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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

By the way, is it possible nicklaus had a stroke . That worth sort of rain and it. Mcelroy makes the par. He needed that birdie. I have a couple of birdies for nicklaus right here. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight the nightmare before tuesday. Plus, stephen welcomes Neil Degrasse tyson. And a special appearance by jon stewart. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen here we go, baby. Everybody ready to do it . Because this is not a drill. Welcome to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Lets get right to it because there is a lot to talk about on this tsunami of a news day seemed ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Just like all my other past proteges. You are strong as an ox. You are the picture of health you are you feeling all right . I mean, i know im just a manifestation of your ego, but you seem a little shaky. He is sick. He should put his mask on and protect those around him. Shut up. No one invited you up here. Mr. President , please, come. We must project false confidence. Ill dictate a statement to you. I just left walter reed. Ive learned so much about the coronavirus. And i learned so much about coronavirus. And now im better and now im better. And maybe im immune. I dont know. And maybe im immune i dont know. laughing coughing . This bastard gave me covid. No one ever listens to krab of reason. Krab of reason, this fall on cbs. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight dont mask, dont tell. Plus, stephen welcomes Jerry Seinfeld and musical guest ella mai featuring jon ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

And musical guest public enemy featuring live jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome, welcome, one and all to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert, as it says on the bone here. Well, we are live, right there, after the first president ial debate. Tonight was the opening round of donald trump versus joe biden, the battle of the boomers, the showman juries the joeman. Get ready for democracy to crumble i come to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, an empty vessel, a man with a mind wiped clean. I have stood in the swirling chaos of creation. I have seen shiva wielding his carvings agreement gout oft universe. The sky once red, blue, and black until all that remained was a starless void and the hollowed hus ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Theyre incredible. Ticktock, ticktock. Congratulations, donald. Well done. Ticktock, ticktock. Im lesley stahl. Im bill whitaker. Im like a smart guy. The clock is ticking its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight early bird and rudy is a worm. Plus, stephen welcomes Bruce Springsteen and eva longoria. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen yeah welcome to a late show. Im the Stephen Colbert. The 2020 election is less than two weeks away. Im so excited that im not getting any of the sleep i normally dont get. Tomorrow is the second and final president ial debate, for which we will be live, l ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Was a story in one of the papers maracas president trump, are you willing tonight to condemn White Supremacists and militia groups . crickets announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight shut up, man plus, stephen welcomes john lithgow and jonathan alter. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. I dont know about you, but i am still recovering from last nights agonizing president ial shoutfest, in which donald trump interrupted joe biden over 70 times while Chris W ....

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