to finish sheriff maloney's term-- kind of a fella like... well, here. here's the kind of sheriff we need. "once again, sheriff andy taylor "has been commended for outstanding law enforcement. "mayberry county, for the third consecutive year "has the lowest crime rate in the state. "in accepting the award, sheriff taylor said it wouldn't have been possible try to get taylor? oh, i'm sure we couldn't get taylor but how about his deputy, this, uh... fife fella? gentlemen, i recommend that we make him an offer. all in favor, say aye. both: aye. boys, i hope and trust this is our next sheriff-- barney fife-- so keen, alert sharp! barney? well, locked yourself in, did ya? locked myself in. well, i believe that's the third time this week. yeah, it's the third time. oh, i see. we're gonna play that funny little game all right. have your fun. if it amuses you, go right ahead. ( laughs ) yeah, the sheriff needs his laugh. oh, i'll be glad to oblige him. i've got a lot of time. i... you opened it. that's right. well, i thought you was gonna keep me locked in like you always do. i would, but i ain't got time to fool around. important police work just come up. you get a lead on the rafe hollister case? bigger'n that. bigger'n that? we been after hollister's still for six months. this must be big. it is. come on over to the desk and we'll lay it out. draw up a chair. what's up, andy? now, listen carefully. this has got to be done just right so there won't be any slip-ups. okay? yeah. just a minute ago i was over by the post office. yeah? there was a big sedan parked out there. station wagon. ...and in front of the station wagon a pickup truck. pickup truck. let me see if i got my bullet. yeah, okay. okay? now, listen carefully. yeah. i believe that the sedan, the station wagon and the pickup truck are over-parked. take this chalk and mark 'em. check. why don't we go up to the hospital some night and take the bolts off the wheelchairs? that'd be funny, too. sheriff taylor? yes? good morning, gentlemen. what can i do for you? sheriff taylor this is mayor purdy of greendale. hello, mayor. i'm councilman dobbs. councilman, how are ya? we read about you in the paper. we want to congratulate you and your deputy for winning the award. oh, well, much obliged. thank you kindly. to make your deputy fife an offer. yeah? what kinda offer? well, we'd like to have barney fife be sheriff of greendale. huh? dobbs: greendale needs a new sheriff till the next election and we're hopin' you'll let us have barney fife. purdy: we'll give you time to break in a new deputy. oh... well, uh, uh... i mean, you-you ju-- you just can't replace barney fife just like that. i know we're askin' an awful lot, sheriff but we need a man like fife. uh, well, uh, i, uh... i understand your problem, uh, mayor but, uh, barney's, uh, uh, uh... well, barney's too loyal. he's-he's too loyal, and i'm, uh, i'm not sure that he'd want to give up this job and... w-well, i'll, uh, i'll talk to him for you and let him make up his own mind. man. thank you kindly. sheriff of greendale? uh-huh. well, that's terrific. th-that's a real step up. that's a real opportunity. what's the matter? think you ought to think about it pretty carefully. well, what's there to think about? well, sure, i-i don't like leaving you and mayberry but this is a real chance for me. don't you think i ought to take advantage of it? well, uh... no. huh? barney, sheriffin's a lot different from deputying and while you make a fine deputy i-i think you just need more experience-- and helpin' school kids across the street. no, that's not it at all, barney. it's just that i need you around here. they's a whole lot to do around here. we ain't found rafe hollister's still yet. yeah, you say that. you don't think i can be a sheriff. the fact is you never have been a sheriff and i'm just tryin' to tell you that sheriffin's a lot different from deputying. well, we all gotta start someplace, pal and fate has picked greendale for me. it's a case of the office seekin' the man. now, if i happen to be the man then i got to answer the call. barney, the fact is... the fact is i got a rendezvous with destiny. hello, sarah? get me the mayor of greendale. paw? hmm? the kids are sure gonna miss barney down at the school. he's the best crossing guard we ever had. yeah, he is that. why does barney want to go to greendale, anyway? well, it's an opportunity, son. if he could be sheriff here? i'm the sheriff here. couldn't you take turns? well, you see, it don't work that way. couldn't you let him be sheriff once in a while? no, it don't work that way either. you see... hey, wait a minute here. that's a pretty good idea you come up with. i did? what was the idea i come up with? well, if we let barney be sheriff of mayberry for just one day, he might find out it's a lot more difficult than he realizes in which case, he might forfeit the opportunity for advancement and be satisfied with the status quo. is that the idea i come up with, paw? that's it. that was a pretty good idea i come up with, huh? you better know it was, you little buzzard. ( opie giggling ) you mean you actually want me before he goes into a ball game. walking into a new job why, you could use the experience. yeah, but sheriff of mayberry? that's right. now, come on. i'll swear you in. raise your right hand. do you, barney fife, sheriff of mayberry solemnly swear to uphold the law to the best of your ability? i do. okay, let me have your badge and here's mine. all right, now, put them on. there. now, how's it feel to be sheriff? ( both laughing ) how's it feel to be the deputy? oh, fine, fine. well, what's going to be your first act as sheriff? well... iff. i'm going to crack the rafe hollister case. i'm going to find out where that still is once and for all. how? well, you see, andy, when you was sheriff you approached the rafe hollister case with your usual cracker-barrel police methods. now that i'm sheriff, i'll use some highly scientific police techniques and i'm going to wrap up the rafe hollister case. observe. um, what, uh... what are you going to do, barney? i'm going to get our town drunk to give us the information. how are you going to do that? well, the subconscious tells the truth while you're asleep, you see. oh, oh, uh-huh. i'm going to probe his subconscious. oh, i see. otis campbell... you picked up some bootleg liquor. where did you get the liquor? where did you get the liquor? ( mumbling ) oh, darn. you got a pencil? mm-hmm. ( singsongy ): where is the still? you go out route 22 past waynesborough medville, thorndyke, upson... a little slower, please. ...through virginia, pennsylvania, ohio... he's making for canada. kentucky, tennessee, into mayberry on route 10. where then? to elm street. 4-1-1 elm street. i got it. i got it! come on, let's go! let's get the axes! go where? well, where he said, to 411 elm street. ( singsongy ): thank you very much. hey, barney, don't that address sound a little familiar to you? familiar?! how can it sound familiar? he just now told it to me this second. what do...? wait a minute. 411 elm street? that's where i live! maybe his subconscious took a wrong turn in ohio. the owner of the still is barney fife. t's not funny, otis! hey, that's a fine system you got there, barney. you ought to write a book on it. call it "the barney fife subconscious prober primer." ( both laughing ) all right, otis! out! oh, barney. out! out! out! come on! "barney fife's prober primer." out, out, out. out, out, out. out, out, out, out! and as for you, deputy, why don't you just take this chalk and go out and mark some cars! oh, come on, now, barney. come on, out! out! where's andy? we want to see the sheriff. you're lookin' at him. you? that's right. i been temporarily installed as sheriff, and i'm in power to act as one! does that convince you? now, what's your problem? you go first. you miserable, troublemakin' hyena. all right, osgood. hold it! you'll get your chance. i charge this no-good scum with breakin' the law! he just built a spike fence on the property line! oh, yeah? yeah! and my chickens ain't gettin' any sunlight! well, that's why i put up the fence in the first place! his hens kept hoppin' into my yard and scratchin' up my garden! hold it. hold it! hold it! you just try it! you think i won't, huh? you try it! that's it! into jail you go! ( all shouting ) quiet! barn. it's about time you got here, andy! we're suing you, andy taylor. yeah, and whatever he's suing you for i'm doubling! we got locked up on false charges! what's going on here? it's a complicated case. it's liable to drag out in the courts for years. i found a similar one in willoughby v. perkins. listen to this. "presiding judge decided on defacto misdemeanor. "dismissed the plaintiff's guilt pro quo argument and ruled sine ne mara." what do you think of that? i think you're a nut! ( prisoners yelling ) hey, wait. now, wait. wait. now, hold it. now, suppose you just tell me what's going on here. he built an illegal fence on the property line blocking the sunlight from my laying hens. his darn hens kept scratching up my yard and i don't have to put up for it. they ain't hurtin' his yard! now, hold it! you say he built the fence and it's blocking the sunlight? that's right, and the law says... wait, wait, wait. now, there's... there's all kinds of fences. now, it seems to me if that fence was made out of chicken wire why, them hens would still be getting sunlight and everybody'd be happy, right? ct to a chicken wire fence, do you? well... no. good. then the problem's settled, and everybody's happy. i knew if andy got back everything would be all right. you get my vote back. when andy got here everything would be all right. good decision, sheriff. i'm glad you showed up when you did. chicken wire. now, why didn't i think of that? yeah, why didn't you? bye, andy. thanks again. i'll see you. sheriff. ha! all right, boys. thank you again. act nice. try to get along with one another. there you are, barney. right there is a perfect example of what i was trying to tell you. as a sheriff, you've got to use different tactics and that takes experience. now, you understand, don't you, barney? now... now, now don't take on like that, barney. you're still the best deputy that ever was. you know that, don't you, barn? i never had any complaints about deputy barney fife. now, barney, don't let a silly little thing like what happened destroy your confidence in yourself. barney! rafe hollister. yup. sheriff, come to give myself up. well, that saves us both a little wear 'n' tear, don't it? what happened? you forget where you moved your still? no, it's the old woman. and she wants me to settle down and start farming again. when you come down to it, i guess plantin' corn does make more sense than bottling it. it does, it does. how is miz hollister? middlin', middlin'. she stomped her toe and complains about it a lot but otherwise, she's fine. uh-huh. well, you give her my very best. glad you come on in. i figured it was just a matter of time 'fore either you or your deputy caught up to me anyway, so i come on in. i guess you got it figured about right. uh... rafe? i, uh... i want you to do me a favor. hmm? i want you to go out and find my deputy, barney fife and give yourself up to him. you want me to what? i want you to find barney fife. i know you don't know him but you'll recognize him by his uniform and i want you to give yourself up to him. what you want me to do that for? if you'll do that huh? yes, and aunt bee she'll bring you some chicken and dumplings and sweet tater pie for supper... she will? she will. i'll do it. good. now, like i say you'll recognize him by his uniform and be sure, be sure and don't say anything about coming by here first. all right. chicken and dumplings? and sweet tater pie. i should have given myself up years ago. barney fife? the mood for talkin' today. well, this is important. you see... i don't want to hear your hard-luck stories. hey, there! don't you know any better than to ride your bicycle on the sidewalk, son? my mother won't let me ride it on the street. look, i got to talk to you. if you don't go away i'm going to lock you up as a public nuisance. now, what would happen if everybody rode their bicycles on the sidewalk? okay. are you still here? i'm trying to tell you something, mister. why don't you go pester somebody else? oh, i should have stayed up in the hills. hey! you come back here. we got laws in this town against jaywalkin'. you really asked for it this time. let me see some identification. think you can flaunt the laws in this town. what's that last name there? move it, move it! boy, andy, i got us a hot one this time. know who this is? who? rafe hollister. rafe hollister? great work, barney. you brought in rafe hollister? yeah, brought him in without firing a shot. all right, hollister, come on, move it! come on, pick 'em up! that cell over there! i declare, barney, there you are as cool as the center seed of a cucumber and you just brought in the most wanted man in the whole county. well, it's all in a day's work. no, boy, that there is real sheriffin' but i mean real sheriffin'. well... yeah, and speakin' of that, i... i guess we'll be losing you to greendale now. hello, sarah? get me mayor purdy. i mean, now that you've had a taste of sheriffin' and you like it... hello? mayor purdy? barney fife. uh, uh, listen, mayor, i'm afraid i'm not going to be able to take that sheriffin' job after all. well, you see, we're having trouble with bootleggers over here and i got to go out and hunt them down. and... well, you see werfner: you want to die? callisto: i want oblivion. i want my life to end! i want it all to stop! no nothing! this isn't about callisto. it's about something else. daughter of dahak. it's about hope. so much power it's almost scary. callisto is protecting hope, so whatever happens i got to take her out of the picture. no!