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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130722

Stephen hey, welcome, everybody. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. Stephen, stephen, stephen tephen thank you very much. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Good to have you with us in here, out there, all around the world. And, folks, good to have me with us because for the last two weeks i was on vacation as you might have guessed from this savage tan. Im so dark that when i take my shirt off, you can barely see my veins and organs. Now, it leaves a little more to the imagination. Now, i wont brag about how i spent my vacation, but lets just say someones got the inside track on deputy finance minister of egypt. Of course back here in the states, people have been obsessed with the George Zimmerman murder trial. People are tracking it like it was a black teenager in a gated community. And on saturday. I know. People are excited. And on saturday, we got justice. We the jury find
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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130716

John thats it for tonights daily show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. If we have any technology left. Tomorrow night at 11 00. Sorry, jon. Ive broken the show. [laughter] and this is your moment of zen. [audience humming daily captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen hey, welcome, everybody. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. Stephen, stephen, stephen tephen thank you very much. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Good to have you with us in here, out there, all around the world. And, folks, good to have me with us because for the last two weeks i was on vacation as you might have guessed from this savage tan. Im so dark that when i take my shirt off, you can barely see my veins and organs. Now, it leaves a little more to the imagination. Now, i wont brag about how i spent my vacation, but lets just say someones got the inside track on deputy finance minister of egypt. Of c ....

New York , United States , District Of Columbia , City Of , United Kingdom , San Francisco , George Zimmerman , Martin Lawrence , Trayvon Martin , Lynn Harrell , Joe Biden , Jeremy Scahill , Tyler Perry , Charles Manson , Geraldo Rivera , Al Capone , Comedy Central , Just Say , Mainstream Media , One Man , Legal Correspondent , Point White , Point Joe , White People , Just Stop , Lawrence Tyler ,

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130716

John thats it for tonights daily show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. If we have any technology left. Tomorrow night at 11 00. Sorry, jon. Ive broken the show. [laughter] and this is your moment of zen. [audience humming daily captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen hey, welcome, everybody. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. Stephen, stephen, stephen tephen thank you very much. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Good to have you with us in here, out there, all around the world. And, folks, good to have me with us because for the last two weeks i was on vacation as you might have guessed from this savage tan. Im so dark that when i take my shirt off, you can barely see my veins and organs. Now, it leaves a little more to the imagination. Now, i wont brag about how i spent my vacation, but lets just say someones got the inside track on deputy finance minister of egypt. Of c ....

New York , United States , District Of Columbia , City Of , United Kingdom , San Francisco , George Zimmerman , Martin Lawrence , Trayvon Martin , Lynn Harrell , Joe Biden , Jeremy Scahill , Tyler Perry , Charles Manson , Geraldo Rivera , Al Capone , Comedy Central , Just Say , Mainstream Media , One Man , Legal Correspondent , Point White , Point Joe , White People , Just Stop , Lawrence Tyler ,

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130716

[audience humming daily captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen hey, welcome, everybody. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. Stephen, stephen, stephen tephen thank you very much. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Good to have you with us in here, out there, all around the world. And, folks, good to have me with us because for the last two weeks i was on vacation as you might have guessed from this savage tan. Im so dark that when i take my shirt off, you can barely see my veins and organs. Now, it leaves a little more to the imagination. Now, i wont brag about how i spent my vacation, but lets just say someones got the inside track on deputy finance minister of egypt. Of course back here in the states, people have been obsessed with the George Zimmerman murder trial. People are tracking it like it was a black teenage ....

New York , United States , District Of Columbia , City Of , United Kingdom , San Francisco , George Zimmerman , Martin Lawrence , Trayvon Martin , Lynn Harrell , Joe Biden , Jeremy Scahill , Tyler Perry , Charles Manson , Geraldo Rivera , Al Capone , Comedy Central , Just Say , Mainstream Media , One Man , Legal Correspondent , Point White , Point Joe , White People , Just Stop , Lawrence Tyler ,

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130717

Stephen great analysis, and it proves this was a fair trial. As the bill of rights clearly states, the accused shall be tried by a jury of people who would have done. Who would have done the murder faster. But, folks, even though justice was served that did not stop some americans from rudely accepting it back to the kitchen, taking to the streets to protest socalled racial inequality. Knock it off because yes, america had racial inequality but by my latest calculations, its evidently. It is now a tie. [ cheers and applause ] stick with me. Stick with me. Heres how it breaks down. Obviously zimmermans acquittal is seen as a point for white people. ding . Then again, o. J. s acquittal was one for black people. ding . Obama, with two black points, one for each election ding, ding . And whites lose one point for joe biden. buzzer of course for the previous 43 white president s. [ cheers and applause ] for the previous 4 white president s, white people accumulated one point. ding now, jazz ....

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