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Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20241008

[applause] [applause] greg: put your pants back on. Happy monday, everyone. Over the weekend donald trump held a rally in butler, pennsylvania. The site of the first assassination attempt. He spoke from behind a shield made of patent plexiglass, the same material they used to build nancy pelosi. Not to be outdone, kamala harris will join the view where the secret service will have harpoon guns in case the cast gets hungry. You are booing? get him out of here. On tuesday kamala harris will be interviewed, she is well prepared having worked for four years under a different fart man. [applause] greg: i will take it. After a seven month narcotics investigation of a large shipment of elephant tranquilizer has been seized on long island. Now how will i sleep? asks one woman. I thought that was going my way. Greg: a frontier jet caught fire during a hard landing at the las vegas airport. The company quickly responded by announcing they are bringing back the smoking section. In a rare solo

Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20241007

[cheering and applause] greg yes i know, i know. I know you are so lucky. It is friday so you know what that means, lets welcome tonights guest, they call him the perfect anchor because he can drag down any show. Fox and friends first host, todd he has talked to more men on The Street than a u. N. Host of kennedy saves the world podcast, kennedy and he is beloved by his Fox Family but only when they need help moving, New York Times bestselling author, comedian and former pro wrestler, tyrus before we get to some news stories, lets do this. Announcer gregs leftovers greg this is where i read the jokes we didnt use this weekend is always i didnt read them so if they suck we will tie Joe Mackey to a chair and have Tim Walz give him a lap dance. [laughter] i dont know who will love it more, actually. A spokesperson for Kamala Harris Husband is denying he slapped an exgirlfriend back in 2012. Saying that any suggestion that he ever had a woman is false. In dougs defence,s ex may have asked

Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20241005

[cheering and applause] greg: yes! i know, i know. I know you are so lucky. It is friday so you know what that means, let s welcome tonight s guest, they call him the perfect anchor because he can drag down any show. Fox and friends first host, todd! he has talked to more men on the street than a u. N. Host of kennedy saves the world podcast, kennedy! and he is beloved by his fox family but only when they need help moving, new york times bestselling author, comedian and former pro wrestler, tyrus! before we get to some news stories, let s do this. Announcer: greg s leftovers! greg: this is where i read the jokes we didn t use this weekend is always i didn t read them so if they suck we will tie joe mackey to a chair and have tim walz give him a lap dance. [laughter] i don t know who will love it more, actually. A spokesperson for kamala harris husband is denying he slapped an exgirlfriend back in 2012. Saying that any suggestion that he ever had a woman is false. In doug s defence, s

Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240923

Greg all right. First of all, i would like to apologize to Tonights Audience and the viewers at home we will not be airing a cooking segment tonight. We apologize to mr. Do see but you will still be able to get his new Book Cooking with crisco for free. Instead we have a very special show tonight, lets welcome our guests, she is still quite humourous with a fetus in her uterus. New york times bestselling Author Or Author kat. She is from San Francisco but she will appreciate indoor plumbing, Emily Compagno New York times bestselling Author And Comedian tyrus and he loves diet coke, but hates the woke. Choosing this insanity over sean hannity. Lets crank it up to 11 for president 45 and 47. The 44th President Of The United States donald J Trump [applause] there you go. So, how was your Golf Game . Mr. Trump i have not been thinking about it too much lately. They always say golf is a very dangerous game. Greg it really is especially if they are playing with you. That was a mean joke. Stu

Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240922

[cheering] thank you, thank you. All right, all right first of all i would like to apologize to Tonights Audience and viewers at home we will not be airing the Steve Doocy Cooking segment tonight. [laughter] we apologize to mr. Doocy Butir Youll still be ablein to get hs new Book Cooking with crisco for freeyo. Instead welfare a very special Show Tonight so lets welcome our guest. Shes still quite humorous with a fetus in her uterus New Yorks Times best Selling Author Washington contributor kat timpf shes from San Francisco and appreciates indoor Plumbingsh Cohost emily. E N Itfr is deltoid deflect an Asteroid Comedian former champion tyrus. And he loves Diet Coke but hates the woke. Choosing this insanity over Shaun Hannity lets crank it up to 11 for president 45 and 47, the Man P Interest rates In The Red corner from queens new York President of the united Statesid Donald j. Trump. [applause] there you go. [laughter] so mr. P, hows your Golf Game . I havent been thinking about it too

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