Somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with donald trump, the first president whos a nonessential worker. Yesterday a tape dropped of an interview he did with bob woodward in february where he admitted he purposefully downplayed the risk of coronavirus. We know why, its because he didnt want to spook his precious stock market. Whoa, whoa, easy, girl. Easy, gil. Its okay, nasdaq, everythings fine. You just keep going out, girl. Now when normal people get caught on tape admitting they lied to an entire country, they usually apologize, but donald trump didnt become president by being normal, so yesterday he doubled down. Did you mislead the public by saying that you downplayed the coronavirus and that you repeatedly did that in order to reduce panic . Did you mislead the public . Well, i think if you said in order to reduce panic, perhaps thats. So the fact is im a cheerleader for this country, i love our country and
Now substituting for colorado, number four, kyle broflovski. Oh jesus. Hes about to play. [gunfire] [grunting] mrs. Garrison, grab kyle. Which one is he . Arrrhhh. Ohhh. Hey, what the hell . Stop the game ahhhh ohhh. I got it. I got the ball. Kyle, no broflovski goes for the dunk. No my baaaaaaalllllssssss aagh. [screams] so let me get this straight. That woman over there was trying to get to her balls which were in the knees of a black child whose father is a dolphin. Yeah, thats basically it. Sounds like an open and shut case. All right, lets head em out. Im sorry, kyle. I should i have told you the surgery was cosmetic only. So does this mean im not really a dolphin . Lets get you two up to the clinic, and ill change you back for a nominal fee. But what about mr. Garrison . He cant go back. You know what, im okay. Even though im not truly a woman, i think i still like the new me. Id rather be a woman who cant have periods than a fag. Hey, guys this girl is staying a woman. Who wants