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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170216

Sorry, what . I said, the doctor told me. Excusezmoi . The doctor said. No more public pools for me snap into a slim jim [car[clicking of ignition]rt] uh wha woof eeh woof wuh [silence] [engine roars to life] [dog howls] dramatic opera music swells from radio [howling continues] [hiphop music] [wolf howls] you hear that . We better find these guys before the wolves do. Lets go. [dramatic music] listen. Theyve got atvs. Just a joke to these guys. Come on, we got to get to Higher Ground no. Adams our friend. If we dont fight back, theres no way hes surviving this game. So are you with me . Fine. Okay predator shake . Yeah. Waityeah. What is that . Im soi dont even know. Hit me with a beast master. Thats where i got that. Predator, up top. [dramatic percussive music] okay, here they come. Just hold on the pants really tight. Pull, when they drive through, we knock them off the atvs. Yeah. This is a really smart plan. One, two what the heck was that . [laughing manically] yeah looks like t

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170216

Sorry, what . I said, the doctor told me. Excusezmoi . The doctor said. No more public pools for me snap into a slim jim [car[clicking of ignition]rt] uh wha woof eeh woof wuh [silence] [engine roars to life] [dog howls] dramatic opera music swells from radio [howling continues] [hiphop music] [wolf howls] you hear that . We better find these guys before the wolves do. Lets go. [dramatic music] listen. Theyve got atvs. Just a joke to these guys. Come on, we got to get to Higher Ground no. Adams our friend. If we dont fight back, theres no way hes surviving this game. So are you with me . Fine. Okay predator shake . Yeah. Waityeah. What is that . Im soi dont even know. Hit me with a beast master. Thats where i got that. Predator, up top. [dramatic percussive music] okay, here they come. Just hold on the pants really tight. Pull, when they drive through, we knock them off the atvs. Yeah. This is a really smart plan. One, two what the heck was that . [laughing manically] yeah looks like t

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160517

Only donald trump can brag about donald trump like that. Come on, thats its like a fingerprint. Like you know Donald Trumps Home Security is based on boast recognition technology. That is how he gets in. Im doing tremendous, big, big success. Beep, welcome home, mr. Trump. And it is not just the voice thats the same. There are huge similarities in their vok answer lear. My financials show im worth more than 10 billion by any stretch of the imagination. Is he start doing tremendously well financially. Can i tell you this. I can tell you this. It is going to be many millions of votes ahead. It could cost you many millions of dollars. laughter . Trevor this is so stupid. How is this real news. I dont even get it. Donald trump didnt even bother to disguise his voice. Or maybe, or maybe he dubt know how to disguise his work. Like maybe hes with at home wearing a lady wig and dress on the other end of the phone. Trump even admits to being mill are back in 1991 but apparently todays donald tr

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160517

What is your name. I am handling pr because he gets so much of it. Frankly he gets called by everybody. He gets called by everybody in the book. Actresses, people that you write about, just call to see if they can go out with him. Trevor come on. Come on that is so donald trump. Only donald trump can brag about donald trump like that. Come on, thats its like a fingerprint. Like you know Donald Trumps Home Security is based on boast recognition technology. That is how he gets in. Im doing tremendous, big, big success. Beep, welcome home, mr. Trump. And it is not just the voice thats the same. There are huge similarities in their vok answer lear. My financials show im worth more than 10 billion by any stretch of the imagination. Is he start doing tremendously well financially. Can i tell you this. I can tell you this. It is going to be many millions of votes ahead. It could cost you many millions of dollars. laughter . Trevor this is so stupid. How is this real news. I dont even get it.

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160517

From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central trevor welcome to the daily show, im trevor noah. My guest tonight, joining us from blackish, Anthony Anderson is here, everybody. Really excited. Were going to talk about all things black, and all things thingsish. But lets start with the topics that is donald trump campaign. It is a topic, it is noxious, opaque and those go down with the daylight expression of i cannot [bleep] believe this is happening to me. But it is also full of fascinating historical treasures that keep bubbling up to the surface. The taier old audio recording where trump apparently pretends to be his own publicist using his name be john miller. What is your name. I am handling pr because he gets so much of it. Frankly he gets called by everybody. He gets called by everybody in the book. Actresses, people that you write about, just call to see if they can go

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