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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170907

A really fascinating young man. You will want to stay for that. First, donald trump has a surprise, not talking about tax returns. laughter before leaving office, barack obama left trump a note in the oval office. Trump told us he got the note but he well, you know trump. I just went to the oval office and found this beautiful letter from president obama. It was really very nice of him to do that, and we will cherish that and we will keep that, and we wont even tell the press whats in that letter. Trevor that was the third day of Donald Trumps presidency back when he had that new president smell, that was like 18 scandals ago. Remember that . laughter trump said he was going to keep the letter from the press, so the guy is a man of his word so i guess well never know. President trump has since shown that letter to his white house visitors. crying i wish that letter was president its so much more qualified crying laughter i dont know even know if Trump Realizes it, but that letter is ju

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170510

Aah oh, its bad excuse me,ids, i need to runaah ow i put a lot of arbys horsey sauce on those. Mkay, can somebody get me someaper towels . Or maybe aaah, mkay ooh, its bad congratulations, lemmiwin anks to you, private lives will stay private. Yes, we are all free once again to make teenagers do bass to mouth. Just one question, lemmiwinks. How does it feel to have killed your o brother . [lemmiwinks squeaking] lelemmiwinks . Hes devastated. Ye hes devastated. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in. Im trevor noah. My guest tonight here to talk about his new movie king arthur, Djimon Hounsou is here, everybody cheers and applause such a big fan of his. And speaking of kings, my friends, trumps getting closer. Breaking news jim comey is out at the f. B. I. The f. B. I. Director james comey has been fired. Today President Donald Trump informed f

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170510

Aah oh, its bad excuse me,ids, i need to runaah ow i put a lot of arbys horsey sauce on those. Mkay, can somebody get me someaper towels . Or maybe aaah, mkay ooh, its bad congratulations, lemmiwin anks to you, private lives will stay private. Yes, we are all free once again to make teenagers do bass to mouth. Just one question, lemmiwinks. How does it feel to have killed your o brother . [lemmiwinks squeaking] lelemmiwinks . Hes devastated. Ye hes devastated. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in. Im trevor noah. My guest tonight here to talk about his new movie king arthur, Djimon Hounsou is here, everybody cheers and applause such a big fan of his. And speaking of kings, my friends, trumps getting closer. Breaking news jim comey is out at the f. B. I. The f. B. I. Director james comey has been fired. Today President Donald Trump informed f

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170302

And the priest puts ashes on your forehead. Then you wear at this time rest of the day to show everybody what a good person you are. Somebody told me my mother is here and she has, i think she might put mascara on her head, like extra. To make sure that i can see and it to remind me that i didnt to go church today. Working on hollywood boulevard, it is hard to tell who went to church and who just put on their filthy darth vader helmet. Are you giving up anything . Red meat. Jimmy why are you giving up red meat . Partly for health reasons. Jimmy i was thinking, what would i miss most . Youre supposed to make a sacrifice. I think what i would miss most on a daily basis is q tips. I love them so much. Im going to try to go cold turkey. Im going tipless for 40 days. And then at likes 6 00 a. M. On easter sunday, im going nuts. Ill tell you something [ applause ] jimmy thank you. That im certainly not giving up for lent. That is dancing with the stars. Sorry, god but no way. Season 245 of d

Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170302

And the priest puts ashes on your forehead. Then you wear at this time rest of the day to show everybody what a good person you are. Somebody told me my mother is here and she has, i think she might put mascara on her head, like extra. To make sure that i can see and it to remind me that i didnt to go church today. Working on hollywood boulevard, it is hard to tell who went to church and who just put on their filthy darth vader helmet. Are you giving up anything . Red meat. Jimmy why are you giving up red meat . Partly for health reasons. Jimmy i was thinking, what would i miss most . Youre supposed to make a sacrifice. I think what i would miss most on a daily basis is q tips. I love them so much. Im going to try to go cold turkey. Im going tipless for 40 days. And then at easter sunday, im going nuts. Ill tell you something [ applause ] jimmy thank you. That im certainly not giving up for lent. That is dancing with the stars. Sorry, god but no way. Season 245 of dancing with the star

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