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COM The Colbert Report March 5, 2013

[cheers and applause] hey, guys. Welcome back. Now its time for our unfortunate domain name of the week. This weeks winner is hotelkuntz. Com. [laughter] yep. Its located in paris, france. I know when i think of paris, i think of kuntz. [laughter] for 33 euros, which is about 42, youll get a nights stay in the kuntz. I actually stayed there recently, and i have to say the woman at the front desk was a total sweetheart. [laughter] i can tell you who was a huge [bleep]. The concierge. And the continental breakfast is just comme ci, comme ca. [laughter] youll be happy to know your kuntz reward points can be redeemed at their sister hotel les toits. [laughter] can you believe we got snubbed for an emmy . [sighs] hey, make sure you follow me on twitter so we can live chat during the shows and make sure you come see me on the tosh tour 2010. Oh, that is gonna be a suicide mission. Next week, we give the worst comedian ever a web redemption. She was bigger than my greatgreat grandmother. Is t ....

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COM The Colbert Report February 28, 2013

Jon thats our show. Here it is your moment zen. Your job is to keep him under control this morning. If he runs stephen tonight, a gitmo inmate faces trial. Or has a birthday party. Not sure, it was redacted. Then, john kerry is the new secretary of state. Or the pressure has really taken a toll on hillary clinton. [laughter] and my guest Paola Antonelli is a curator at the museum of modern art. Ill ask her to exit through the gift shop. [laughter] its chuck hagels first day as secretary of defense. Tomorrow we start the twomonth confirmation process for his second day of work. [laughter] this is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, good to have you with us. Please, sit down ....

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COM The Colbert Report February 28, 2013

Here it is your moment zen. Your job is to keep him under control this morning. If he runs stephen tonight, a gitmo inmate faces trial. Or has a birthday party. Not sure, it was redacted. Then, john kerry is the new secretary of state. Or the pressure has really taken a toll on hillary clinton. [laughter] and my guest Paola Antonelli is a curator at the museum of modern art. Ill ask her to exit through the gift shop. [laughter] its chuck hagels first day as secretary of defense. Tomorrow we start the twomonth confirmation process for his second day of work. [laughter] this is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, good to have you with us. Please, sit down. [cheers and applau ....

United States , Israel General , Chuck Hagel , Lebron James , John Kerry , Paola Antonelli , Hillary Clinton , Aldar Kose , Curator Museum , Chuck Hagels , First Day , Comedy Central , Im Company , Parent Company , Philippe Daumann , Health Care , Radio Shack , Security Officer , Communications Clients , Kill Switch , National Security , Like People , Supreme Court , Supreme Court Allows , Court Allows , Group Another ,

COM The Colbert Report February 28, 2013

Here it is your moment zen. Your job is to keep him under control this morning. If he runs stephen tonight, a gitmo inmate faces trial. Or has a birthday party. Not sure, it was redacted. Then, john kerry is the new secretary of state. Or the pressure has really taken a toll on hillary clinton. [laughter] and my guest Paola Antonelli is a curator at the museum of modern art. Ill ask her to exit through the gift shop. [laughter] its chuck hagels first day as secretary of defense. Tomorrow we start the twomonth confirmation process for his second day of work. [laughter] this is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, good to have you with us. Please, sit down. [cheers and applau ....

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COM The Colbert Report March 1, 2013

One of them was all filled with babies. And she had herpes. [laughter] then his mother reveals to him that she is pregnant. And he is the father. Toshs father is upset, yet not surprised. [laughter] so he masturbates with his own tears, and screamed i just bought tickets for your tour when it goes to indiana i love you im so excited he wanted to get out of town in time to catch the sale at the perry ellis outlet mall but he found himself surrounded by alqaeda. He was outnumbered but still managed to pleasure each man accordingly. [laughter] no one was unsatisfied yes, i had to do gay stuff in prison, but that was for survival. Survival boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner. He dies. End of movie. [laughter] that one was a real tearjerker. See you next week. Good night. [cheers applause] stephen tonight, a gitmo inmate faces trial. Or has a birthday party. Not sure, it was redacted. Then, john kerry is the new secretary of state. Or the pressure has rea ....

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