From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor lets kick things off with the Supreme Court. The worlds most exclusive retirement moment in. The meet aftermath of Ruth Bader Ginsburgs death, mitch mcconnell, Senate Majority leader and failed attempt at baking bread, has announced that he would allow President Trump to nominate her replacement, even though he had blocked barack obama from appointing Merrick Garland during an election year, but democrats still held a shred of hopet that they could persuade four moderate g. O. P. Senators to show some integrity and stick to their principles, and that hope lasted almost a full day and a half. Senate Majority Leader Mitch Mcconnell secured zero votes to move ahead with the appointment of the Supreme Court. Mitt romney said trevor yes, my friends, even mitt romney, the dad you ask when your other republican dads say no is going along with Mitch Mcconnells plan. And i know, some people were holding out hope that he would refuse to help the republicans push through before the election, but for some reason people always forget mitt romney is still a conservative senator from one of the most conservative states. People think mitt romney came into the senate with a pussy hat on but, no. Getting a majority on the Supreme Court is what romney and other republicans have been dreaming about for 50 years. On his bedroom wall growing up, he had a poster of superman, a horse and an empty seat on the Supreme Court. Theres nothing democrats can do to stop mcconnell. Now they get revenge. The democratic leadership vowing to fight back even considering increasing the number of judges on the Supreme Court. We first have to win the majority before that can happen, but once we win the majority, god willing, everything is on the table. Mitch mcconnell, we need to tell him that he is playing with fire. So i asked biden a hypothetical question, would he consider adding more seats to the Supreme Court . Its a legitimate question but let me tell you why im not going to answer that question because it will shift all the focus. He never wants to talk about the issue at hand, he always tries to change the subject. Lets say i answer that question, then the whole debates going to be what biden said or didnt say. Biden said he would or wouldnt. Trevor oooh this is an interesting tactic from joe biden you see, he knows his best chance of beating trump is if the issues are coronavirus and getting america back to normal. So to avoid a messy conversation about packing the Supreme Court, hes just refusing to answer the question, which is pretty slick. Where were you on the night that the murder took place . That is a great question. However, if i answer that, then the only thing the courtroom will be talking about is whether im guilty or not or my alibi checks out. Its going to be like a whole thing, so im going to pass. Trump should also refuse to answer questions about any issues that arent good for him, like the coronavirus response, healthcare, Climate Change, education, race relations, foreign affairs, income inequality, taxes, corruption in his administration, his weird relationship with president putin but even if biden doesnt want to charge into this debate, other democrats definitely do, and some of them are threatening that if republicans go through with filling r. B. G. s seat, then when democrats win back the senate, theyll just add more seats to the Supreme Court aka, court packing. Which is one way to bring balance to the court. Although, obviously, once the republicans get back in power, then theyll add more justices to the court. Which is why i think democrats should just cut to the chase and make everyone in america a Supreme Court justice. Because of corona most of us are comfortable working in robes anyway, a seamless transition. Lets be honest, knowing what we know about democrats, aint shit gonna happen. When democrats say, everything is on the table then watch out, republicans, youre about to get a sternly worded email to whom it may concern bitches good luck enjoying your 40yearold on the Supreme Court after that but lets move on to the coronavirus. The worst thing to come out of china since your iphone battery. As people have been returning to school and activities are moving indoors with the cooler weather, cases have been spiking in countries around the globe. Almost nowhere worse than the United States, where the number of covid deaths just hit an astonishing 200,000, far more than any other country in the world. Which really makes you question whether or not failing to do even the bare minimum is an effective strategy to combat the disease. Though i will say this, i truly believe that with this president and the right sharpie, we can bring that number down to just two. Now, if youre wondering why the pandemic has been so hard to get under control in the u. S. , take what happened yesterday when one protrump politician tried to make face masks great again. At a trump campaign, ohios governor john huston was booed for talking about wearing masks. But if you have to go to a Grocery Store where you have to wear one booing all right i get it but if somebody tell us to take it off, you can at least say youre trying to save the country by wearing one of Donald Trumps masks, all right . booing all right. Wow. Trevor wow this crowd booed even when the Lieutenant Governor was promoting trump masks. I guess we finally found the limits of maga loyalty. Trump can shoot someone on fifth avenue and they dont care, but if he puts on a mask those people will eat him alive. I really love how these trump people are the same ones who always talk about liberals getting triggered. Yet when they see a threeinch piece of cloth they have a meltdown. No aaahhh i would rather be the reason thousands of people die than have cloth on my face and this poor guy reminded me of a guidance councillor at school. Remember when the councillors would come and try to convince teens to use condoms . Okay, now i know you kids dont think protection is cool but what if i did a rap about it . Someone drop a beat. You suck trevor more of an insult but i can work with that. Its silly not to wrap your willie but its not just people at trump rallies who arent taking coronavirus as serious as they should, the pentagon has priorities. The pentagon used 1 billion used for personal protective equipment to make jet engine parts and body armort that. Comes to a third of the pandemic relief this year. The Washington Post says the pentagon gave money to prepare for the virus. The Defense Department made the payments, even though Health Officials believe there are major funding gaps in responding to the pandemic. Trevor okay. Either the pentagon just doesnt give after shit or they heard that corona is airborne and took it way too literally. But in the pentagons defense, in the defense of the defense get it . In the pentagons defense, weve all been there. I mean, who hasnt spent money on stuff that was supposed to go towards Something Else . You know, like when your mom sent you out to buy milk but instead you just watered down the milk left at home and used the money to buy a pet hamster from the kid down the block who just had a litter. In the pentagons case, people could end up dying instead of just a hamster. Fenwick, im so sorry. I guess i wasnt ready for the responsibility crying ill miss you, buddy. I mean, think about it, americas infrastructure is literally falling apart. Schools are a disaster, millions of people dont even have basic healthcare. Whats the point of having a defense if theres nothing left to defend . The United States spends so much money on weapons im starting to think it would be cheaper to bribe other countries not to go to war. Why does the u. S. Need more fighter jets . Coronavirus has killed way more americans than any terrorist group. I bet i. S. I. S. Is looking at covid like, damn, i know we said death to america but you guys are extreme moving to florida. With President Trump accusing democratic states of being coo soft on political protesters, the republican governor of florida is now taking steps to ensure that will never happen in his state. Florida Governor Ron Desantis moving to crack down on people who resort to violence during protests. Monday he unveiled for a proposal for a new law called the combating violence disorder and looting and Law Enforcement protection act. The bill would increase penalties for crimes committed during protests and withhold state funding for any local municipalities that defund the police. There is a major calling for drivers to not be charged should they happen to kill or injure a protester with their vehicles while fleeing for safety from a mob. The proposal would make participating in a violent protest a third degree felony and people who destroy property could face charges. The bill could unfairly lead to people not involved being arrested and charged with felonies. Trevor a lot going on in the bill. First of all as the aclu points out, this bill would make it a felony to be at a protest where anyone else at the protest commits a crime. An amazing double standard, if you ask me. If anyone in a protest gets violence, everyone is a criminal . But if a Police Officer beats someone at that protest, well, hes just a bad apple, you cant blame the whole police force for that. Just a few bad apples, am i right . Also, lets be real, saying anyone is now free to kill protesters with their car if they were fleeing from a mob is just going to give people license to run down protestors whenever they want. This is basically stand your ground but for cause. And i know for a fact, i dont want to get run over because someone is sick of waiting in protest traffic. No, if im getting run over, its because james corden wasnt paying attention during car pool karaoke. Thats a fun way to die. singing the truth is, if anyone is in danger here, its the protesters, not the drivers. At the height of protests this year, drivers hit protesters with their cars 66 times, so apparently the response to this from the governor of florida is, well, this thing is getting really popular, we better legalize it so republicans are replacing r. B. G. , coronavirus deaths are only going up, and in florida pretty soon its going to be legal to play in the streets. You probably just wish you could hop on a plane and take an exotic vacation. Heres the solution to the first half of that problem. It may have been the fastest selling flight in qantas history, a 7hour trip around australia where you dont get off the planet at all. Demand is high, tickets sold out in ten minutes. The date of this flight to nowhere and back is october 10 and the plane is a boeing 787 dreamliner, one usually reserved for international travel. This time, though, its a long, local cruise. Flights like these have become more common in recent months. In july taipeis airport begun ththe first of three flights to nowhere where passengers got on board a plane and it never took off. Royal did a dine and fly flight in august. Singapore airlines is also considering a new route as well to nowhere. Trevor so you buy a plane ticket, go to the airport and five hours later youre at the same airport . Guys, la guardia has been offering that for years, not to mention seems like a giant f. U. To Climate Change and greta thunberg. Look, greta, times you have to fly. People are, like, yeah, i dont have to go anywhere. I just want to watch big bang on a tiny screen. Is that sheldon . The one upside is you dont have to bring any luggage. Though knowing most airlines, theyll still figure out a way to lose your luggage anyway. But i didnt bring luggage. Yes, i understand, sir, and now that luggage is somehow in malaysia. Well give you a 25 voucher to buy yourself an outfit and call you when the bags arrive, okay . Flying is only part of the air travel experience which is why leo devlin has a new service for you. Did the coronavirus cancel your Summer Vacation . You were going to see the world now youre stuck at home seeing your uglyass kids. Well, pack your bags because guess what . You cant go to a tropical resort, but you can still go to the airport. Introducing leo devlins airport at home. Thats right, ill give you all the stress, frustration and boredom of flying in your house. Ill make your crib feel like you was at la guardia. Ill inspect your suitcase and throw half of it out. No shirts over three ounces. Is that shampoo . Give me that, little boy. You aint blowing up my plane. Or stop by the cafe, while you view the worldsing soiest sandwich. That will be 40. Ill take up every outlet so you cant charge your phone. And whats that on your tv . Netflix . Nope. Now its cnn on mute. And when youve had enough, ill give you back your suitcase with the weird wet spot on it. Could be blood. Order now and ill let in some random birds to fly around your ceiling all day. It aint but 85. You can get that from your momma. Exit 120 by the fairgrounds. Barbering institute temporary closed due to covid. Trevor when we come back, desi lydic has a zoom call with lou dobbs on fox news, so stick who are you . Youre so me. Thanks captain obvious. Im you from the future here to warn you about 2020. It cant be that bad, right . Lets just say it gets a bit dramatic. Theres no toilet paper, Hand Sanitizer or sports, oh and trips were cancelled. What . . listen just choose free cancellation on hotels. Com because no one knows what the future holds. Anything else . Were bald ms. Williams weve been working hard. Ms. Robinson . To make learning fun again. Ms. Duncan and making sure our students can succeed. Ms. Zamora were with you every step of the way. Ms. Robinson i know its a challenging time. Ms. Zamora no one wants to be back in the classroom more than teachers. Ms. Williams we have missed you so much. Mr. Hardesty but we all have to be safe. Ms. Robinson because were all in this together. Narrator making our School Buildings safer. Ms. Robinson working together, we can make it a great year. Narrator because the California Teachers Association knows quality Public Schools make a better california for all of us. Quality Public Schools but she wanted someone who loves with the cats. Ng. So, we got griswalda. Dinners almost ready. But one thing we could both agree on was getting geico to help with our renters insurance. Yeah, switching and saving was really easy drink it all up. Good could have used a little salt. Visit geico. Com and see how easy saving on renters insurance can be. Only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. This was the theater i came to quite often. The support weve had over the last few months has been amazing. Its not just a work environment. Everyone here is family. If you are ready to open your heart and your home, check us out. We thought for sure that we were done. And this town said not today. Trevor welcome back to the daily social distancing show. In these corona times, everyone is keeping in touch with their relatives using zoom calls, and that includes our own desi lydic whos actually related to lou dobbs from fox news. Yeah, hes her third uncle on her roommates side by marriage. So recently desi checked in with uncle lou to see how hes doing. Hey, uncle lou. Im so glad were catching up. Oh, my god i love your zoom background. So cool. So sick of seeing the same old boring backgrounds. Theyre not even inventive or original. Golden gate bridge, boring anyway, enough about zoom. House of your day . President trump today had a great day, a day that any president could only dream of. Oh, well, i kind of wanted to know about you, but i guess if President Trump started off the day with a nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize okay, sure, guess thats exciting. Its an extraordinary, as you say, commendation from the Nobel Committee and an honor he fully deserves. Trevor i get it, youre i get it youre proud of the president. What about your kids . I hear theyre back in school. Why did you send them back. The president pledging to restore Patriotic Education . Our schools. You mean like the constitution. Right. Yeah, thats important to learn about. Until this president , there was no discussion of it. Okay, thats definitely not true. Look, uncle lou, can i just be honest with you for a second . I will i it were your point of view in all things. Good, because i have to tell you, i think you have a bit of an obsession with donald trump. Am i right . It defy thinks kind of logic, reason or decency. Yes i know it has me worried about you. It has the whole family worried. Youre even starting to look like him. Here. The hair, the skin. Its delusion of one kind or another. Exactly. And its becoming extremely dangerous, in my opinion. Your thoughts. Yes, its dangerous, and unhealthy im so glad youre finally seeing it. Oh, this is a really big day for you. It was a day of many gifts for President Trump with 55 days till the election, new polling shows President Trump has kept joe bidens lead in half. My god, i thought we were having a breakthrough. Okay, take care, uncle lou, im going to go have about s