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Oh, maude dont be depressed. You look beautiful i do, dont i . Now, i suppose, actually, i should be thrilled. I mean, here i am, 46, i dont look a day over 41. Sweetheart, youre 48. Then i dont look a day over 43. china smashing what is that . That that must be carol and chris fooling around. Yes, walter thats me and chris foolin around see . Well, i wish theyd fool around with each other and keep their hands off my crystal. Oh, honey. Listen. Since it is my birthday, walter, will you promise me something . Of course, sweetheart. What . Honey, tonight, for a change, will you talk to me . Will you stay with me . Oh, mau now, walter. Every time we go to a party, the men end up on one side of the room and the women on the other. Honey, tonight, talk to me. Stay with me, walter. Okay, maude. I wont move from your side all night. Anything your little heart desires. Walter, dear, id like to point out to you that is not my heart. whispers hide. Hide everyone. everybody whispering maude i war ....
Sucks sucks walter, are you gonna smoke that pipe or play it . sucking its clogged. sucking where. sucking sucking where are my. sucking where are my. Out with it, walter where are your sucking what . My pipe cleaners. How should i know where your pipe cleaners are. Maude, i need something long and fuzzy to clean my pipe. Maybe youll like me to starch your caterpillar. All right, maude, i wont smoke my pipe. loud clinking walter, will you stop . youre driving me up the wall its only been a week since i took up pipe smoking. Youll get used to it. Never, walter. Never. Carpet. Furthermore, your mustache is beginning to turn yellow. Its like kissing a molting canary. For crying out loud a man cant even enjoy a pipe i mean, whats wrong with that . Ive given up cigarettes and ive quit drinking. What other pleasures are there . Which reminds me, walter, you seem to have given that up, too. Ill tell you what im talking about, walter findlay. Your husbandly duties. I cant help it if im tired, ....