Yes, I get It. Yes, I It. I get It. I get It. You love me. What can You do . HappY tuesdaY, everYone. So Kamala HarrIs Is In the mIddle of a MedIa BlItz. Shes The VIew, 60 mInutes,a me stephen colbert, howard stern. Shes been In front of more old than BrIan Stelters. Boxers. Last nIght she made o a dIsastrous, paInful appearance on 60 mInutes. It was so bad Joe BIden turned over In hIs grave. And after that traInwreck, HarrIs Appeare D The VIew where she saId she wouldnt have done anYthIng dIfferentlY the Joe BIden durIng the last four Years. Well, except PIck A Better VIce PresIdent. A fun sIde note, when the secret servIce patted Down Better Vr found a foot long bratwurst and £14 of kIelbasa. S ecre but be remIss If we dIdnt wIsh joY a happY bIrthdaY. She turned 82 YesterdaY to celebrate, she hIt a pInatatd full of sardInes. Her cake dIdnt have anY candles In case WhoopI Goldberg breaks wInddated. MeanwhIle, TIm Walz vIsIted JImmY KImmel show Last NIght, revealed he saved Carmelas N
Got to play whacK a mole. Youve got to pretend that Donald Trump didnt deliver rising, taKe Home Pay and then youve simultaneously got to defend Kamala Harriss atrocious economic record. The Debate Weve been waiting for. Im a KnucKlehead at times. I thinK the lacK of interviews that he has done with national media, with local media, it showed the media is crying after babying little timmy. Stop, stop. Are you Kidding me . The day will come when we will name names other than sean combs. And theres a lot of names, but the names that were going to name are names that will shocK you. 100 victims sue diddy, their lawyer, joins prime time. Plus, my name is rose, and im feeling great. This iS Going to be a great debate. Im sorry i touched you. There. Jesse the Vp Debate Last Night told you everything you need it to Know about Kamala Harris. She has terrible instincts. The biggest got decision ive made most recently is to choose my Running Mate. Yeah. Jesse yeah. Tim walz was supposed to be a
Yes get. I knOw. AwesOme. Thank yOu. In all hOnesty, thIs success Is gettIng kInd Of bOrIng. Happy mOnday, everyOne. SO thIs frIdayIn, JOker TwO arrIves In Theaters and Its abOut a Mentally Ily Mn Man WhO TerrOrIzes SOcIety wIth hIs mentally unstable female sIdekIck. Terr Or but mOsT Of yOu have alreas seen It. Yeah, yOu saw thaT One cOmIng. That was after The crOwds lIke, Oh, here we gO. GO earlIer tOday, presIdent bIden delIvered remarks On The devastatIOn caused by hurrIcane aIleen helene. He cOmfOrted vIctImsd re by Theh Of hOw he Once survIved a flOOd In an are c. RepOrtedly, TIm Walz Is nervOus abOut tOmOrrOws. TOmOrrOw nIghts vIc E PresIdent Ial debate. He has been thIs nervOus sInce that tIme. He ran OuT Of tampOn al debats. TampOn Jen PsakI tOld yOung dOug that he has, quOte, reshaped The perceptIOn Of masculInIty. Thats true. Back In The Old days, a guy lIke that mIght have talked The Nann A Quy KeepIng The baby. Ke Oh. ArcheOlOgIsts In chIna have a 3600 year Old mummy that w
You, you fIlthy people. I know what youre thInkIng. Happy wednesday, everyone. ThInkIngso Joe BIden Appearede w on the VIew Today where Cohoste Sara haInes saId Its lIke havIng one of The Beatles at the tablee of. True I true. If youre talkIng about georgere or john, Its not more lIke yoko. Kamala harrIs wIll vIsIt the southern border on frIday. St she saId shes lookIng forward to fInally meetIng justIn shu. Ahe say speakIng of harrIs at the s last debate, she saId she was a mIddle class kId. Howevehed er It Appearss En HarrIs enjoyed thIngs most mIddle class kIds dIdnt lIke LIvIngjoIngskIds PrIvate Schoolr growIng up In some of the wealthIest places on earth. Jo the only thIng she dIdnt enjoy was a nanny. UnlIkeanI. Her husband, wrong way. Or that was a long way for a cheap joke. Youre welcome, amerIca. New Cdc Data shows. That us ObesIty Rates have fallen for the fIrst tIme even for. But just lIke the crIme statIstIcs, the cdc left out the cItIes new orleans, Los Angeles and the vIew
Jes welcome to Jesse Watters primee tonight. When we drove through those cornfields, just about every line when we t had a trump sign. Yeah. Flags everywhere. Billboards had everywhere. Orterm Kamala Harris is losing the election. L we dont know who the hell she is. Leave us alone. Were making hamburger wits. Itd be interesting to see if he surrendered. If there was, in fact,e ifd some sort of weapon. And why was he out . And about a Year Latery Wa a. He the deep state admits they let trumps Assassin Slip through the cracks. They just released a report confirming that iran actors hacked into the trump Campaigns Email accounts. Hacko th exactly like. Biden allowing the Iranians U to hack the Trump Campaign. I dont know what the hell they found. Couldntmpont know what have bo exciting. Plus, this is a real battle to grab your popcorn. Trump already has his. Oh, look, i got to get out of it. All that stuff. Theres a Carrot Weve got to get. G. Mom just got a ba that actually good stuff. Go