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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

These loosely assembled dog chews will make you drool. There will be so much boneonbone action, you will need an Orthopedic Surgeon to sort things out. You havent seen anything like this since your last xxxray. And if youre into mature ladies, check out lucy, shes 3 million years old, and most of the pieces are still there. So, this halloween, come on down to the bone zone and witness the hottest bone action since youve made a hardy broth. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, dressed for success. Plus stephen welcomes Julie Andrews and musical guest sam smith with a special appearance by amy walter, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. Now live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its
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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240711

Howard featuring jon batiste and stay homin. Are are and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert, im flad to be your host tonight, all nights, but particularly tonight is an historicam night in the annals of television. Tonight is the first night i am sitting down with a guest in person the late show and who else do you want to break that seal with but president barack obama. Thats right, barack obama, my guest tonight. Three acts . Three acts of barack obama. And you go, is that seems like a long time no, its not. You cant believe how quickly it flies. First act, obviously, just friends hanging out. Power packed though, and really substantive. Next act were going to move some paper. ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240711

A baby announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, potus cant copus. Plus stephen welcomes Michael Moore and musical guest Sara Bareilles, with a special appearance by steve carell, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome to a late show. I am your host Stephen Colbert. Im so glad youre here, and you and you and you, my friends, for this special night, because believe it or not, this is our thousandth episode 1,000 i wish i could be together with the whole staff right now. Theyve done such an extraordinary job. T ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Show with Stephen Colbert. Tonights covid. Plus stephen welcomes Sacha Baron Cohen and jeff tweedy, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape at the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Im here from the lovely ed sullivan Theater Office building. My lady joins me over there. Hello. Stephen we are eight days from the election and excitement is spreading across the country if by excitement you mean coronavirus. cause, uh, yeah. They said the fall would get bad, and they was right. We are eight months into the pandemic, and ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240711

We have years of experience prosecuting imaginary voter fraud. Even with zero evidence, we will prove you lost because of glitches, not enough observers, too many observers, counted illegal votes, counted legal votes, sharpies werent allowed, sharpies were allowed, vote written on a sandwich, youre a terrible candidate, dead people voted, not enough dead people voted, and people voted. But dont take my word for it, listen to these satisfied customers. translated roger cornsworth is my lawyer for life because he made me president for life. translated i received two votes from my uncle one from him and the other from the dog i fed him to. translated if it wasnt for roger cornsworth, filipinos would be parading through the streets with my liver on the stick. We wont stop til your democracy is a pile of ash and your ego is soothed call today if you want power thats a cinchely call the attorneys cornsworth and pinchley 1800coupcoupcachoo announcer its a late show with
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