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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240714

Mysterious hurricane sharpie. Earlier this week our president incorrectly said that Hurricane Dorian had the state of alabama in its sights, which was not the case. Dorian was not headed toward alabama. And when the media and the Alabama Weather Service pointed that out, our thinskinned skipper was not pleased. He dug in and insisted he was right, it was headed to alabama. He did it over and over again. And just when the story finally went away, he brought it roaring back to life by showing a map he called the original map. Charting the hurricanes path. And you can see the map had clearly been marked with what looked like a black sharpie to include alabama in the storm area. Needily everyone became suspicious that this Al Administration was the work of donald j. Trump. According to a white house official we did the president did indeed alter that map himself with a sharpie. Hes even drawing lies now, okay . Whod have guessed the guy who only signs things in sharpie and ordered special

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Transcripts For KGO ABC7 News 1100PM 20240714

Im elizabeth her in florida. Coming up, why without a landfi landfall on the u. S. , they are still worried. They race to stop the flames from spreading to nearby units. Steph curry showed up to give girls financial and physical help. Abc7 news starts right now. Announcer now from abc7 news live and breaking news. A wildfire near muir etta in the Santa Ana Mountains has reached 1,000 acres. They are calling the tana ha fire that broke out this afternoon, there is no containment. Evacuation are in effect for the la cresta community. Heap l apeople hazards. Well keep you updated. As blaze at a condo. It broke out on gregory lane this evening. Firefighters found flames shooting through the windows when they arrived on scene. There is no word of any injuries. Investigators are working to find out what started that fire. Meantime, new details tonight on the deadly boat fire in southern california. Coast guard officials have now recovered 33 bodies, one person is till missing. We have learne

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240714

In the world who when she blows out her candles doesnt have to make a wish. Shes got that fan going all the time. If youre watching the show tonight, which you most certainly are not, happy birthday. [cheers and applause] it is nice to have something to celebrate. Because Everything Else in the world has gone completely nuts. There is a Catholic School in nashville, tennessee who has made the educated decision to ban harry potter books from the library. The man who runs the school believes the incantations in the book could conjure evil spirits. For real. Its an actual statement from the referendum dan rehill who says the curse and spells used in the book are actual curses and spells which risk conjuring evil spirits into the presence of the person reading the text. This is not someone who lives in a mental institution. This is the lead educateder in a school in the United States of america. Referend reverend rehill says he consulted in rome. And they got rid of the books. We reached o

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240714

People take to the air waves to ask this very important c bieve its alrey ve it . C yo already . I cant believe its august, right . I know. I cant believe its already august 1st. I cant believe its august. I cant believe its already august. Hard to believe it is already august. Hard to believe it already is august. I cant believe but its already august 1st. Can you believe it is august already . We are in the month of you belie that . I cant believe its already august already. I cant believe its august already. I was just saying the same thing to another colleague. Can you believe its already august . Do you believe its already august already . I said it. Yes. Jimmy kimmels going to be all over you right now. I hope so. Jimmy mission accomplished. [cheers and applause] welcome to august, everyone. I dont know about you, but i cant believe its already here. This actually is hard to believe. Astronomers have discovered a new planet on which it might one day be possible for us to live, as

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

And it was fine, i guess but it did kind of feel like when your fun aunt goes home and youre left with your Boring Family again [ laughter ] aww. Aunt marianne lets us finger paint on the wall [ laughter ] Entrepreneur Andrew Yang used his Opening Statement tonight to differentiate himself from President Trump saying, quote, the opposite of donald trump is an asian man who likes math. [ laughter ] which is a great point but i actually think the opposite of trump would be a black guy who is a good president. [ laughter ] there you go [ cheers and applause didnt know where you guys were going to land on that one. [ laughter ] according to a debate coach on cnn, senator Bernie Sanders got a bplus for his performance last night, which he was perfectly happy with the last thing i want is for my grade to be in the top 1 [ laughter ] bplus [ applause ] according to the final numbers, author Marianne Williamson was the most searched for candidate after last nights debate. Which is silly you do

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