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greg: happy thursday everyone earlier today barack obama joined president biden for a fundraiser at radio city music hall also at the event bill clinton and approximately 20 terrified rock cats. a lot of dresses. according to research cinnamon maybe helpful in curing boldness , and already sent a bond has been besieged by calls from one man, it s true, you didn t know that? today is a fox anchor todd pyro s birthday otherwise known as national caucasian day, researchers have discovered that perm sperm whales can defend, tax from or because by spring diarrhea and their faces, the same reason that i eat burritos before writing the subway. you should see my aim. southwest airlines will begin offering the first redeye overnight flight in history, spirit will also offer redeye flights, just ask for water and they will hit you with tear gas. a math teacher in texas legally changed his name to literally anybody else to get right in votes for president. meanwhile joe biden ....
the country you have pretty big shoes to fill luckily in greg s case they re like a size three so we should be okay. i m actually honored to be filling in for a guy who truly does have it all these days. he has two top tv shows, a best selling book, and if that weren t enough he s off tonight because he just landed a job as peter dink language s stunt double on gachl thrones. association i mean beening when you re hot you re hot. kidding he s starring in a mission impossible spinoff where the mission is to get something off the top shelf. [laughter] jimmy: i always take shots at him because he loves to take shots at my wardrobe and, to be honest, like he s totally right. i m pretty sure the only reason i sold out in vegas this weekend is my jacket made half the people think it was a magic show. you know? like you won t hurt your feelings i look like a perverted magician called david cop a feel, you know? but there really is. there s a bigger trick taking place around ....
[ applause ] [ ] greg: happy thursday everybody! all right! let s get to the newsmac doctors and messages have a successfully transplanted a pig kidney into a patient which is a medical milestone. the patient is a recovering nicely and the donor is expected to return to work any day. [ laughter ] you kind of hoped. to three i know. researchers say loneliness is was and how that than alcoholism, obesity and smoking. you better say doctor keith! [ laughter ] he s very lonely. so lonely they don t even laugh. rumors are sick leading online that french president emmanuel macron s wife is actually a man. we would like to dispel these rumors by going to her for comments. i can assure you i m not a man, sports! greg: glad we settled that. a trio of child bank robbers double the little rascals were arrested in houston, authorities found them by following a trail of snot and cheerios. airline ceos are planning to meet with the disaster prone boeing to discuss production ....
greg: yes everybody, all right. happy tuesday, happy tuesday everybody so environmental activists are trying to make it legal to turn human cadavers the con post is able to turn them and the presidents. in a recent post on x-men they hope donald trump got assassinated although if trump wants his career killed he should hire his a vermont. why your states possible for trump to post a bond deposed by a state judge after else new york if he wants to be released without bond he should try killing somebody. u.s. crime rate is dropping let s look at this graph while i stab you. a florida bartender making headlines for a 30-dollar hurricane shot which has a slap in the face when it just by an 8 dollar shot and get slapped by a fat check. organizers at the olympics say they will distribute condoms to the athletes with perspective the french condition tradition they will continue ban on soap. new york governor will provide i love new york glasses will provide she ....
[ applause ] [ ] greg: happy thursday everybody! all right! let s get to the newsmac doctors and messages have a successfully transplanted a pig kidney into a patient which is a medical milestone. the patient is a recovering nicely and the donor is expected to return to work any day. [ laughter ] you kind of hoped. to three i know. researchers say loneliness is was and how that than alcoholism, obesity and smoking. you better say doctor keith! [ laughter ] he s very lonely. so lonely they don t even laugh. rumors are sick leading online that french president emmanuel macron s wife is actually a man. we would like to dispel these rumors by going to her for comments. i can assure you i m not a man, sports! greg: glad we settled that. a trio of child bank robbers double the little rascals were arrested in houston, authorities found them by following a trail of snot and cheerios. airline ceos are planning to meet with the disaster prone boeing to discuss production ....