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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

[grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something Else [grunting loudly] [school bell rings] [groans] dude, what happened . Youre not doing the morning announcements anymore . No, because it turns out that by rule, the student body president cant also be the morning announcement reader oh, well. At least as president , you can run the school the way you want. I cant do jack i went to my First Student Council Meeting all we did was talk about what colors to make the stupid Sadie Hawkins dance Student Council is retarded [chime sounding] the sun is up, and the birds are chirping. Im casey miller, and these are the morning announcements. I have a letter from second Grade Student brian felner. Brian writes, dear casey, why is our School President such a fat, stupid dickhead . My desk is broken, and so far, eric cartman has done nothing about it. Will you please let that walking bowl of anus pus know that we are not happy . Well, brian, i couldnt agree more. Our

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Christmas tree. And just like Everything Else in 2020, thissiers tree is doing the best it can. The Rockefeller Christmas tree in new york city is usually lifts our spirits this time of year. But this area well lets just say that by 2020 standards, its pretty perfect. The tree was put into place atop of rockefeller center. Look at all the holes and it just kind of, i dont know, it kind of loosks look a very, like a Charlie Brown tree, like a large version of the Charlie Brown tree. Trevor into, no, no, no. You leave that poor tree alone. You already killed if, now you are going to make fun of its appearance. Who are you people, do you do this at funerals too, damn, uncle mark, you got fat, look at you, you cant even fit in that casket, anyway, rest in peace, were going to miss you. I mean think about it, that tree has been through a pandemic, a race war and a contested election. I think it deserves a round of applause for just staying upright. And by the way, its not like that tree ask

Transcripts For KNTV Today 20240711

The president fires one of his own top officials, the man in charge of Election Security out in an overnight tweet after saying november 3rd was the most secure election in u. S. History. And with the president s legal claims fizzling around the country, the Top Senate Republican vows an orderly transfer of power. All of it will happen right on time and well swear in the next administration on january 20th. Cleared for takeoff. This morning boeing 737 max set to receive the green light to fly again nearly two years after fatal crashes grounded the fleet worldwide. Straight head, the changes being made to get them back in the sky. Panic mode. Empty shelves in stores from coast to coast once again as people stock up on essential fly supplies. Buying up everything hurts everybody. Why Officials Say that the supply chain is solid. No parade . New orleans cancels its traditional mardi gras celebration, but there is a way that you can help keep the iconic party going, today, wednesday, novem

Transcripts For KNTV NBC Bay Area News At 11 20240712

Safe. We are in danville tonight with more. Reporter this is what the early voter found, this photo from a social media post was shared with us by the registrar of voters. He was called to the site this afternoon where he met the concerned voter who found the open ballot box. I personally went and inspected the box and it had about 100 ballots in it that were deposited within the hour that it wasnt completely secured. Reporter he said they had actually been at that and several other boxes in the area. Many were jammed pull of ballots. The Deputy Registrar says leaving the box unlocked is an embarrassing mistake. I was just coming to put my ballot in the box. Im very upset. Its disturbing. This is what were all worried about. Reporter the Deputy Registrar of voters says he doesnt believe anyone swiped or tampered with the ballots. But anyone who has concerns can track their ballot online. If they have any questions they can call the registrars office. If there is any reason a ballot is

Transcripts For KTVU KTVU Mornings On 2 At 430am 20240712

June 21st and we start the process. 50s and other times to san jose 60 in santa rosa at 54 and its a summer forecast. 60s to mid 90s for some and morning fog breezy to windy for some and a cool coast and its hot inland with an onshore breeze or wind with gusts to 30 at travis already from the west southwest. That will do it. A good solid fog bank will retreat and we have 60s by the coast and 70s around the bay and 80s and 90s inland. Over to sal now. Anything . Or is it still quiet . There is not a lot going on. One of the things i noticed here is traffic is doing very well if you are driving at the macarthur maze for example traffics moving along nicely with no major problems. Traffic looks good on 580 coming into oakland. Its 4 31 a. M. And lets go back to the headlines. Santa clara county is adding two more pop up Testing Centers for the coronavirus brick starting tomorrow 57 places to be tested across the county protests are free and no appointments are needed and you dont need to

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