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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Improvement. We have to enjoy tiktok while we still got it. Because the president wants to get rid of it. No one really knows why. Personally i think its because he tried the im a savage dance and got zero likes. But losing tiktok would be disastrous. Without it, where else would we spend time on the internet . Besides youtube, twitter, facebook, instagram, linkedin and snapchat . Welp, at least i can fall back on my music career. Theres a lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and you get married or whatever its gonna be weird to e ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and you get married or whatever its gonna be weird to explain that to your kids one day. Well son, i was trying to stay awake in a zoom meeting when all of a sudden, this fine thing appeared in the left hand corner, so we agreed to meet in an abandoned field. Ice . Now i know that one was good what is that . A g . Come on, man. Im gonna start calling you ice cold. Alright this is cool. Me and guillermo have been working on a top secret project and were excited to share it with you. Like i said, im big on tiktok. I have 33 million fo ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Dammit. Only a two . Ok at least theres room for improvement. We have to enjoy tiktok while we still got it. Because the president wants to get rid of it. No one really knows why. Personally i think its because he tried the im a savage dance and got zero likes. But losing tik tok would be disastrous. Without it, where else would we spend time on the internet . Besides youtube, twitter, facebook, instagram, linkedin and snapchat . Welp, at least i can fall back on my music career. Theres a lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and y ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and you get married or whatever its gonna be weird to explain that to your kids one day. Well son, i was trying to stay awake in a zoom meeting when all of a sudden, this fine thing appeared in the left hand corner, so we agreed to meet in an abandoned field. Ice . Now i know that one was good what is that . A g . Come on, man. Im gonna start calling you ice cold. Alright this is cool. Me and guillermo have been working on a top secret project and were excited to share it with you. Like i said, im big on tiktok. I have 33 million fo ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 13, 2024

Its interesting. They talked a lot about earthquakes today. I forgot, what an earthquake actually is, its technical, but basically an earthquake is when the planet sneezes and a tsunami is when the world pees a little after sneezing. So try to avoid them both. Hey, speaking of shakeouts, another member of the Trump Administration is on his way out. Secretary of energy, rick perry reportedly informed the president today that he plans to resign. He did not explain why, although i think we have a pretty good idea. Perrys been secretary of energy since the beginning. But soon, like all the others, hell be gone. When ben carson wakes up, hell be like, where the hell is everybody . The president reportedly blamed rick perry for getting him on that now infamous call to in this story, the president and his admirers have been insisting there was no quid pro quo involving the call about the bidens. Mulvaney went before reporters and b ....

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