[ cheering and applause ] [ ♪ ] >> greg: i know, i know you missed us, he missed us, didn't you i get it happy wednesday everybody. joe biden had a big way and on super tuesday, he woke up. consider the alternative i mean the president did lose american samoa and when he found out he said it was a shame i really like their cookies. meanwhile donald trump went 14-1 losing only vermont, vermont has a population of over 645,000 people or his trump calls of them total losers. nikki haley suspended her presidential campaign after a series of super tuesday losses with 46 delegates compared to trump getting 741 and still called it a success proving once again women can't do mast. according to a report the biden administration has flown 320 illegal aliens for airports. joe claims to having things in common with these people as they don't speak english either. charles barkley said he would punch black people in the face for wearing trump mug shot t-shirts luckily as victims won't have to worry about him having any rings. woke officials at the department of veterans affairs moved a band for agency buildings that iconic photo of all the ward to times square kissed saying it was no longer appropriate for today's military so they replaced it with this. and after emerging from a coma last summer madonna claims she spoke with god who said all my come on, that was funny. >> i like madonna. >> greg: it was funny to me. the governor announced that he would crack down on spring break festive videos underage coeds looking to get drunk and have sex have to go back to college. hillary clinton telling voters to accept the reality biden is old and reelect him anyway and bill told hillary to accept the reality he is going to spring break. instagram was down for 4 hours yesterday leaving many with no other choice but to ask people directly if they like how there but looks. that's all it's good for. facebook suffered a widespread outage with half a million users reporting they couldn't access their accounts it's the first time anything is gone down on there. rare form tonight. it's the antibiotics. kirsten won't really see mr c collection to the senate she will hire a new wardrobe consultant low. and -- woman got a record for her unusually large tone which measured 5 inches around in her acceptance speech she said alright let's do a monologue so his trump cruising to victory in the primaries and biden's slow implosion we should once again get used to there curiously time stories to bashed him. this 1 comes from rolling stone if you don't remember the magazine it sucks. the recent piece claims to trump white house was rife with drug use the headline reading drums white house was awash in speed and xanax essentially saying it's no different than the rolling stone offices. but here's what's weird. what led them to look into this is a report released in january by the defence department detailing how the white house medical unit managed to drugs during the trump administration. how nice of the defence department to rat them out talk about proof of the deep state. of the info came from the defence department before an election it's all most as if the timing and release was meant to undermine a candidate seems like a big deal right? this is the dependant -- defence department people there's nothing else for you to focus on they left a billions in military equipment in afghanistan and they are worried about ambien use by some flack in the west wing. lloyd austin didn't show up for a week they are concerned i white house staff or call to xanax 4 years ago don't you have better things to do like employing an activist to oversee nuclear energy waste disposal. were stickier fingers than jeffrey toobin i know. the piece concludes they didn't comply with federal guidance by dismissing nonemergency controlled medicine such as ambien without verifying patient identity. for those don't know grover joan gets you out of the ambien haze after a long flight which is normal for anybody in a physician which requires travelling like reporters and politicians and drug mules who supply a de novo for growth hormone. what did they do to fill in the missing details? call the unnamed source department so with those be the same unnamed sources who gave us russian collusion or told us the laptop from hell was fake are the ones telling us behind closed doors joe biden is sharp as ever? starting to think the unnamed sources 1 person was just a master of disguise. but i suppose it's easier to lie when nobody knows who you are what if it's true anyways. it shows that even when it comes to drugs trump of the biden hands down. when you think of the current white house you think of hunter and coke and whenever they put into joe to keep them upright. as anyone who's been around a user knows cocaine is a drug that makes you babble incoherently makes you thank you are smarter and more important and better than you are which is why on the street it's known as jesse. >> no stone unturned tonight, hey,. >> while they specialize in a drug-based on escaping your failures apparently the trump white house was taking drugs to allow them to work harder. at the biden white house people did drugs to cope with a lifeless boss at the trump white house they did drugs to keep up with the maniac. they say they took stimulants because they needed an energy boost after a late night or pick me up to handle uniquely stressful job i get it this way i spike the office water cooler with ritalin but it also claims some trumpeters took xanax to suit themselves while dealing with sky high levels of stress in the highest pressure environment in america so they used it as intended there's a story. what a scandal. what's next and expose the use of combs on john bolton's moustache? the regular applications of sleep powered her in these 2 writers actually think it's an election year scope rating that was trump pushing to return the power it isn't just a matter of historical interest a preview of a possible future. so rolling stone after decades of glorifying quick casual drug use is worried about misuse of stimulants do they not remember who ran rolling stone? in 2017 the detail how coke was everywhere at the office if you heard an office door slam his pavlovian response was to find a who did cocaine without them. what happened to you? change her name to kidney stone you ossified believe or-mac -- [ bleep ] >> greg: did they realize as they describe the drugs that feel their profession. it's true entrenched in the information industry drug testing you to make sure you are on them. so what if some of trump's staff got prescriptions you would need a stimulant if you were around mike pencil day. the fact is the only thing higher than hunter during the biden white house is the price of eggs and trump's current poll numbers which is why these stories are going up as joe is in trouble so expect every possible shot to be launched at big orange, fake allegations, more drugs and sex in urine it's making me nostalgic for larry cutler's hot tub. as trump racks that primary wins they will get more desperate and that's coming from me, not some unnamed source. what's welcome tonight's guest. is here is bill for hosting a game show,. [ cheering and applause ] as they filed a restraining order as the communications expert there. and she's from detroit with parts from many different factories. new york times best-selling author. and when he goes to lift weights use tectonic plates. former nwa world champion tyrus. generally, what's with the defence department is it normal? >> with trumpets normal its own normal it sort of a surprise when you consider the fbi and cia entire intelligence community the state department the foreign intelligence services all were conspiring all along and you are exactly right the reason this is happening now is because they realized they woke up last week or so and said oh [ bleep ] this guy has a path to win and he is going to win and looking at the issues that are going to be talked about for the next months he is going to win. >> it's funny to see rolling stone come out against drug use. >> they don't talk about the cocaine found in the white house they also say that a staffer for the first lady went into the medical unit once and asked for xanax and was told no so the rampant drug use is somehow regulated also that on these international trips which were incredibly gruelling to show up and immediately face foreign dignitaries and foreign press scores the white house dr would walk for the plane and say who needs what and they would track it so it seems on the upper end up with this is a hit piece because no trump is the presumptive nominee and what do you know drug use is rampant -- rampant but ignore that it's done legally appropriately and there's hunter biden on the other side. >> if i worked for trump i would be on drugs. like i've talked to them on the phone its exhausting talking to them you have to be on your a game all the time. >> my favourite quote from this article was whenever someone needs we will fill this 1 source recalls. sounded like a pharmacy almost. it sounds like a good pharmacy. i wish there was more of that vibe at my local walgreens actually they are always out of stuff in their shortages of drugs right about that problem's people face rather than people taking xanax on capitol hill 4 years ago i bet they still are. it's legal prescription drugs the only thing that freaks me out is that there were rumours you should until the counsellors things because if my therapist was saying things i said in sessions you would never see me again. you think i am joking but i am serious. they say it might have been overblown and there wasn't much evidence of it apparently there was lots of evidence people took legal lisa prescribes stimulants and xanax, the horror. i don't understand how this was public maybe they thought there would be something more to it and went ahead with the anyways welcome to the world people around xanax here. >> at me and were trying to say the rolling stones have journalistic standards. there are no journalistic standards there. >> greg: they wanted something on trump and there wasn't anything there. >> listen the doj and the organizations they literally lost a black man on black history month the most observant group he was in the hospital nobody knew, they lost of the broader on black history month. the 1 time you're supposed to pay attention. they should have at least acknowledged him and nobody saw him so at that point there should be a representative from the woke to be like we was messing around guys we didn't so topping that off what they are going to do is what they have been doing all the bad stuff they usually accuse trump and his administration doing, they are doing so they are setting us up that there was more than 1 bag of cocaine they say there will be more stuff that comes out as people realize they are losing their job so what they will do is say, yeah, they were getting cocaine but at least they weren't getting legal drugs prescribed from a doctor in front of people in the public eye that is disgusting. he had a private relationship with his drug dealer and how dare any of us look into that and to question it. we will start getting more and more of this stuff because we aren't getting a debate i keep saying it everyone keeps asking and we've answered it million times there's no debate if we could have a conversation with the other side we might be a better position but there's no conversation hence no debate so they will take a little things like this in turn it to equate it as the same like well his wife was doing drugs in the white house but hers were prescribed by a physician that's actually allowed to prescribe so that's what we will see saying vote for us to vote for us but there will be no actual debate. here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need... ...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost. my dry eye's made me a burning, stinging, 5-times-a-day,... ...makeup smearing drops user. i want another option that's not another drop. 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[ ♪ ] >> greg: he's read to read it -- read tweeting a muppet and is about to kick the bucket. he flapped his gum about cookie crumbs another shining example of his laser focused mental agility the white house tells us about he launched the task force aiming at lowering cost for american families so hold on to your balance of nature folks. >> give a message message for voters on super tuesday? if joe were a walmart greeter he would say hello as the customers left the store. and jean pierre says he has no trouble keeping up with this man sit may be he needs a cognitive test or 2. reporters are asked to not hold up light so they won't to walk towards him. of course joe attempted to shackle -- tackle shrink inflation you won't even notice what they are doing when they charges just as much. >> president joe biden: you don't even notice what they're doing when the charger just as much for the same size bag of potato chips knowing it is fewer chips. what you can notice the cookie monster. the cookie monster would notice his cookies were there i was stunned to find out that actually happened. >> greg: you know you are in trouble when you are listening to puppets to support a puppet. over cut from the same cloth like the cookie monster joe is also manipulated by somebody off-camera what does joe have to say? >> believe cookie concert -- cookie monster is a good guy came to the country illegally asked him why he wanted to come to america he said i love cookies and i said good enough for me buddies voting for me cookie monster kick him and all of his friends, they better mean think about it they are all minorities right? cookie monster is blue, oscar is green snuffle up the kiss is brown. told him he better vote for me or you ain't coloured. >> greg: is this a trend will we see biden talk about gay pride with bert and ernie is he going to do vegan rights with miss piggy he could do the whole gamut. that when caught me off guard. there seems to be this trend in the muppets would you saw with elmo last week the answer is collectively no as it's about the fact joe biden killed the u.s. economy single-handedly you want to know why you're getting less bang for your buck because the american consumer's saying i'm not going to buy the anymore because of not getting what i want you want to make a change dc won't do it haven't we learned that? it's not dc and it's not there rolled a step in and dictate how many cookies the cookie monster gets a bag of oreos it's not their place. they we need to make sure we secure our freedoms which they are doing under joe biden he has decimated the economy and is trying to distract by talking to him up it we probably believes is a voter at this point. the fact he was like i was shocked when i heard this. give me a break. do you think he has the sesame street wrapped up you think he doesn't know the kids can't vote? >> i don't take the bus anymore but when i did there would sometimes be an old person at the same stop babbling like that right there are more and more cookies are so on it's like okay, yeah, thinking in your head whose grandpa is this. like this grandpa shouldn't be sitting here waiting for the bus somebody get your grandpa i feel the same way watching the president of the united states. the cookie monster joke i mean i didn't hit the way you wanted it to it was a complete bomb going back onto a couple weeks if i had a joke like that i'd remove it from my set list. >> he keeps repeating it the whole shrink inflation it is brain's shrinking. >> i'm highly offended and upset going to go off a little bit. you are the president of the united states top guy the chief, you're basically america's grandfather if you are going to talk about the american treasure that is the cookie monster you better [ bleep ] have him next year. you're the president of the united states you're talking about the cookie monster and he's not there we are being bold assuming this is the actual cookie monster is talking about there could be a puerto rican cookie monster, could be his sons nickname for fun so we are just assuming just politicizing cookie monster maybe he wasn't there for a reason because he knows he has to make money and get cookies on both sides of the aisle so how dare you put cookie monster in this political [ bleep ] leave him out of that the reason the bags are small and there's no food in it is because you [ bleep ] it up. everybody knows nobody's wondering why the chips not working i know why it's because the economy sucks because grandpa screwed it up i don't need cookie monster for that. elmo don't have to ask me how i'm doing. do your drugs we don't need you we know what the problem is. honestly it doesn't look good. >> for america joe biden? >> greg: watching it it's like this isn't going to go to november is it? >> i don't see how it does but in politics at simple horror films the children's cartoons you got joe biden talking about shrink inflation with a blue cookie monster you will have donald trump talking about an invasion at the border of people joe biden intentionally let into the country raping children and murdering students in america and they will go side-by-side and nobody is going to the children's cartoon everybody is going to the horror flick it's the same thing of global warming. why do democrats always win because catastrophe film sells out. nobody wants to go with the everything is okay film and that's what he is trying to do here. when trump talks about the issues people care about it's going to be devastating for biden and his little blue monster. >> greg: we'll see let's move on, tyrus? to make a sarong guy if you want the stats you bring in the account not cookie monster. amity cookies we short, 1, 2 oooh! i can't wait for this family getaway! shingles doesn't care. shingles is a painful, blistering rash that can last for weeks. ahhh, there's nothing like a day out with friends. that's nice, but shingles doesn't care! 99% of adults 50 years or older already have the virus that causes shingles inside them, and it can reactivate at any time. a perfect day for a family outing! guess what? shingles doesn't care. but shingrix protects. only shingrix is proven over 90% effective. shingrix is a vaccine used to prevent shingles in adults 50 years and older. shingrix does not protect everyone and is not for those with severe allergic reactions to its ingredients or to a previous dose. an increased risk of guillain-barré syndrome was observed after getting shingrix. fainting can also happen. the most common side effects are pain, redness, and swelling at the injection site, muscle pain, tiredness, headache, shivering, fever, and upset stomach. shingles doesn't care. but shingrix protects. ask your doctor or pharmacist about shingrix today. >> a story and 5 words. 5 words iconic kiss photo and un- band. a official put out a memo abandoning the iconic kiss from all facilities because it depicts a alton comes -- nonconsensual act inconsistent with their policy against sexual harassment and assault but after backlash he saw it on twitter and reversed the decision and un- band the photo. >> they just need to leave to -- cookie monster allowed it all spirals from here. this again? at some point we have to say no, no. he just came back from war he survived world war ii wasn't a videogame it was horrible things these young men and women went through and he came through in the first thing he saw was a nurse who is happy to see him because if you come home from war with a smile on your face means you 1 so when everyone sees you they say yea especially back then probably hug you are kiss you and welcome you back i don't think as soon as that was over she looked at him and said you know, let's go to hr. he just risked his life so we could sit here and these little chairs and talk [ bleep ] about cookie monster i don't see her punching or scratching at the time not like today where we would take videos and pictures of she was in trouble those real american men around there would've said, hey, and stopped him. this is what adults do they are happy and it's okay to kiss people it's fine. >> greg: cat were you offended by the photo. >> i'm relieved that they don't have any other problem is to be solving i suppose. no more homelessness or addiction or mental health issues. it's how dare you focus. find me 1 veteran who can say their biggest problem with seeing this photo sitting in an office and say i'm here to complain about the photo in the lobby. find me 1 and i will go [ bleep ] myself. >> i stand with you. such a gentleman he make sure he doesn't mess with her hair. i don't even do that. this dude still remembered common courtesy is not up pulling error is her hair back. >> i think it's offensive to pretend veterans don't sacrifice and go through more and don't have bigger problem is then looking at this picture. >> greg: and the thing is this happened because of end awoken us talking about it. the lady who made the decision her boss found out about it on twitter and i guess the larger problem here is the idea we live in a culture in time where this would even be an idea somebody would have. it so incredibly stupid but i also think when some but he wants to ban something they should try it first and the lady who bandit has she ever walked for times square and locked lips with a sailor during fleet week i'm thinking probably a but if she hasn't it was a bad experience and maybe she would be the first person to complain. >> greg: an interesting experiment. >> that's the point -- that's the point you went with. >> i'm thinking she's never been in that situation right. >> greg: let's offensive about the picture is it depicts only 2 genders. >> it didn't hit the woke metre i suppose so they put out a memo to take it down the most dumb idiotic thing i've seen. it's a victory photo when people see this they feel good about the country it's a sailor coming home from war and, in fact, those people would go on parades together in the future her granddaughter came out and said these people were fast friends this was not a harassment thing which is what the va is writing memos about but good on mcdonough for turning around and saying this is dumb and restored a photo find 1 veteran who says this is keeping me away from the va. >> maybe i guy waiting for a lien might have been mad looks like they might be there a minute. >> the adults feel like they are coming back home at least 1 hopefully there's more. coming up protesters confront ao if you have chronic kidney disease you can reduce the risk of kidney failure with farxiga. because there are places you'd rather be. farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal, dehydration, urinary tract, or genital yeast infections, and low blood sugar. a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. stop taking farxiga and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this infection, an allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ scout is protected by simparica trio and he's in it to win it! simparica trio is the first chew with triple protection. whoa fleas! and ticks! (♪) intestinal worms! whoa! heartworm disease! no problem with simparica trio! this drug class has been associated with neurologic adverse reactions including seizures. use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. for winning protection— go with simparica trio. >> it's a video of the day. >> greg: video of the day aoc gets ambushed, rowlett. >> is it okay that there is a genocide happening and you're not -- your not calling it a genocide. >> you are going to cut this in clip it so it's out of context. ird said that it was and you are going to pretend that i said it wasn't over and over again. you are not helping these people or anybody. >> greg: let's get to the most important part of the video what was going on with her fiancé? >> it like i'm not getting involved i'm just going to hang out here i've got a beard. that was my first thought you deserved better than that honestly i would be so mad those lake you handle that it's horrible to think i mean obviously i doubt she would say the same but people doing this thing where it's like say the thing i want you to say and if you don't say the thing you are the thing i say you are, shut up it doesn't help anybody ever and it's because they want to feel important more than anything no problem's are getting solve this way she is correct about that but i'm hoping she at least yelled to him. >> greg: he's going to be sleeping on the futon, not the couch. that's satisfying to see somebody on the receiving end on the kind of behaviour they are unleashed on others basically the teacher met a prized pupil. >> she is not known for her quiet calm demeanour is never seen her at cost people in public but we seen her lose her cool on capitol hill and democrat saying you syrup of republican your cost and yell at them you do this it's not okay on either side you shouldn't chase people around screaming at them in public unless they are a patriots fan and you are a buffalo bills fan but i've a long seated anger it patriots fans. the fact is she shouldn't have lost her cool you need to keep walking the reason it's a viral and it's clip is because she turned around and screamed at him like a wild person you're not going to win that argument. >> greg: she claimed she was almost murdered for the second time. >> like how she says the video will be taken out of context but the whole video is there. what's the saying if you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas we need to update that with something because these people we all sleep with our dogs so they give fleas a bad name. this is what you created, enjoy it, have fun. >> flea sympathy didn't see that coming. >> greg: let's go back to the fiancé. >> i'm happy to. i know that look. i have lived at that look. listen her fiancé strikes me as a solutions guy they were probably try to have a meal or dinner she's forcing him to go to our movie he didn't want to see and win the people came up to him he probably said something like let's just do our thing don't engage follow me and she was like, yeah, and then they said something in the camera got turned on so she had to show out in front of the camera what we are finding out his they always say they eat their own the unaffected become affected then there's the un- unaffected he chose the date somebody who likes the camera more than her job or even time with him. the video should have been on with my family and you know my stance on this have a good day no comment and keep going there was a chance and didn't go her way because they are turning now they made a deal. they like to dance with the extremes. the extremes are great because they show up they defend you online wherever you are but understand there is enough sector wiki. not only are you in line with hamas they are never going to stops when you have a normal day talking about something else they are going to eat you and pretty soon the squad will turn on her, they will all turn on each other because they claim to support something they really don't she now has buyers remorse rate. they put aside on something with this beautiful world of consequences. >> greg: it's what happened when 2 forces who believe there's no discussion are at each other because you aren't -- of these things aren't up for discussion and they are screwed. i'm glad we solved it being a fake debate. up next group in the moo to duckduckgo on all your devie duckduckgo comes with a built-n engine like google, but it's pi and doesn't spy on your searchs and duckduckgo lets you browse like chrome, but it blocks cooi and creepy ads that follow youa from google and other companie. and there's no catch. it's fre. we make money from ads, but they don't follow you aroud join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today. >> greg: tonight on should we be concerned, nude bowling is a thing the pennsylvania nudist group known as the pittsburgh area naturists will host an event called balls out naked bold -- naked bowling. is that funny to? apparently you aren't concerned. it's open to anybody who buys a 25-dollar ticket nudity required should we be concerned? >> you can't avenue beach where it's not required because then you would get a bunch of creepers. i remember going to a bar which was a topless karaoke bar they think they had mechanical bowling. -- a mechanical bull but it was quite memorable. that's all i have. >> greg: so you aren't concerned okay how about you how deeply you concerned as they say women can wear bottoms to be more inclusive. >> that they said to be more inclusive and we'll -- of women on their cycle which makes little sense. >> migrating? >> otherwise you might have little mouse tails hanging out. >> greg: you see how concerned i am? i'm very concerned. >> they said cycle is if you are comfortable enough with the human body your hosting a naked bowling event but you can't call it a period that's what concerns me. nobody talks like that right great. >> you technically just it. >> greg: how about you are you concerned should we be concerned? she hit the eject button 3 times on the chair. >> i'm concerned it's a topic that people are doing it's the most disgusting thing i've heard of i don't like bowling had no reason to go to a bowling alley i can't think of the worst way to spend time bunch of naked random people it will make me a most never want to go bowling again. >> greg: the avenue secret hiding place be careful where you stick your phone with fine -- if you know what i mean. are you concerned, i'm concerned my only protest would be if i couldn't bowl with you. if i get cma times i could throw you. listen there is some things shouldn't happen and this is 1 of them. even if close on you watch a bowling tournament which at that point you know she's not coming back right or calling. even that there is no flattering stance. no matter how you swing it whether your leg goes in or out everybody behind you feels like an antelope watching a giraffe drink water everyone behind the draft is like i would rather die of starvation then deal with it. nobody wants just deal with that then you have to understand what the average bowler looks like as if you took them and got them naked not even cookie monster can hold his cookies down. as the reason why they are trying is because they are willing to tell the woman the way they wear their pants. if you poke fully dressed them and pay them $25 to be there they still aren't coming it's going to be -- listen. order cheese pizza for the sausage fast. >> greg: i have to take exception, e if you spit blood when you brush, it could be the start of a domino effect. new parodontax active gum repair breath freshener. clinically proven to help reverse the four signs of early gum disease. a new toothpaste from parodontax, the gum experts. here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need... ...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost. my dry eye's made me a burning, stinging, 5-times-a-day,... ...makeup smearing drops user. i want another option that's not another drop. tyrvaya. it's not another drop. it's the first and only nasal spray for dry eye. tyrvaya treats the signs and symptoms of dry eye disease fast by helping your body produce its own real tears. common side effects include sneezing, cough, and throat and nose irritation. relying only on drops? not me. my own real tears are my relief. ask your eye doctor about tyrvaya. ava: i was just feeling sick. and it was the worst day. mom was crying. i was sad. colton: i was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. brett: once we got the first initial hit, it was just straight tears, sickness in your stomach, just don't want to get up out of bed. joe: there's always that saying, well, you've got to look on the bright side of things. tell me what the bright side of childhood cancer is. lakesha: 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