>> yes, yes, yes. >> greg: happy tuesday i love every 1 of you almost too much. let's get started. dylan old dany is trying to switch from chairman's gender influence or do standup comic. after the budweiser fiasco you have to admit that takes balls. i know where this is going. i government sponsor report says the country should move quickly to prevent ai from making humanity extinct which is why i've created a robot that pokes holes in condoms. [ laughter ] >> greg: stupid but the u.s. state department of the paints an alarming picture of the catastrophic national security risk posed by rapidly evolving ai. 1 man says i wouldn't worry about it. 74% of teens feel happy with no smart phones on hand the other are tied to a workbench in beijing and work for apple. for astronauts return to earth at the international space station they say they would've been backs sooner but they had to stop 43 times to. new special council investigation reports biden kept forgetting what a fax machine was he always had a problem with factual evidence. very little wordplay. 47% of american parents still feel -- still financially support adult children. while certain adult children aid their parents. a boeing whistleblower found dead in south carolina last seen having dinner with this lady. florida lawmakers voting to raise the minimum age for strippers to 21 except that the villages where stripper minimum age remain 75. female spring breakers are fighting more and more including a massive brawl this week and for lauderdale what were they fighting over. >> there is no hair there. quite hairless. police in new orleans say rats ate all the marijuana in their evidence room. as for the missing cash jewellery and ak-47s they say the rats ate that to. boeing mechanics were using hotel key cards as a makeshift tools but they didn't work say at the keep going back to the front desk. >> greg: i thought that would work. a mail carrier robbery is increased directly this year that mean somebody else is masturbating to my harry and dave the catalog thank you emily. a ukrainian strongman used his beard to pull a minibus. which broke the record set by the previous champion. they called the kid racist so they said placing good for those who love sports but hate douchebags. they've can their entire staff after being sold by the parent company. most of you never read deadspin but surely remember this story of how they smeared a 9-year-old kansas city chiefs fan a few months ago his parents took him to see the chiefs play the vegas raiders. here's what he wore to the game. nothing unusual. or for dinner at liz warrens. people dress up and put on face paint all the time the kid enjoying himself so deadspin had to put a stop to that. they can't stand a child enjoying anything other than a drag queen lap dance. roll the recap. >> greg: deadspin allege a child painted with his football team colors was blackface they had to face the notes function of the lawn mosque's exmac. the full photo not just the half painted black. >> greg: before whitey haider phillips who made himself the jesse some a lot of sports journalism it didn't matter he adds this is what you happen when you bad books disband books and try to erase hate and need to evolve and re-create racism better than before. a young kid wearing his favorite teams colors recrates racism better than before and accusing a child of that is how you're a racing hate to karen, [bleep] you. so they defamed a third-grader for having fun at a football game but sent to sing momentum shifted against the woke which trials her bosses got rid of the photo and added a merely an mouth apology we regret any suggestions we attack the fan now when they enter the door wearing lingerie that suggestive. but when your writer says a young fan found a way to hate black people and native americans at the same time you are not suggesting you are defaming the people he make the sports you cover possible. got worse for them and their writer a few months later this happened. now the 9 year old boys family is suing them for malicious and wantonly attacking the child alleging their race drenched to political agenda and the story is more hilarious that the kid is a member of a tribe. my only hope is that little chiefs fan gets enough money to buy deadspin and turn it into a pickle ball court. >> greg: turns at my prediction about the kids getting rich off it might actually happen. with the sale of deadspin they got an infusion of cash to pay the kid for when he wins the lawsuit. so maybe he can hang out with nick's andaman on their private yacht. so justice i will take it i suppose. i'm the real hero. justice prevailed and deadspin was dropped like a leo dicaprio's girlfriend on her 25th birthday. the journalism world hasn't taken a hit like this since the last book on warren harding's halitosis. as for the future deadspin they say the new owners plan to take a different content approach regarding the site's overall sports coverage. okay will here's a different approach. try the truth. crazy idea but who knows give it a shot it might feel weird at first but like a vibrating butt plug you will get used to it. so i have heard. [ laughter ] >> greg: that's what they tell me but deadspin is the latest news outlet to experience layoffs after vise, buys feed the feminist crack festa jezebel and a bunch of other places they didn't produce any journalism anybody cared about. it's what killed sports illustrated which used to be an institution before being a mental institution dedicated to punishing the men with swimsuit models who need extra room to hide their weenies. you might as well dump ice cold gatorade in her underwear. but the story is how the left is finally learning that hit pieces on regular peaceful is no replacement for content it might please losers on x but it makes you a terrible person. deadspin [bleep] around and found it with every pro athlete knows. if you stick your neck out at your job you won't have a job for long. there are rare exceptions of course. so let's close things out with wisdom from dave portnoy who knows about running a successful sport site. >> the deadspin everybody got fired again those [bleep] just don't get it. being miserable hating life never laughing it's never going to pay the bills. cu [bleep] [bleep] on the unemployment line again. [cheers and applause] >> and that is the moral of the story making up lies to anger people can generate quick web traffic but hate clicks aren't the business plan and when you lie to people and insult them for notice -- noticing you are lying they tend to go away. people read about sports for entertainment not lectures is where they drink beer watch movies and go about their lives like normal humans and if you tell them they are racist sexist monsters they'll take their business elsewhere. and what about the author karen of the repulsive deadspin article we he was named in the lawsuit 1 of the writers who got fired. he's updated his profile picture to say open to work. but, hey, if he wants to continue to falsely accuse white people racism he can also -- always work at msnbc. >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. he likes his women like he likes his comedy, dark, comedian joe m'chigeeng. she talks oath asked her words get carsick emily compagno. and this jesus has a lot of followers the don't make them cross. how tap jesus. and her idea of gaining wait is putting on more hair kat timpf. [cheers and applause] >> a lot of people don't realize joe you are once a professional athlete. i don't know what you were but you are an athlete. >> i don't know if they consider bodybuilding professional athlete but i would die guess. >> greg: are you glad deadspin is now dead? >> i will withhold judgement just because it was bought by a european country and europe and sports often equals soccer and personally i would rather be smeared as a racist then endure a 4 hour log 0-0 tie. what do i care of people call me racist i have a lot of plaque acquaintances. >> can you name 1? >> past. [ laughter ] >> greg: emily are we starting to see a revolution against woke media as you see these examples falling away? >> revolution is a strong word in this kind of formalized fashion but we are seeing accountability we are seeing reaction and of the masses to your point have been revolting in the form of their pocketbook in terms of what they don't red and listen to. nobody reads or listens to deadspin because they were full of crap but now we see it normalized in the marketplace but what i love is the board of directors there letter to the employees where they said just so you guys know we went shopping around as if that matters to somebody just fired like okay it's like having 1 of your parents be like she came unto me i wasn't looking for the affair. bottom line they are out of work but it's a good thing because at the end of the day these platforms which have been publishing these extremist views for that click bait so they could increase the advertisements that was distractive destroying families livelihoods the ones we know about are the ones that gained notoriety in lawsuits and mainstream media but there were a lot of people who were hurt and maligned and these guys keep sending the content out get paid for but finally not anymore. i love watching this dumpster i won't reserve judgement i pass judgement all the way i love this. [applause] >> greg: hotep you don't want to rejoice when people lose their jobs except for the people holding these jobs would rejoice when people got their lives turned upside down by their crappy click bait. >> i'm smoking a big fat [bleep] blunt to this 1 we're smoking on deadspin tonight. in ancient chinese huber driver once told me go woke go broke. okay? what this comes back to his there is no audience for their type of material. it doesn't exist. they actually do exist they just tend to chop off of their [bleep] the weird mentally ill people that nobody wants to be around teaching our children? those are the people actually tuning into these media headlines but normal people that watch things like a gutfeld. >> greg: thank you. people with some sanity we aren't clicking on that stuff it's going to go broke they are going to go out of business and it's a failed strategy and people are seeing it manifest. >> greg: it helps shows like us because we use content to [bleep] all over them. that is why i hope that the view never gets carol -- canceled because we are still trying to fill the hole that brian stelter left. it was a big hole. so where do you think... imagine your them. where do you go to find another job do you go back to school get a degree go into academia because what else can you do? >> i guess. you think we would've seen this coming when they actually published an article trying to cancel and 9-year-old. i 9-year-old kid. that was an article pitched it went through editors and it was actually published. i would like to know what were the pitch -- what were the pitches that were rejected. that's what got through. this is actually the best to deadspin has to offer it's worse than we even know them. what were people authoring -- offering to write that they said no. as bad as we see it is it's worse them even know. >> greg: could you see is your infant racist. >> you could go younger. >> greg: if you are at home and you googled is your infant racist. >> greg: somebody would tell you yes. >> counterpoint the kat a lot of 9 -year-olds are jerks and deserve to be canceled and they get away scott free the kid at the bus stop who's like you should take owes them back. >> greg: granted if i was 9 years old and with a group of 9 -year-olds i would come after you. you scream, please bully me groups of children. >> they haul or run forest and i'm like however, you've never seen that movie does have you seen that movie. >> he is wearing a members only jacket. [cheers and applause] >> you aren't aware about aware that hope-mac its members only. i'm kidding that's not a racist jacket i want him and takes get his free jackets. up next the va leaves the vet's high-end drive because they're obsessed with de i've. when migraine strikes, do you question the tradeoffs of treating? ubrelvy is another option. it works fast to eliminate migraine pain. do not take with strong cyp3a4 inhibitors. allergic reactions to ubrelvy can happen. most common side effects were nausea and sleepiness. ask about ubrelvy. when my doctor gave me breztri for my copd, things changed for me. breztri gave me better breathing, symptom improvement, and reduced flare—ups. breztri won't replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. it is not for asthma. tell your doctor if you have a heart condition or high blood pressure before taking it. don't take breztri more than prescribed. breztri may increase your risk of thrush, pneumonia, and osteoporosis. call your doctor if worsened breathing, chest pain, mouth or tongue swelling, problems urinating, vision changes, or eye pain occur. ask your doctor about breztri. bladder leak underwear has one job. i just want to feel protected! especially for those sudden gush moments. always discreet protects like no other. with a rapid dry core that locks in your heaviest gush quickly for up to zero leaks. always discreet- the protection we deserve! everyone loves an extra $100 dollars in their pocket... he sure does... ...they do too have a turbotax expert file your taxes for you by march 31st... ...to get $100 dollars back... ...instantly. only from intuit turbotax [cheers and applause] instead of helping that's they send porn and made threats. a review of the veteran affairs diversity equity and inclusion office uncovered a hostile workplace with rampant gossip, and in do you window. a senior manager even fired a mid-level dude because they both parent -- both wanted to sexually harassed the same employee. that tells you 1 thing the employee must be pretty hot. not only that employees plan wasteful events like over staffing stupid diversity training courses and engage in petty turf wars likely the only wars diversity hires have a chance of winning. a de i boss reportedly retired when confronted with evidence and the chief of staff was moved to a different office pending discipline for sexually texting with a subordinate to all happening and joe biden's veteran affairs department not that joe biden has any idea. it's in the agency you and i pay for the agency supposed to help our nations veterans who already take a backseat to illegal immigrants with 8000 veterans killing themselves every year these not bags at dei are focused on filing complaints left and right and when they aren't doing that they hit on anything with a pulse and why not? they weren't hired for merit so why would they be fired for it? it's enough to make a lloyd austin go awol. and female employees say their complaints were swept under the rug. well at least they are familiar with housekeeping. >> i don't know who the sexist is on our step we will send them to the de i. wherever it goes whenever you hire a group independent of the actual business in their job is to treat it like wrongdoing and they can't find any they have to make it up. >> and they operate with impunity. they are created as a way of please educate us. you are the top of the food chain we are all subservient to your concepts and at the end of the day they were out to lunch. that group of 400 people in that department 400 salaries we were paying them he paid for the 125 page audit we still paid for the disciplinary actions and the transfers and as you said 22 veterans kill themselves a day foundations like the hunter 7 foundation multiple testimony before congress all the time pleading with us from the hill to just listen for 1 second to what the needs are of these guys that lay their lives down for our country and make so many sacrifices and this is what comes out of it a rampant culture of gossip and in doing do so 12-year-old jerks are what we were paying for while our veterans can't even get in for an appointment if it wasn't so tragic it would be laughable but this is exactly why the governor in florida cleaned house of dei in the school system seas branded a racist but there's only 1 housekeeping that needs to happen and it said this [bleep] at that to be shut down. >> greg: you are like an angry real estate agent. >> i love my suit don't make fun of it. >> what is the difference in diversity there the difference between anal and missionary? >> it's amazing. they need a de i department -- at dei department to go after the dei. >> you go overseas you fight for this country paid for by your viewers. you get your arms torn off in a crash by boeing you come back you can't tickle your willy's so you call the va office you get down there and it's biden and tricked diddy having a freak off and they won't let you have a hand. >> greg: that's in interesting perspective is wanting where would go. >> greg: i don't give a crap if dei destroys north face or nike but these are veterans. this is no impact on their well-being it only takes away from it. >> these are veterans is that when his pointed out real problem serious ones and again of course not to minimize actual serious sexual harassment right but this doesn't appear to be what's happening here as we heard about them banning that world war ii kissing photo from the offices with this case happening almost 80 years ago might have not been consensual i imagine being a veteran sitting there reading about this you know what else was nonconsensual , me being drafted. that's a real problem. i'm also surprised it doesn't happen more often than it does. de -- dei people are trained looking for reasons to be fired i'm surprised they don't just do that to each other all the time. >> the corollary would be the cia trained topple governments abroad so why wouldn't they do it here? that's all they're being taught to tolerable their own companies. >> the volcanoes in hayti. >> too dark? >> greg: i low-carb diet i will say that. so joe you are a self described ladies man and the ladykiller how would you handle the va if they were applying you? >> it's a bad situation when your department is messed up so the first thing first is this that thing straight but i will say this. they could use me over there because they don't know how to hit on women. if they hit on women by attaching them to work e-mails they'll be quite lonely. you don't use e-mail to pick up women do use it to break up with women. here's how you pick up women. you print -- pretend you're not interested let them know you are interested in a insulting way. saying, hey, you look like some of the women i make out with. just not as hot. >> that worked for you joke? >> no. >> greg: it's amazing the most toxic part of the company is the part that is supposed to identify toxicity elsewhere. we knew this would happen because there is no requirement for competence or a meritocracy. i will get off my soapbox although it does feel nice. although it does feel nice. up next biden staff decrees not. more questions, please. , her2-negative, node-positive, early breast cancer with a high chance of returning as determined by your doctor when added to hormone therapy. diarrhea is common, may be severe, or cause dehydration or infection. at the first sign, call your doctor, start an anti-diarrheal , and drink fluids. before taking verzenio, tell your doctor about any fever, chills, or other signs of infection. verzenio may cause low white blood cell counts, which may cause serious infection that can lead to death. life-threatening lung inflammation can occur. tell your doctor about any new or worsening trouble breathing, cough, or chest pain. serious liver problems can happen. symptoms include fatigue, appetite loss, stomach pain, and bleeding or bruising. blood clots that can lead to death have occurred. tell your doctor if you have pain or swelling in your arms or legs, shortness of breath, chest pain, and rapid breathing or heart rate, or if you are nursing, pregnant, or plan to be. i'm making my own way forward. talk to your doctor about reducing your risk. >> are you satisfied with the results you get from expensive nutritional supplements that don't contain more than 12 minerals? 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[ laughter ] >> greg: it's nice to see joe ask for something besides a nurse that was in new hampshire where the motto is live free or die and joe refuses to do either >> greg: nobody ever asks who are you asking for permission from. who is telling him he can't ask questions or take questions. >> i hope the press secretary because he's trashing her job. really good question though because who... is probably an easy job because you're just telling an old do ice creams coming soon. you aren't taking questions today it's probably a fun job you can laugh at his silly [bleep] all the time i don't know who's calling calling the shots but some say obama, i don't know but it doesn't matter because nobody's running the country it's been a failed experiment and prices are high, i can't afford crab legs. it's absolutely ridiculous out here. but what i've realized is my family is going to get a lot smaller this election season because anybody in my family voting for biden is getting cut off. [applause] >> i'm done. you aren't getting a birthday gift a christmas gift i don't know you. if you are my friend you are cut off i am done with these biden people. >> greg: catch would you like to comment on that i would you like me to play you some sound on tape from the testimony you get to pick. >> i really don't care. >> greg: let's play it. >> nobody is suggesting he's senile that's disrespectful of any senior people of disability with their memory. to do such as shameful. joe biden is a competent good president with american values. >> greg: drumhead them and took acuity to navigate this situation donald trump did not. i believe as habit that president biden probably committed a verbal slipper to during the interview i'm not sure any of that matters though because win the interview is over he completely exonerated president biden. >> he didn't he said there was insufficient evidence to charge him because he was to mentally gone to show any intention at all. the criminal act was proven he was just incoherent. >> also the other video from before that shows a picture of it or whatever that's not my job i don't know how you do that but i noticed the people around him appeared also be quite old. i just noticed that therefore i've always said this and it's true it's not really an age thing. they know that because of they are worried he will be bested by this room of old also people. >> greg: it's a comparison there that's more damaging. >> and whoever's telling him he can't take questions they should tell him to stop asking if he's allowed to take questions because he does that quite a lot it almost gives us the misconception he might not be in charge. >> it's to appoint the audience think that's funny. >> oh he's not in charge. >> are they laughing with him or at him because i'd give those old people credit because i don't know them they are probably pretty smart. so who do you think is running the show? >> people shouldn't have handlers, alligators should have handlers. and kat is right they should say don't ask if you are allowed to ask questions but then say if i am allowed to ask if i am allowed to ask you questions. everybody knows biden is senile my problem now is the people covering it up especially the journalists staging press conferences because it's basically a fake event why not just higher actors to play the journalists. [applause] not alec baldwin though. >> greg: he would shoot from the hip i mean that in a metaphorical way. >> greg: emily what is up in general. >> 1 of my favorite parts is there was a new york times correspondent who wrote about inside-in -- info and after biden's first press conference 2 years ago when i was a million years younger. apparently he took questions for 2 hours and afterwards joe biden was like why did nobody stop that she was fuming at his staff like g realized shouldn't that phrase be preserved for an attempt on his life after say reagan had an attempted assassination that level of anger and indignant's over the president taking questions that's who we have in the oval office and easter bunny who tackles him to get them away from reporters. the thought that this president actually answers questions so abject horrifying to those closest to them it shows what a train wreck it would be if he actually did and i hate he's propped up and is continuing to be propped up by people in congress whose salaries we pay they've normalized it and tell us that we are the gullible ones that we are the delusional ones. does anybody else see the emperor -- naked emperor he's bought ass naked and it's stupid as hell. >> i group thinking the president was higher up than the easter bunny. >> not this administration. coming up is your car a narc every time you put it in park wanna know how i get this glow?! i get ready with new olay indulgent moisture body wash. it smells amazing and gives my skin over the top moisture! from dull to visibly glowing in 14 days! ♪ see the difference with olay. what is cirkul? cirkul is the fuel you need to take flight. cirkul is the energy that gets you to the next level. cirkul is what you hope for when life tosses lemons your way. cirkul, available at walmart and drinkcirkul.com. we're here with chris counahan of our local leaffilter. so chris, tell us how leaffilter is different from every other gutter protection on the market. with leaffilters, patented filter technology, there are no gaps, no openings, no place for debris to get in at all. and we install leaffilter on your existing gutters. it's a permanent solution. you'll never have to climb a ladder to clean out your gutters again. that's amazing, chris. tell me about the process. simple and easy. just give us a call, set up an appointment. we'll come out and give you a free gutter inspection. if they're sagging, we'll repair them. if they're broken, we'll replace them. if they're in good shape, our local team will install leaffilter in as little as a few hours. wow. and i understand you guys have a lifetime no clogs guarantee? we do. it's actually a lifetime transferable no clogs guarantee. you know, that's peace of mind and then some. so, how do people sign up? to schedule your free inspection. call 833-leaffilter today our agents are standing by. or visit leaffilter.com. [applause] >> greg: should we be concerned. according to a new report several automotive makers have secretly collected data about your driving habits through car software so your car is spying on you should we be concerned 1 fellow at a 130 page document showing 640 of his trips accounting speeding in a sharp exhilaration should we be concerned? >> i saw a corporate website saying it will make you a better driver. that's 1 way to put it. you will be better because everybody's always watching you. the bottom line is i don't know how anybody gets away with murder these days. >> greg: it's hard. >> i would say impossible. >> greg: it's not impossible. >> anything is possible. >> i'm concerned because it does this mean the geico gecko will know where my houses. i will be pulling up smoking the weed with a lizard. >> should we be concerned hotep? >> anything else rona has to go get your old car with a heavy bumper that's the car i want no electronics you need to put all your muscle into turn that that's the best car. >> greg: big trunk to dress me they come in handy. joe in fact insurance companies will be tracking how you handle your car to assess your overall risk profile. you take a lot of risks. should we be concerned? >> i drop my insurance on i'm baldwin's brother when i get to an accident but what worries me is all the spying by the government and corporations need to stop people. people say if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to worry about but can you say same thing about your congressman or judge or family. that's who i turn to when i'm committing extortion. >> greg: emily you like to hit the open road. cars were once the ultimate symbol of freedom but it seems like that is changing should we be concerned? >> we should be. i mean i wish everybody was still driving manual muscle cars it's frightening honestly. the thing is it's arbitrary so you have to consent -- consented to opt in but a lot of it happened all of a sudden why did my insurance go up because you braked 25 times between here and the grocery store. could you imagine if there was insight to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. it took you 13 minutes to drive what should take 4 where did you go. the possibility or endless but at the end of the day the government's already up your ass and now are in your car it's 1 more component of biden's america i hate it so much this is frightening. no part of this has a place in our garage. >> greg: you're worried they will end all affairs? >> it was 1 time. >> greg: so it's true about real estate agents. >> i'm never going to wear a suit again. vacant houses out there. up next will a minimum wage for strippers age. there's news, and there's good news. like thousands of patients receiving free life changing surgeries, from volunteer doctors and nurses on hospital ships. all made possible by donations. we love good news. >> greg: a story and 5 words. >> greg: stripping agent raised to 21 last week the florida legislature raised the minimum age for strippers from 18 to 21. but if a stripper uses a fake id she won't be punished only the strip club. is that fair to the strip clubs you hang out in? >> none of this is fair at all when i was 18 years old i could've joined the army if i wanted to. when 18 -year-olds can't get jobs stripping how do they pay for my meals? >> i date strippers that's the joke. >> greg: and the real joke as they are mail strippers. and you look like the kind of fellow who enjoys a classy gentleman's club with bottle service of high. what the say you? >> i used to love strip clubs some people go there for pleasure i'm just trying to figure out how they up there right. but this is a great idea fantastic because girls are in high school anticipating the day they turn 18 so they can take their clothes off know you can spend the next 3 years doing something else of your life then see if you want to do that or something else. i completely supported bumped the age up. >> it is a good point right. most of your worst decisions in life are made before you are 21 right. >> not in my case. [ laughter ] maybe gives them some time to think about their options. >> because other avenues of sex work that are illegal never happen anyways right. so now they just have to turn on guys for zero dollars. if you are old enough to go to work you can make this decision yourself and as i pointed out earlier doesn't affect anything if somebody wants to do something in this field of work they will. >> emily you are the lawyer or dresses 1 at night. >> never wearing a suit again. >> is this a good idea or is it a bad idea those are your 2 choices no other choice. >> i choose see. i think it's a good illustration of what happens when you make these kind of things. sentencing is prettied zirconium 15 years of felling elite -- a felony if you knowingly employ someone and fake id doesn't matter so even if you are tricked you are on the hook as an employer but also extends to adult bookstores and a lot of things to my point is when you contrast that with san francisco other west coast states and cities where you can unionize in a flourished they say the more we regulate it and make it legal the safer of these girls are so we will see to your point if that's the case if there is an uptick in that. >> to adult bookstores still exist can you imagine how lonely that must be with the internet there it's just like the public library. >> you find at the veteran affairs dei office. [ laughter ] >> greg: nicely done. we will be right back. 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