Too long, promise you come back, because i will be pissed if you dont come back, you better come back. Anyway, we have a ton of stuff to catch up on. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world this is the daily distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with the only story anyone is talking about. The miami heat beat the lakers did you stee jimmy butler insane, triple double, 40 points, yo. Obviously im joking. The real big new this weekend was the premier league. Man united love, and liverpoolason v be like if the cowboys got beaten by the brown, that was the craziest news. All right, but for real, for real, obviously there is only onestory that anyone in the world cares about right now. Breaking news. The president has tests positive for the coronavirus. Revealing his diagnosis in a late night tweet saying he and the first lady have covid19 and will quarantine immediately. Breaking overnight
The first lady have covid19 and will quarantine immediately. Breaking overnight President Trump this morning at Walter Reed Medical Center. The president s medical team is insisting is he doing well and is receiving doses of the experimental drug remdesivir and steroids. His doctors are also saying he could be released from the hospital as early as today. Trevor thats right, people. Donald j. Trump, president of the United States is battling covid19. And before i say anything else can i just say on the record, i do want donald trump to die from this. I dont wish death on anyone. And especially not donald trump. I dont want him to lose his life, you want him to lose his election. Also i dont want him to die because mike pence would be president and then we might be dead because pick pence is the post boring person on the planet, the most boring person around the trump. If trump is cocaine, mike pence is a flower. Your nose will still burn but fog cool happens. The whole reason people ch
From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor lets kick things off with the Supreme Court. The worlds most exclusive retirement moment in. The meet aftermath of Ruth Bader Ginsburgs death, mitch mcconnell, Senate Majority leader and failed attempt at baking bread, has announced that he would allow President Trump to nominate her replacement, even though he had blocked barack obama from appointing Merrick Garland during an election year, but democrats still held a shred of hopet that they could persuade four moderate g. O. P. Senators to show some integrity and stick to their principles, and that hope lasted almost a full day and a half. Senate Majority Leader Mitch Mcconnell secured zero votes to move ahead with the appointment of the Supreme Court. Mitt romney said trevor yes, my friends, even mitt romney, the dad you ask when your other republican dads say no is going along with Mitch Mcconne
So go ahead, america. Whenever you pass by harley riders like us, roll down your window and yell, faggots all you kids out there, when you see us, walk up to us and say, hello, fags no, really. We want you to. At least were cool enough to embrace who we are. Right, guys . Thats right yeah, yeah you got it, yeah come on, fags, lets roll out [imitating motorcycles] and that, mr. Editor, is why they are the true definition of fags. Let there be no perplexity, those individuals are the legitimate faggots the definition shall be replaced [cheers and applause] we did it yeah, we did it, you guys oh, its over its finally over today weve made history. Whats going on, everybody . Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is monday, the 14th of september, which means we are now just 50 days away from election day, which means youve got just enough time to build your bunker for when the postelection civil war begins. Yay make sure to include toilet paper. Someone bought a
California and how putin and trump are in a race to release the least trustworthy vaccine. Lets do this. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor lets kick things off in california. The only state where botox is considered an essential service. This years wildfire season has been one of the worst in history with dozens of fires burning a record 2 million acres. And now were finding out that one of this weekends biggest blazes started in one of the dumbest ways possible. Crews continue battling dozens of raging wildfires in california. Officials say one of the fires, the el dorado in San Bernardino county started after pyrotechnics were used in a gender reveal party. Scorched thousands of acres. Only 7 contained as of late last night. No word of any charges related to the fire. Trevor ive said it before and ill say it again, these gender reveals