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( laughter ) so unlatch your 12-year-old from your gluten-free teet, and let s start this thing. this is the nightly show. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers ) larry: thank you very much. welcome to the nightly show. i appreciate it. that s so nice of youifies. thanks for waiting. audience members we may add a d.j. and a house band, maybe by tomorrow. put we ll see. yeah. everybody is for that. now, you know, i don t know what it is but lately i ve been noticing a rash of parenting stories that ve been totally crazy. did you hear the one about the mom who was arrested for letting her 9-year-old daughter play at the playground? larry: no, i haven t heard it, but i love a good joke. continue. public safety investigators say 46-year-old debra harrell confessed to leaving her 9-year-old daughter alone in the park for several hours while she went to work. debra harrell was arrested and charged with the unlawful neglect of a child. her daughte ....
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you know, i m not going to be here and try and sum up what this place has meant to me over the years, but i couldn t do that and we have plenty of time and i have a myriad of people to thank and we ll get to that over time. i m not going anywhere tomorrow. but this show doesn t deserve an even slightly restless host and neither to do you. i don t think i m going to miss being on television every day. i m going to miss coming here every day. i love the people here. they re the best. they re creative and collaborative and kind. you understand what i m saying. i love and respect them so much. we love you jon! jon: yeah! (cheers and applause) anyway! arrrrr! what are these feelings? frankenstein angry! (applause) it s been a privilege, the honor of my professional life. i thank you for watching it, for hating watching it. for whatever reason you are tuning in for you get in this business with the idea that maybe you have a point of view and something to express and to r ....
tomorrow. put we ll see. yeah. everybody is for that. now, you know, i don t know what it is but lately i ve been noticing a rash of parenting stories that ve been totally crazy. did you hear the one about the mom who was arrested for letting her 9-year-old daughter play at the playground? larry: no, i haven t heard it, but i love a good joke. continue. public safety investigators say 46-year-old debra harrell confessed to leaving her 9-year-old daughter alone in the park for several hours while she went to work. debra harrell was arrested and charged with the unlawful neglect of a child. her daughter was reportedly taken into custody. larry: well, she left her kid in the park. i guess that doesn t sound too good. and, okay, if there s one way to fix a neglected daughter issue, it s to throw her only parent in jail and toss the kid into the oh-so-reliable foster care system. ( laughter ) problem solved. good. now, you can argue that this mom did or didn t do s ....
thanks for waiting. audience members we may add a d.j. and a house band, maybe by tomorrow. put we ll see. yeah. everybody is for that. now, you know, i don t know what it is but lately i ve been noticing a rash of parenting stories that ve been totally crazy. did you hear the one about the mom who was arrested for letting her 9-year-old daughter play at the playground? larry: no, i haven t heard it, but i love a good joke. continue. public safety investigators say 46-year-old debra harrell confessed to leaving her 9-year-old daughter alone in the park for several hours while she went to work. debra harrell was arrested and charged with the unlawful neglect of a child. her daughter was reportedly taken into custody. larry: well, she left her kid in the park. i guess that doesn t sound too good. and, okay, if there s one way to fix a neglected daughter issue, it s to throw her only parent in jail and toss the kid into the oh-so-reliable foster care system. ( la ....