Greg: yes! yes. Yes. All right, i will take it, for now. Happy monday, everyone. Last friday joe biden turned over a cabinet meeting to his wife. If that is not bad enough he then put hunter in charge of the medicine cabinet. Man boobs. Vice president harris will skip this fundraising dinner, a feature which traditionally shows presidential candidates roasting each other. She pulled out at the last minute. If only her husband had done the same thing with the nanny. Terrible. This person was criticized for saying that kamala harris is not black. She would know, her brother michael was a white one. And a beautiful one at that, rest in peace. Hillary clinton argued that kamala harris does not need to clarify her policy positions to her various critics and instead recommends simply killing them. The menendez brothers series on netflix is facing backlash over the allegations of sibling incest. I don t see the big deal, says one woman. I don t know why, i don t understand the backstory on th
[applause] greg: all right! now it is just me and you. Happy thursday, everyone. By now you probably saw our great interview with donald trump. Amazing, right? [applause] after the show i felt like a hezbollah fighter, my phone was blowing up. [laughter] it is true, in lebanon thousands of pagers and phones exploded killing dozens of terrorists. We reached out to hezbollah leaders, but they have not returned our calls. President trump was a huge hit on the show last night, my favourite part was the secret service pat down. Turns out that i was happy to see them. Now we have officially asked kamala to appear on our show. We have already promised a box of wine for her, and an assortment of nannies for her husband. He will probably abort it. The show. Greg: i am talking about the show. A chinese you admitted that their pandas were actually painted dogs. They got the idea from makeup artists at the view. In your face. The rapper sean diddy combs is being held in federal custody on char
Greg: yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I like my haircut. Happy tuesday, everyone. Scientists have discovered what they call a third state of existence. Somewhere between life and death. No kidding. Democrats responded to the second assassination attempt on trump by turning down the rhetoric by comparing the former president to mussolini. In a rare sign of unity, maxine waters has offered to schedule his next tee time. The biden a ministration has promised to beef up security for president trump. Using the same agents that protect kamala from reporters. A neighbor of the accused gunman says the family was weird and kept a live horse in their home. Further proof that the suspect was unstable. [ laughter ] greg: it s okay to boo that one. I felt the same way. An investigation into the immigrant crisis in springfield, ohio reveals that auto accidents have increased four fold. I did not know the haitians were all women. Rfk junior is being investigated for allegedly cutting off the head
[applause] [applause] greg: yes! yes. It appears there is no debate around my sex appeal. Happy wednesday, everyone. People are accusing last night s debate moderator of teaming up against trump while letting kamala slide. He was under so much attack you would thank the moderators were working from a slanted roof. It felt like an ambush with kamala and the moderators jumping on trump. I have not seen a three on one so disturbing since i was at the golden girls after party. I just watched. Out is what i like to do. Understandably, the moderators were heavily criticized for their bias, but they seemed completely unmoved by the critiques. In a biased fact check of trump mirror claimed that crime was down using discredited data from the fbi. David probably still believes that those pictures i took of him really work for a charity calendar. Jokes on you. Meanwhile, kamala harris referred to january 6 as the greatest attack on american democracy since the civil war. She said there s the day
[laughter] greg: yeah! yeah! [laughter] tony orlando? his sorry. [laughter] happy monday, everyone. So with kamala harris preparing for tomorrow s debate at a former aide to hillary clinton is playing trump in mock rehearsals. So if harris loses in that guy goes missing, you know who to blame. [laughter] i m not saying she kills people. But i m not not saying it. Know the debate is planned for 90 minutes which gives kamala s has been dug enough time to knock up three nineties. [laughter] meantime donald trump is busy trying to make kamala feel at home by also knocking up in 90. [laughter] the debate is expected to feature two commercial breaks one break to take kamala s wine order, and the other to take her second wine order. Nancy pelosi claim that trump might get the debate, saying i know cowardice when i see it. Drew clark is the fear that she seize on her husband s eyes when she puts on a onepiece. [laughter] [applause] you discussed me expo one times posters claim harris is fallin