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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20171020

Goodbye . You still have another show to do. Trevor of course. Wait. Youre alive. Why are you talking to me from the clouds . Because im oprah, baby i do what i want trevor wow. From chicago, the city thats apparently too good for normal pizza, its the daily show undesked with trevor noah cheers and applause trevor whats going on, chicago . cheers and applause thank you so much, everybody welcome welcome, everybody welcome to the daily show in chicago our final night you guys have been amazing all week im trevor noah and i could not be more excited. Weve got a great, great show for you tonight. cheers and applause thank you so much. Take a seat, everybody. You guys have been amazing. Thank you so much. Weve had a great day. Our final show, our guest, i could not be more excited, rapper and chicago native vic mensa is joining us, everybody cheers and applause were going to have a fun conversation with him. And can i just say, after watching last nights baseball game, i hope the cubs win

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20171020

If you know what im saying. Yeah, see you guys later. Come on, boys, youre holdin up the bus. Oh, wow, look, its kenny g himself. Thank you for a wonderful concert, mr. G. Ggoodbye. Oh, well, thank you. You know, its funny, you kiss just like my dad. Well, miss crabtree, this certainly has been a great trip. Lets head home. Which way should we go . Second star to the right and straight on till morning. Tower. Goodbye wrigley field. Goodbye pharmacy on the corner. Trevor Trevor Noah Trevor oprah. Is that you . Trevor, why are you saying goodbye . You still have another show to do. Trevor of course. Wait. Youre alive. Why are you talking to me from the clouds . Because im oprah, baby i do what i want trevor wow. From chicago, the city thats apparently too good for normal pizza, its the daily show undesked with trevor noah cheers and applause trevor whats going on, chicago . cheers and applause thank you so much, everybody welcome welcome, everybody welcome to the daily show in chicago ou

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20160504

Teds dad had ties to lee harvey oswald. Jesus christ, you guys. Between this and all of ted cruzs zodiac killing, the cruz family offed they off laughter this is true this is true. Dont mess me up. They offed more people in the 60s and 70s than vietnam oh, now it got sad. I know what youre thinking, larry stop it. Ted cruz is not a killer. Okay, well, then you tell me what he was trying to do with Carly Fiorina here. Ted cruz applause when you see it with your own eyes, it feels a little different, doesnt it . Okay, but you might be saying, larry, Carly Fiorina just fell. Okay, dre, dre, show us the other angle we have on that. Its all starting to come together now. And now youre saying larry, you just put that simpsons clip in front of her falling theres no connection between mr. Burns and ted cruz. Oh, really . Oh, really . Okay, well, then explain this excellent laughter applause larry why is it mr. Burns actually seems more human than ted cruz . Have no idea. Moving on. Theres some

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20160504

cheers and applause larry thank you very much thank you welcome to the show thank you very much. Too kind. Welcome to the nightly show. I am larry wilmore. Big indiana primary tonight. Earlier fox and friends had donald trump on the show discussing his major foe, ted cruz. Hmmm, lets see what important election issues they covered. His father was with Lee Harvey Oswald prior to oswalds being, you know, shot. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous. What is this, right prior to his being shot, and nobody even brings it up. I mean, they dont even talk about that. That was reported, and nobody talks about it. laughter larry nobody talks about it because its not news or is it . The National Enquirer claims teds dad had ties to Lee Harvey Oswald. Jesus christ, you guys. Between this and all of ted cruzs zodiac killing, the cruz family offed they off laughter this is true this is true. Dont mess me up. They offed more people in the 60s and 70s than vietnam oh, now it got sad. I know what youre

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20160504

I am larry wilmore. Big indiana primary tonight. Earlier fox and friends had donald trump on the show discussing his major foe, ted cruz. Hmmm, lets see what important election issues they covered. His father was with Lee Harvey Oswald prior to oswalds being, you know, shot. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous. What is this, right prior to his being shot, and nobody even brings it up. I mean, they dont even talk about that. That was reported, and nobody talks about it. laughter larry nobody talks about it because its not news or is it . The National Enquirer claims teds dad had ties to Lee Harvey Oswald. Jesus christ, you guys. Between this and all of ted cruzs zodiac killing, the cruz family offed they off laughter this is true this is true. Dont mess me up. They offed more people in the 60s and 70s than vietnam oh, now it got sad. I know what youre thinking, larry stop it. Ted cruz is not a killer. Okay, well, then you tell me what he was trying to do with Carly Fiorina here. Ted c

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