laughter ] and ill be honest, todays hearings had me on the edge of my seat. Like when Rudy Giuliani goes on fox news, or when Stephen Miller texts me kk. Stop right there, stephen. [ laughter ] but lets just jump into it. The impeachment hearings began this afternoon and just as i suspected, it started out totally full of schiff