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Announcer tonight, on late night with seth myers Stacey Abrams. Creator of david byrnes america utopia, david byrne and all new closer look. And all new closer look. Featuring the 8g band with sonny emory. Now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth myers and this is late night. I hope everyone is doing well tonight. And lets get to the news. Well just this week we learned that women received unnecessary hysterectomies at an i. C. E. Detention facility the attorney general called for demonstrators to be charged with sedition and the white house wanted to use a heat ray on Peaceful Protesters to clear the way for a photoop i think at this point even queue is an undecided voter. Thats right federals officials reportedly considered deploying a socalled heat ray that makes targets skin feel like its burning, in prepara ....
I think i was going to a party, so it was like my Favorite Party outfit i still remember that thing. It was beautiful an extraordinary citrus wheat. Brewed with real tangerine peel. Only 95 calories. It was not that late at night. So were at a truck stop seeing welcome to the light side of the moon. If my friends dad, who is a truck driver, is there were driving slowly along the semi trucks, looking for his dads license plate. So i can see why we may have seemed suspicious. And a cop comes up and he taps on the window. And im like, frick i have been harassed for doing nothing. Im sure this guy is going to get us my friend rolls down the window, and the cop is super nice. Now, i had never been stopped by a cop while a white man was around and the respect this cop had for this white man in this suit, man, i this cop wants to know what in the world we are doing and he asked politely. And we tell him, and he is unsatisfied. He goes, i ....
[ laughter ] seth hes hes a doctor why do you think he knows more than he does do you do this during your actual doctors appointments mr. President , it looks like you have an undigested hamburger lodged in your stomach. No, youre wrong, thats just my second heart. [ laughter ] trump probably thinks he knows more about actual doctors because this guy was his actual doctor do you remember him . The guy who looks less like a doctor, and more like hes hiding in the witness protection program. [ laughter ] the guy whose fallback job is roadie for hootie and the blowfish [ laughter ] trump probably did know more than this guy. Bad news man, looks like you got your feet where your brain should be. [ laughter ] no, i think you just have it upside down. Oh, hey i guess youre right, man. All right. Want some medicine . [ laughter ] now look, its important to be cautious and not to panic, but its also important not to ignore the advice of health professionals. Everyone should remain calm, hope f ....
Keep your foreskin feel this grapefruit. It feels like the pulsing part. Love one another. Im andrew yang, and i approve whatever this was. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, once upon impeachment plus, stephen welcomes Jennifer HudsonJonathan Pryce and musical Sharon Van Etten, with norah jones. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on ho, ho, ho wooo have a seat. Thank you up there, up there, down here. My friends. My friends. My friends. Welcome to the late show, one and all. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Well t ....
And a special appearance by john lithgow. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen the hey, happy holidays fantastic hello hows it going. Hi hey, jon. I like it. Happy wednesday. Stephen Stephen StephenStephen Stephen stephen hi so nice. Wednesday, right . cheers and applause stephen thanks, everybody, up there, down here, all around the world, all my friends and neighbors. Welcome, one and all, everybody, everybody. Welcome to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Lets get right to it. We dont have any time. We dont have a minute to waste here. Its almost christmas. Im busy, youre busy. Ive got an oven full of snickerdoodles i have to fin ....