[ light laughter ] welcome to impeachment after dark live. The only show that recaps the very mean, very nasty things democrats said about me at todays impeachment hearings [ laughter ] and before we go any further, yes, i got this after show idea from andy cohen. Or as i call him, opposite mike pence [ laughter ] now i admit, folks, i thought this whole impeachment thing would go away by now like a common cold, or a second wife but yet, here we are [ laughter ] and worse, now you cant even get the truth from shows like fox and frenemies. [ light laughter ] even though i am totally innocent, and legally handsome, i have to take matters into my own huge hands [ laughter ] and ill be honest, todays hearings had me on the edge of my seat. Like when Rudy Giuliani goes on fox news, or when Stephen Miller texts me kk. Stop right there, stephen. [ laughter ] but lets just jump into it. The impeachment hearings began this afternoon and just as i suspected, it started out totally full of schiff [ laughter ] at first, i wasnt going it wasnt going so well for me take a look at what kent said. Over the course of 2018 and 2019, i became increasingly aware of an effort by Rudy Giuliani and others to smear ambassador yovanovitch and other officials at the u. S. Embassy in kyiv jimmy really, folks . Youre going to take Foreign Policy advice from Orville Impeachmentbacher . [ laughter ] anyway, then ambassador taylors testimony was even harsher on me, very nasty. But eventually, he came around to my side President Trumps actions were clearly correct and he is also very, very jimmy handsome [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy there you have it, folks. Trumps here to stay ill be president for four more years. Then ill do eight years as kanyes v. P. [ laughter ] and then ill finally harden into a ball of hairspray and get laid to rest on a florida golf course. Its the american dream, folks i need some water. Wheres my assistant wheres my new assistant thank you. [ cheers and applause water, water no, no no, water. Thank you, yes [ laughter ] so in summary, if youre still wondering if im guilty, all i have to say is, read the transcript read the transcript [ light laughter ] jimmy now i have to go meet with turkish president , president hair dragon. Its its its erdogan jimmy errduhgone yep, sure [ laughter ] jimmy hes the president of turkey, folks, so i have to do it fast before hes eaten on thanksgiving [ laughter ] and theres one more theres one more thing just close the show jimmy oh, thats right the tonight show is coming to you from new york city its happening right now [ cheers and applause lets start the show, everybody. Lets go [ cheers and applause steve from 30 Rockefeller Plaza here in new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. And now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. You made it. [ cheers and applause thank you very much. Well, heres some heres some good news. Today was World Kindness day [ cheers and applause you could tell it was World Kindness day, because all day long, new yorkers were like, no, please, you take the we subway seat. [ laughter ] screw screw me no, sir, screw you. [ light laughter ] of course, the bad news today is that the countrys still dealing with this arctic blast it was freezing outside. Seriously, frozen 2 isnt just the name of a movie, its also the nickname for my nipples. [ laughter ] steve what jimmy it was also freezing down in washington, d. C. It was so cold, during todays impeachment hearing, democrats and republicans put aside their differences and spooned each other for warmth steve aww. [ laughter ] jimmy in fact, today was the first public impeachment hearing. But apparently President Trump didnt watch trump wanted to, but he threw his tv remote out the window when he wasnt named people magazines sexiest man of the year. [ laughter ] it was such a tense day in washington that emotional support dogs were actually brought in to help members of Congress Deal with the stress. [ light laughter ] so if you think you had a rough day, think about the dog that had to spend 12 hours cuddling with Mitch Mcconnell [ laughter ] meanwhile, a lot of bars in d. C. Opened up at 9 00 a. M. , so people could watch the hearing and drink. [ light laughter ] yeah, drinking all morning on a workday. Or as the white house staffers call that, every day [ laughter ] todays testimony came from the state Department Official george kent and u. S. Diplomat bill taylor. In case you dont know what they look like, heres george kent. I think hes still dressed in his Young Sheldon halloween costume. [ laughter ] heres u. S. Diplomat bill taylor. Hes a former ambassador and the current spokesman for just for men touch of gray [ laughter ] but bill taylors testimony was brutal for trump he clearly outlined how the president tried to get ukraine to investigate biden in exchange for aid which means its the second time in trumps life that his coverup didnt work [ laughter ] [ audience oohs at one point, taylor read his Text Messages out loud, and he was asked to explain an exchange he had with ambassador sondland are we now saying that Security Assistance and white house meeting are conditioned on investigations . And ambassador sondland responded, call me. Jimmy yeah if youre unaware, call me is a legal term meaning, i cant put this very illegal thing im about to say in writing. [ laughter ] but during his hours of testimony, a lot of people really liked taylors voice and thought he should narrate a podcast or a tv show just just listen to him im appearing today at the committees request to provide my perspective on the events that are the subject of the committees inquiry. Jimmy yeah while he testified, a bunch of judges from the voice turned their chairs around. [ laughter ] why would you take that, why . [ light laughter ] well, im not an impeachment expert, but there were a few words said during todays testimony that i was not expecting to hear. Take a look. Chalupa Chalupa Chalupa three way nude. Pictures of trump [ laughter ] jimmy wasnt expecting just wasnt expecting that u. S. Diplomat bill taylor and state Department Official george kent testified. But first, they had to swear in under oath and i think they seemed to be asked a few more questions than usual. Take a look at this. Do you swear that the testimony youre about to give is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth . I do. Do you think the redesigned sonic the hedgehog is an overall success . I do. Do you often wonder why hiccups are called hiccups and not throat sneezes [ light laughter ] i do. Do you agree that john legend is the sexiest man alive . I do. What is your favorite 98 degrees song . I do. [ laughter ] do you take me to be your lawfully married husband i do. [ light laughter ] do you wish you were watching 101 dalmatians on disney right now . I do. [ light laughter ] do you want to give the man standing next to you a gentle kiss on the forehead i do. [ cheers and applause jimmy that seems unfair. Steve wow. I didnt i didnt notice that wow. Jimmy some 2020 news Pete Buttigieg is now leading the polls in iowa. [ cheers and applause petes very proud. Hes Walking Around like hes five feet tall [ laughter ] Hillary Clintons in the news. In a new interview, she said, many, many, many people are urging her to run in 2020. When asked to name them, she said, pinot, zinfandel, cabernet and sauvignon blanc. [ laughter ] we have a great show give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show we have a fun show tonight Rachel Maddow is here. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy tony hale is here tonight. Steve ah, come on. [ cheers and applause jimmy we love tony steve come on. Jimmy and we got great music from dominic fike, right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause it was just released, today. I dont know if you saw, quest, that the roots and i are going to be at the thanksgiving day parade [ cheers and applause very excited about this. Weve done this how many times have we done this . Probably five questlove four or five times, yeah. Jimmy do you have any favorite memories from the thanksgiving day parade . [ laughter ] tariq . Questlove tariq might. Jimmy tariq, which one do you i have two memories. Tariq yeah, well, i mean, definitely Richard Simmons jimmy that was oh, that was one of them. Tariq yeah jimmy the first time i ever met Richard Simmons. We were on this float we were on the this year were on the entenmanns float. Tariq yeah jimmy thats all donuts and stuff. Dancing donuts and stuff [ laughter ] i didnt see that, yeah. Steve its fantastic jimmy but, we were on a i forget what float we were on tariq and i were on the top and we heard, like, jimmy, roots. Jimmy, roots. And were like it was, like kept going all the way down cause its a parade, so a lot of people yell that. It kept going and going. And we go somebody said, i think Richard Simmons is trying to say hi to you. [ light laughter ] i go, oh, where is he . And i turned around and Richard Simmons is wearing short shorts on he was on a sequined sea horse. [ light laughter ] and his leg was behind his head [ laughter ] and hes been waving yeah, yeah, yeah i go, oh, my gosh. The best way ever to meet Richard Simmons. It was so iconic, i cant i cant unsee that [ light laughter ] and then, my favorite though has gotta be tariq james . Jimmy its james when we did when we cause heres you get to central park at like 6 00 in the morning, maybe questlove yeah jimmy it was early i never see the roots before 3 00 p. M questlove yeah [ light laughter ] jimmy so, were just kinda sitting there. It was like we have to go and we go on a bus before we go on the float and were on the bus, we have coffees and stuff. And who comes on the bus, but Ronald Mcdonald. Steve ooh. [ light laughter ] jimmy Ronald Mcdonald so he comes on, and hes so nice and hes just talking normal like hes not dressed as Ronald Mcdonald, hes like [ light laughter ] hes like, yeah, the subway was crazy today. Im like, i cant listen to you, youre dressed as Ronald Mcdonald. [ light laughter ] were all just kind of freaking out, taking pictures with him and stuff. He was cool. And james was late yeah, he slept in, yeah. So, james was coming on to the bus and were all freaking out were like, oh my gosh, this is gonna be so funny. Hes gonna see Ronald Mcdonald like, how is james going to react . And he came on the bus and he looked at Ronald Mcdonald, and he goes, hey, whats up, ron . [ laughter ] what do you mean, whats up, ron . Steve ron. [ applause ] jimmy whats up, ron . Like he knows Ronald Mcdonald. Steve ron mcdonald jimmy but we gotta think of what song are we going to do questlove what are we gonna do jimmy for the parade i was thinking like questlove the bird jimmy you do, like yeah you do like or you could do a holiday song or you could do just any song really we did we will rock you one year questlove yeah we did lets go crazy one year jimmy we did prince. Yeah, we did did i was thinking maybe we have zog, whos our great comedian and steve the warmup guy jimmy and writer for the show yeah, but maybe if we have zog dressed up as a turkey [ laughter ] with a surf board and we do surfin bird. [ light laughter ] well everybodys hear about the bird bbbbbird bird bird bird is the word the bird bird bir the bird is the word oh well the bird the bird thatd be a good one, right . Steve i love it. Jimmy itd be kinda fun. All right, well, anyways well think of what song were doing and ill let you guys know [ cheers and applause so you can root for us well be on the entenmanns float. Im so excited about that. Right now, guys, it is time for our latest installment of tonight show polls here we go [ cheers and applause tonight show polls jimmy this first poll asked, will you listen to Rudy Giulianis podcast about trump being impeached . 75 said, no. 24 said, yes. Rudy giuliani said, what podcast . I never said there was gonna be a podcast. Okay, fine, theres a podcast. But i never said that. [ applause ] why would you think i said that i didnt say that. This poll asked, how do you communicate with your relatives . 20 said, by phone. 20 said, by email. 60 said, by occasionally liking one of their facebook posts to let them know were still cool. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this next poll asks, how many drinks is the appropriate amount with coworkers . 20 said, one is fine. 20 said, yeah, sure, okay, two. 20 said, you know what i can do three. [ laughter ] 20 said, well, if were doing four, were doing five. [ laughter ] 20 said, h. R. Is telling me 12 was too many. [ laughter and applause next they asked, what is love . 33 said, baby, dont hurt me. [ laughter ] 33 said, dont hurt me. 34 said, no more. [ laughter and applause this next poll asks, how do you take your coffee . 10 said, black. 15 said, milk and sugar. 10 said, one splenda, one equal, oat milk steamed, then have them put some ice in it so its not too hot, two pumps vanilla and cinnamon sprinkles. [ light laughter ] 10 said, uh, sorry that was one splenda, one equal, what else . 10 said, oat milk steamed, but have them put some ice in it so its not too hot, two pumps vanilla and cinnamon sprinkles. 10 said, great, can i get your name . 35 said, jennnnnifer with five ns. [ laughter and applause these are polls. These are polls that steve wow. Polling people jimmy theyre polling people and getting steve that many people are named jennnnnifer with five ns jimmy yeah [ light laughter ] dont spell is wrong or else i wont be able to know its my drink. Steve no one will know its her drink. Jimmy this last poll asked, whats your favorite food at thanksgiving . 60 said, turkey. 35 said, organic turkey. 5 said, wild turkey i chugged in the bathroom just to get through this thing. [ cheers and applause thats all the time we have for tonight show polls well be right back, with Rachel Maddow. [ cheers and applause nice, wow. Just out of curiosity, what did that carriage set you back . Oh, like, 19 large. Ugh, i overpaid, im an idiot. Hey, happens to everybody. I bet he overpaid. lock signal chirp me . I didnt overpay. I used autotrader its the only one with kelley blue book. He overpaid. No it literally says great price. Okay, we get it you got a great price. Did you get a good price . No okay, im sorry. Want to go get some croissants . No im fine, thank you. Okay horse neighing get 25 off home decor, target holideals no im fine, thank you. Bedding, bath and more. This weekend only. Save on everything you need for when Friends Family come home for the holidays. 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Bang bang, there [agoes my bang bang, i want my bang bang, i want my bang bang go bang bang there goes my bang bang, go bang bang, there goes my bazooka go bang bang, there goes my bang bang, i want my mind blown, i want my mind blown go bang bang, there goes my bazooka kerrygold has a taste so rich it can take you to irelands lush, green pastures. Where grassfed cows produce rich, creamy milk for a truly delicious taste. Kerrygold. The taste that takes you there. Shouldnt mean a change in standards. Thats why thanks to you were rated number one in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest hosts the Rachel Maddow show which is the number one show in cable news and this is her brand new book called blowout which is already a New York Times bestseller please welcome, Rachel Maddow. [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you so much for coming back to the show. I appreciate this. Its always fun to talk to you super good to see you jimmy how are you feeling, first off . Because youve been hobbling around youve seen me in crutches on the building. Its like jimmy yes. The entire year jimmy what happened . I its so boring jimmy just tell me i sprained my ankle and broke my ankle at once jimmy what while doing nothing [ light laughter ] my big adventure was i was stepping down. Jimmy that was it . And that was enough to break and sprain my ankle and put myself on crutches for four months im only off crutches for a few days jimmy what a drag. I know. Jimmy Getting Better were you getting used to the crutches kind of the cool thing about crutches, i will say, and i mean nothing against right but having big pieces of metal in my arms at all times, going down the street in new york city, kind of an advantage. Jimmy yeah [ laughter ] you know what i mean . Jimmy swatting people away in new york, people are good about, like, giving each other physical space jimmy yes. And not making eye contact. And, like, people are good about managing density of humans but, like, having physically clearing myself more space and like, i can wield this at you if i need to. Jimmy yes. [ light laughter ] like, it bought me some elbow room jimmy yeah it was nice now i feel i feel vulnerable i feel like ive [ laughter ] i feel like ive been plucked. [ laughter ] i dont have my sticks anymore jimmy i want to talk to you about the big news john legend is peoples sexiest man no. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause is that right . Lets talk about it. Expect a 27 minute commercialfree monologue for me on todays big news jimmy yeah the impeachment hearings started today. Whats the takeaway . What went down today what do we have to expect . You know, i dont we have so few experiences of impeachment as a country that theres no, like, normal impeachment. Nobody knows how its supposed to go. So i think theres a lot of suspense just to see what it looked like and to see how it was going to proceed i think the really good news is that it was kind of calm like, it could have been a a crazy circus people could have pulled anything and instead it kind of proceeded like a normal hearing. And these were witnesses who had a story to tell and who told it with incredible dignity and gravitas and yes, some of the questioning was stupid but almost [ light laughter ] all of wasnt. And to me, that was like manna from heaven. cause ive just been hoping for this issue to be resolved in a way that is rational, factbased, calm, not about intimidation and namecalling. That just tells the American People what happened and lets people make their own decisions. And today was a really good start for that jimmy and what is exactly theyre saying is impeachable . So you cant solicit something from a foreign entity to benefit the next u. S. Election you cant go to any foreign entity and say, hey, give me some help in this next election. You cant ask whether or not you get it you cannot solicit anything of value from a foreign entity for use in a u. S. Election and President Trump and his personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani admit they did that they went to ukraine and they said, we want investigations of joe biden. And we want investigations of the democrats. And giuliani just flat out admits, the reason i want that is because it would be a value to my client. [ laughter ] well, that sounds great on tv. Also thats its a crime [ laughter ] jimmy oops, yeah oops. I mean not unless ukraine is youre going try to pretend its, like, a proper noun that applies to an american who you met somewhere. [ light laughter ] i mean, as long as we admit that ukraine is a foreign country, you cant ask them for things that are going to help your client in the next election they admit that. And so jimmy it was a perfect phone call it was perfectly [ laughter ] criminal [ laughter ] it was the perfect crime jimmy yeah theyve i mean they admit it because they dont think it should be a criminal offense but it is. And an impeachment, it doesnt necessarily have to be something for which you would go to jail if you were a a civilian although this is something for which you would go to jail if you were a civilian. In this case, it just has to be something thats inconsistent with the responsibilities of the president. High crimes and misdemeanors in the constitution arent laid out like the penal code. They arent laid out in terms of specific statues. But a president trying to get help from a foreign country against his political rivals here is not only wrong, its not only criminal, it is definitely impeachable conduct and they admit that. And so how are we going to proceed as a country toward deciding whether or not he gets impeached and removed from office well, we saw day one of that effort today and they are calmly elucidating the facts. And i think it is actually going to be a useful thing for the country. I think this is going to be a sort of a i dont think this is going to be a divisive thing. I think this is going to get people on the same page. Jimmy how long do you think this will go i dont know. I mean, we know now that theres is going to be another hearing this friday. The u. S. Ambassador to ukraine was recalled as part of this scheme that trump and giuliani were pulling off shes going to testify on friday and then weve got three days of hearings next week, including a couple days where theres going to be two hearings per day so we know theres going to be a lot between now and the end of next week and then i dont know. We got a new revelation about a new phone call that trump was on today that we didnt know about before and that resulted in them calling new witnesses that weve never heard of before today so it could stretch on for awhile but i dont i dont think it will go, like, deep into next year or something. Jimmy do you think the whistleblower will be revealed or if so, that will be a new low for our country. That would be really bad the whistleblower came forward to say, i have reason to believe that x thing happened on this call, when President Trump called ukraine i am concerned about it. And i believe it should be looked into. Turns out what the whistleblower was worried about actually did happen on the call and it was looked into and it turns out it was even worse than the whistleblower said so now it takes a really i think it how is whats the nice way to say this jimmy yeah it takes a small mind to look at that set of circumstances and be like, we better out that whistleblower. Now the whistleblower was correct. The whistleblower was drawing attention to something that happened in the administration that did turn out to be a real problem. And if youre going to try to vilify and punish and chase around and retaliate against that person, thats not illegal, its fundamentally unfair and its something that i think every american should sort of be horrified by. So i think the the democrat whos leading the hearing, congressman adam schiff, today tried to draw a real hardline on that and say, were not going to entertain republican efforts to try to out this whistleblower. Were not even going to get close there. And i hope hes able to still hold that line i also hope the people who are messing around with this, trying to blame somebody for being the whistleblower, trying to out them, trying to target them, i hope they look at themselves in the mirror and come to realize how wrong that is and how unamerican. Jimmy the if it does if everyone says, oh, okay, he should get impeached, then what happens well, the house makes the first decision they decide whether or not they are going to impeach him and impeaching doesnt mean you get removed from office. Its kind of the equivalent, in the criminal laws, of you getting criminally charged and then once youre criminally charged, once youre impeached in the house, then those charges, those articles of impeachment go to the senate and the senate puts the president on trial now the senate is run by republicans. And so everybody assumes that means that the trail will last five minutes and then itll end with him getting an award [ laughter ] but, i mean, well well see. I do feel like you know, we learn something on day one of the impeachment hearings and i think were probably going to learn more as it goes forward. And the fact that the president has admitted to this criminal behavior, i think is going to make it hard for it to be a knee jerk thing for republican senators so just say, we dont care. And were happy to be seen blowing this off. This is a really serious thing were going through as a a country. And its being treated seriously, at least on day one and if that sustains, i dont think any of us should have anything other than an open mind in terms of how our elected officials are going to deal with this cause this is serious stuff and think a lot of them will be called by their better angels. Jimmy more with Rachel Maddow when we come back, everybody. [ cheers and applause stick around were going to talk about the book [ cheers and applause i got you something. Ooooh even though we just started dating i find you so captivating and im done with hesitating lets see where this goes . Save on a gift that says it all with 20 off during the jared semiannual sale. 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Aveeno® with prebiotic striple oat complex balances skins microbiome. So skin looks like this and you feel like this. Aveeno® skin relief. Get skin healthy™ Kermit Fozzie youre on my tv Kermit Fozzie and youre on my tv dr. Teeth and im on both your tvs. miss piggy and of course, moi is on tv. Statler Waldorf nobody cares hahaha dr. Teeth woah woah woah. How are we all on each others tvs . animal me on tv fozzie oh i believe i have the answer. You see. miss piggy the thing on the tv is a portal tv and it lets you video call. all on your tv dr. Teeth ah animal me on tv hahahaha fozzie vo portal. From facebook. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody. Were talking with our good friend Rachel Maddow right here, now. [ cheers and applause we have a lot to discuss youre first of all, youre going to be moderating the debates the democratic debate next week yes jimmy in the midst of all this so you love this work . [ laughter ] oh, my gosh. Can i tell you, when i realized last night when i was getting on the air, that on the day of the democratic debate, theres going to be another impeachment hearing. Oh, no, im sorry, theres going to be two impeachment hearings [ laughter ] on the day that im moderating the debate that night. Jimmy no just like, you know what . Theres going to be ten candidates on the stage. Theres four of us moderating. Were in the middle of an impeachment. And theres two hearings that day. Oh, yeah, this is fine [ laughter ] were really going to do a a great job. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah i will be laser focused who are you moderating with it is Ashley Parker from the washington post. Kristen welker from nbc news and my mentor and my hero Andrea Mitchell from nbc news. Jimmy oh, yeah so its four women moderating [ cheers and applause jimmy thats fantastic this is very true and its a, its super humbling to be among that group because theyre so impressive. But it is kind of cool weve got a Record Number of female candidates for president. Weve got four female moderators in this debate. And most of the executives who are involved and the producers who are involved at a senior level and planning this debate are also women jimmy yeah [ cheers and applause so its just cool its cool. Jimmy its a great thing its a it is a nightmare at the one level but its the process is going as well as it possibly can jimmy thats good. Yeah. Jimmy so you think theres going to be any more people running . Oh, sure. [ laughter ] oh, sure why not . Jimmy why not, right yeah i mean, just in the past few days, deval patrick, former governor of massachusetts has made noise that he got in. Eric holder, former attorney general, has made noise that he might get in jimmy really or at least people are saying that theyve heard. Jimmy yeah mike bloomberg, of course, has started to try i mean, its why not everybody . [ laughter ] i mean, are any of you not running . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, were already running for president as well. Ill be moderating your debates, too [ laughter ] thats fine. Jimmy i want to talk on your book. Congrats on this, blowout. Aw, thank you [ cheers and applause jimmy number one, New York Times bestseller. What is the book about the book jimmy or what is this cover . Weirdly, ended up being about the thing trump is getting impeached for. Sort of. Jimmy wow. Which i did not know when i started writing the book jimmy started writing it like, i wrote this book because i got interested in why did russia attack us in 2016 and what like, were having this big fight between the rise of authoritarianism around the world. And democracy is kind of back on the ropes and whats going to and i decided to write about how the richest, most destructive industry on earth, the oil and gas industry, kind of explains both of those things and i was like, i know that im super into this. But im kind of a dork, definitely it wont be timely. And nobody will want to read it so i dont have to worry about making it that good because its going to be basically family members and people who i pay to read it. [ laughter ] and then, like, the week that it comes out, donald trump starts getting impeached for, like, russia deliberately corrupt oil and gas regime in ukraine. Jimmy bingo bingo jimmy oh, my god oh, my god. Thats chapter [ cheers and applause jimmy jackpot. Thats chapter 19 so it ended up being weirdly timely its about all these characters who end up surfacing in the impeachment. Jimmy yeah but its told from your point of view, and also your awesome sense of humor, i would say, too theres some parts in there theres some definite fart jokes. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah actually, the real title, blowout. But it says, corrupted democracy, rogue state russia, and the richest, most destructive industry on earth. Blowout. Thats your title. Thats how you know ive been working too long is that im not capable of editing myself to make a shorter subtitle [ laughter ] jimmy you just in this one, im like i just jimmy i mean, look at all these. Its a lot. Jimmy i mean, its long book i mean, you work too hard. Youve got to do stuff like this [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause thats a book. Theres i think theres words on the front of your book than there are in my entire book [ laughter ] good. Do me a favor, to be fair. Dada wolf is the plot of chapter 11 [ laughter ] jimmy no spoilers. Its actually where you started this no spoilers, but jimmy we love you. Good luck next sunday. Great to see you. Thank you. Jimmy always great to see you. Rachel maddow, everybody [ cheers and applause blowout is available right now. Well be right back with tony hale. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause i have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. 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Com. Choose the longest lasting thiaa battery. Son music energizer ultimate lithium backed by science. Matched by no one. His voice was a universe of its own. Yeah. Hello im johnny cash. I hear the train a comin. He was the rambler. The patriot. The frontiersman. The cowboy. The folk hero. And time keeps draggin on he wanted to redeem himself. Im thankful for my soul mate. Im thankful for my family. Im thankful for the gift. Whats gotten into him . Christmas. Jcpenney. Remember the little things. When i think of what my imagination looks like. [laughs] i mean, wow. The surface is a tool that helps me realize beautiful ideas. A former army medic, made of the we maflexibility to handle members like kate. Whatever monday has in store and tackle four things at once. So when her car got hit, she didnt worry. She simply filed a claim on her usaa app and said. I got this. Usaa insurance is made the way kate needs it easy. She can even pick her payment plan so its easy on her budget and her life. Usaa. What youre made of, were made for. Usaa okconnected to wifi,on. Protected from threats. Thermostat connected, protected. Speaker, space vacuum. [ whispering ] connected, protected. Shh. Eh, this is not connected or protected. But, thats a family heirloom. And, its a family security breach. Its gotta go. With xfinity xfi, if its connected, its protected. Pull the truck around. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Get more out of your inhome wifi experience with xfinity internet and ask about enhanced Network Security for all your connected devices. Click, call or visit a store today. [ cheers and applause jimmy our next guest is an emmywinning actor hes also the voice of forky in the new series forky asks a a question. Which is streaming now on disney . Everyone, please welcome tony hale. [ cheers and applause hi. Jimmy some good dance moves. Theyre so good jimmy thats what im talking about. Tonay hale thats so good. Its National Kindness day jimmy it is National Kindness day its National Kindness day. Jimmy thats perfect for you, cause youre i think youre great, jimmy jimmy i think youre great too. [ cheers ] i think you are great, audience jimmy aw, thats right [ cheers and applause i do think youre great. I think you are great. And i think youre a very genuinely a kind person. Thank you ditto. Jimmy ive know you for a lot of years thank you. This is a crazy busy year for you, bud giant. I mean, last season of veep. Yeah. And it was so nice to do that little bit jimmy thank you for doing that oh, thank you for doing that oh, i loved it. It was nice, cause i miss my veep family. So it was nice to step into that emasculated roll again. [ laughter ] jimmy you have that. You had the toy story did you get any time to relax or take some time off i did a little couple gigs this summer. We did a family camp my family and i did a sweet Little Family camp that was fun and every year these rope courses they have at these camps. Jimmy theres a rope course a ropes youve done a zip line, havent you. Jimmy oh, i hated it yeah, awfully [ laughter ] so jimmy theres no real reason to do that ever okay, thank you so every year im like, im going to do it because my daughter loves it shes 13 and she loves it and every and this year i was like, you know what . I think im going to be competent. Nope i went into a state of paralysis on top of this tree. My daughter, of course, is flying all over the place. I start cussing madly at a a family camp. [ laughter ] and all these people i dont know if they were you were told this, but all the people that work there, are like, oh, my gosh, dont worry. Its so safe. Nothing about this is safe [ light laughter ] jimmy nothing. Were high up in trees. Jimmy i totally agree. Its not natural. Jimmy yeah its just not right jimmy yeah, this my guy told me, he goes, be careful of the wire, because the wire will burn your face. Yeah [ laughter ] jimmy i go, why am i doing this yeah. Why create this . Jimmy why am i this is not fun. This is not fun at all i got done with my thing i did my zip line. I finished i go, whew, i did it. Yeah. Jimmy that was it. That was the end of it yeah, yeah. Jimmy i was screaming the whole time of course jimmy and i go, all right, thats good. Wheres the car . Lets go. Yeah. Jimmy and he goes, no, you have to take a zip line to the car. No. [ light laughter ] jimmy i go, no, i just did my zip line. He goes no. Jimmy i go, what are my options . He goes, there are no options were in a jungle. You burn yourself again jimmy yeah, you burn yourself again i go, oh, my gosh. Its awful. But some people love it. Mmmmm jimmy no you know whats safe . Jimmy tariq a food court at a mall. Jimmy yes [ light laughter ] i would do that. That is safe thats safe i love that. Jimmy tariq loved it he did it and he had a great time tariq i loved it, man. Are you serious did you have good time tariq most fun ive ever had. Okay. [ laughter ] jimmy and then i got stuck okay. Jimmy no, i swear to god no, i swear to you thats so terrifying. Jimmy so im like, all right. Ill try to steer, whatever. He goes, all right so i go, i dont even know what to do. So tariq goes first. And he goes like and then you hear, like, ah and then silence [ laughter ] and i go, all right, hes dead. Welp, hes dead jimmy yeah, hes dead. [ laughter ] i go i go so then yeah, yeah. Jimmy then i go down and then theyre like, go ahead. Hes dead. You go ahead. Jimmy yeah, exactly. Its like yeah. cause then theres no witnesses. Yeah, so then so i go down. And then i immediately start turning. And im, like, pushing back, and im turning. Im like, whats going on . And then i just kind of im seeing everyone at the end i just kind of stopped and i go no. Jimmy what and i see them im like 20 feet away from where i should be. Nope. Jimmy and then im not kidding, i start going backwards up then [ light laughter ] what is going on what am i doing wrong . Hes like, dont touch the wire did they have to do this to get to you jimmy yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy a man came out and spooned me to save me. [ laughter ] yeah, sure. Well, that was probably lovely jimmy oh, that was humiliating. Since ive seen you, toy story 4 went to be over a billion dollars. [ cheers and applause isnt that crazy . Jimmy biggest thing in the world. It was great ill tell you heres the thing whew, i look pale in that monitor. [ laughter ] ill tell you, like, i was, you know, we as the actors, we talk a lot about the movie and toy story. And im so grateful. But we are such a small piece of this pie. Those animators that work on that movie, they worked on the movie five years and the detail that goes into it like, forkys arms are made out of pipe cleaners jimmy yeah yeah. Oh, yeah, right here jimmy theres forky. They said its, like, almost, like, 500,000 bristles they had to put on to those arms to, like, for the detail. Jimmy to make them look so realistic. Yeah. Jimmy its unbelievable what theyre doing the artistry, they really just worked their its just such an act of love. And i its just beautiful jimmy and how did they come up with the name forky cause hes really [ laughter ] no, im serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy because its a spork its a spork. And that was actually that was a part of forkys existential crisis because hes like, a, im not a toy. And b, im a spork im not a fork. [ light laughter ] but the guy, josh cooley, who directed the movie, i think he was asking his son, like, what should i name him . And the kids like, fork face [ light laughter ] and theyre like, eh, its a little close or something. [ laughter ] jimmy you cant call him fork face. I dont think we should do that lets not do that. Thats no good jimmy motherforker [ laughter ] okay, no, we cant no, were not doing any of that. And so the little girl who creates forky, she didnt know what a spork was so she only knew a fork. And so she called her forky. Jimmy yeah, and now did you see a bunch of people dressing up as your character for halloween . Yeah. Yeah, i put a little i gave a little do you have, like, a little jimmy yeah, i have a thing oh, yeah, its right here [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, its on your instagram account. These are look at these arent these great [ laughter ] and im not going to lie, a little terrifying right here [ laughter ] jimmy a little yeah theres a lot going on. Jimmy you think . Yeah oh, yeah isnt that crazy . Jimmy thats phenomenal. I know. That really is jimmy but now its even its gotten even bigger now, because youre doing a new show yeah. [ french accent jimmy on disney plus on disney plus. Jimmy yeah its a beautiful show jimmy beautiful, beautiful disney plus oh, i love disney plus. [ french gibberish ] and so its called forky [ laughter ] jimmy sorry, sorry, sorry. I love it jimmy sorry. I love it its called forky asks a question. Jimmy yeah because when he came into the world his forkys whole thing is, like, im here to help people eat chili. And then i go to the trash. [ laughter ] thats it. Thats a one way street. Jimmy yeah and woody comes along and hes like, no, youre made youre a toy youre made to be loved and to love. And so then forkys like, all right, i got a lot of questions. And so in this little series he just asks questions. Like, what is cheese . [ laughter ] hes like, what is love what is money . What is art . Jimmy hes just learning he even says, like, what is a friend . And he makes a friend with a a coffee cup cause hes like, im a spork, i can talk so maybe this cup can talk. It did not end well. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah but hes just like, you know, hes just totally lovable. Jimmy i loved you in the movie. And i loved whole idea of forky, that he loves trash loves trash he its warm. Its cushy [ light laughter ] and so the whole his whole time, hes just trying to get back to the trash. Jimmy yeah thats where he thinks he should live. Oh, yeah, he loves it jimmy yeah, how many times did you say trash in that oh, a lot of times. [ light laughter ] a lot of times many different, many different ways jimmy you brought us a a clip oh, yeah, i did jimmy of you saying trash over and over again. Yeah. Jimmy recording for the movie toy story 4. Lets take a look. Trash trash. Trash. Trash, trash [ laughter ] trash. Ttttrash. Trash. Trash, trash, trash, trash, trash, trash, trash, trash ah, ah, trash. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy thats how you do it thats how you do it. Jimmy that is how you do it disney plus. So, this new show is on disney plus mmhmm. Jimmy its called forky asks a question. Lets take a look at the show. Well, forky, money is an accepted means by which one may purchase goods and services. Uhhuh. There are many denominations. Uhhuh. Each minted in either philadelphia, denver, or san francisco. Look what i can do. [ light laughter ] same direction try it and, if you would, cast your attention over here. This is a quarter. One fourth of a dollar wow, that looks like a lady no. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy tony hale, everybody [ cheers and applause forky asks a question is streaming now on disney well be right back with a a performance from dominic fike stick around [ cheers and applause follow me to a place i know with Endless Possibilities so you can check your list off rowbyrow. 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[ cheers and applause can you break bread with m break bread with me [ cheers and applause break break can you break brea with me break bread with me woah kenny so baby why you not here with m can you break bread with m you switch phone numbers like clothe yes i flew my shawty from florida to hollywood thought some gold looked big on me got some goals its a list on me look boy im ric i roll you the strippers tend to stroll playin their tricks on me the stones feel different you you mad do they from tiffany please keep my nam out your mouth and you wonder why why im not there with yo so baby why you not here with me can you break bread with m you switch phones on me like clothe so why you not here with m why why can you break bread with m why you switch phone numbers like clothe why you cant answer m yeah why because i got mor can you break bread with m break break bread with me [ cheers and applause break break can you break bread with m break bread with me shawty from round me she been all in my busines as of late i got rich so fast they want this bread cant catch a and yo i know youre tired of hatin im tired of starin at you someone retaliat we can go tit for tat today thats on my mam thats on big sean thats on lil a from f. L out here in l. A. Tryna make this tryna wrap this cas thats a whole 120 to the magistrate for my parents sak and you still talkin bou sharing cake thats craz why you not here with me can you break bread with me break bread with m phone numbers like clothes break break can you break bread with m clothes break bread with me baby why you not here with m what can you break bread with me [ cheers and applause and why you switc phone numbers like clothes why you cant dance with me break bread with me break break bread with me can you break bread with me [ cheers and applause jimmy gosh, thats how you do it. Thats how you do it right there, buddy dominic fike, come on. [ cheers and applause phone numbers is out now well be right back, everybody [ cheers and applause we made usaa insurance for members like kate. A former army medic, made of the flexibility to handle whatever monday has in store and tackle four things at once. So when her car got hit, she didnt worry. She simply filed a claim on her usaa app and said. I got this. Usaa insurance is made the way kate needs it easy. She can even pick her payment plan so its easy on her budget and her life. Usaa. What youre made of, were made for. Usaa [ cheers and applause jimmy my thanks to Rachel Maddow, tony hale, dominic fike, once again [ cheers and applause and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania [ cheers and applause stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow byebye. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight sebastian maniscalco, chat and music from liz phair, featuring the 8g band with Chris Johnson [ cheers and applause ladies and genemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause seth that is wonderful to hear in that case, lets get to the news today was the first time in over 20 years that congress has held a public impeachment hearing and if this one is anything like the last one, trump will be