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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Said one turkey representative, sir, this is the butterball hotline. [ laughter and applause the white house today attacked the ambassador to ukraine for his testimony in the impeachment inquiry, calling him a radical unelected bureaucrat. First of all, youre calling this guy radical [ laughter ] he looks like he irons his socks. [ laughter ] the most radical thing hes probably ever done is drive a different way to work. [ laughter ] also, you cant call someone a radical bureaucrat. Its like calling someone a punk rock orthodontist. [ laughter ] gop senator john cornyn today said he will not Pay Attention to attempts by House Democrats to impeach President Trump, because he is, quote, doing important things. Okay, but doing important things is definitely what you say when youre not doing important things [ laughter ] dont come in the bathroom. Im doing important things in here [ cheers and applause youll ruin the importance two associates of Rudy Giuliani appeared in court today in con

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Nancy announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, impeacher of the house plus stephen welcomes Scarlett Johansson and a performance by the weeknd featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hi there cheers and applause that is such a good thursday crowd, i wish they could stick around and be the friday crowd. Youre amazing. Never going to happen though. Anyway jon yeah. Stephen welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your shows Stephen Colbert. There is cheers and applause you feel this excitement . Jon i feel it. Stephen you feel the electricity . Its like the room is soaked with gasoline theres imagine income the air here cheers and applause magic stephen hey magic here at the late show. You know why its the merger of cbs and viacom. I know them by their celebrity couple name, the people that pay me. laughter to celebrate the merger, viacomcbs got to ring nasda

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Apparently he just found out g7 doesnt mean you get to play seven rounds of golf [ laughter ] thats right President Trump will no longer hold the upcoming g7 summit at his golf resort in florida yeah, i guess it is a bad idea to commit an Impeachable Offense when youre already being impeached. [ laughter ] that would be like stabbing the bailiff at your murder trial [ laughter and applause House Speaker nancy pelosi today distributed a fact sheet outlining what she feels are President Trumps abuses of power. Even more impressive, getting it down to a sheet. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause politico has published a new article about the Campaign Expenses of the top democratic president ial candidates and found that former Vice President joe biden has spent nearly 4,000 on ice cream since july [ light laughter ] that would explain all the brain freezes. [ laughter and applause senator senator mitt romney admitted last night to having a secret twitter account in addition to h

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Well, dicky from hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight ma, omut don johnson, cma winner maren morris, mean tweets music edition, and music from Zac Brown Band. And now, moving on, jimmy kimmel [cheers and applause] jimmy thank you very much. Im jimmy, im the host of the show. Thanks for watching. Thank you for coming. Very fine. I thank you for joining us on one of the most historic and important dates in the history of the United States. My birthday. Thank you. I dont love my birthday i its not a big thing for me. But i will say this, i got exactly what i wanted this year. Good morning, everyone. This is the first of a series of Public Meetings the house will be holding in an impeachment inquiry. Jimmy thats right, i turn on the television and there it was. The impeachment hearing. We got testimony from bill taylor, the top diplomat for the ukraine. They did not paint a flattering portrait of our president and his boot lickers in the house didnt look too good either, devin nunes op

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests seth meyers, Cobie Smulders musical guest, tones and i and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1158 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy my goodness. Thank you very much, everybody welcome. [ cheers and applause welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Youre here. [ cheers and applause you made it. Im so happy well, guys, it seems like there is so much going on right now. The impeachment hearings are in full swing there is a democratic debate on wednesday. The new Star Wars Show the mandalorian has a baby yoda [ light laughter ] and taco bell wants people to make their chicken tacos take their chicken tacos, stick them in a blender and serve them as a bisque for thanksgiving [ laughter ] but there is so much to go over lets just jump in and cover it all at once. Its time for news smash. Here we go [ cheers and applause jimmy first up, the impeachment hearings are heating up

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