Improvement. We have to enjoy tiktok while we still got it. Because the president wants to get rid of it. No one really knows why. Personally i think its because he tried the im a savage dance and got zero likes. But losing tiktok would be disastrous. Without it, where else would we spend time on the internet . Besides youtube, twitter, facebook, instagram, linkedin and snapchat . Welp, at least i can fall back on my music career. Theres a lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and you get married or whatever its gonna be weird to explain that to your kids one day. Well son, i was tryin
Maybe it would. Maybe it wont. What the hell do you got to lose . Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight home sweet show plus, stephen welcomes conan obrien. And musical guest michael stipe. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen oh, hey i was just pretending i could be at home without a camera. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Happy to be here. Happy. Tuesday, i think . It is tuesday. Good. Thank you, thank you, sir. I dont always know. Im so grateful that im still able to do a show for you guys and for all of you out there who are watching, one assumes. Its possible my producers are lying to me that were broadcasting at all. Sure, stephen, weve put a van on n. It talks to space. Now take a shower and shout into your phone. Whatever. Im grateful for something to do. Now, there is one aspect of the show that i have really been missing and that is my conversations with our friend
Steve from rockefeller center, in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight join jimmy and his guests mike tyson adam devine, musical guest chronixx and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy ah, it sounds good thank you very much. Thank you very much, everybody thank you. Thank you and welcome to the tonight show. Im jimmy fallon lets get to some news here. Well guys, today is july 27th and you know what that means 99 days 99 days 99 days 99 days away from the president ial election. Jimmy thats right we are just 99 days away from election and just 100 days away from President Trump declaring the results invalid. Yep, just 99 days or as one man put it, so much hacking, so little time. [ light laughter ] trump thinks 99 days is plenty of time to get his campaign in shape. Hes like someone looking in the mirror in june going, ive still got time for swim suit season. [ light laughter ] 99 days, thats like an e
That will ruin your month. It turns out that coronavirus might be spread through air conditioning. Experts say ac can spread coronavirus by creating strong air currents that can move the droplets and contribute to increased risk. This is why i stay cool the Old Fashioned way, by getting drunk and falling down a well. Wow, remember 2019 when air conditioners were only killing us by melting polar ice caps and falling out of apartment windows . That was quaint, wasnt it . Remember that . I will say this, if giant windblowing fans are to blame, we may need to quarantine beyonce for another year. She has about 70 horsepower on her at all times. During quarantine, we should all be reading more, especially our kids. But growing up as a gay kid in the suburbs of chicago, i didnt have many books that spoke to me. I mean, Curious George was not curious about the same things i was, and of course, wheres waldo. Who wants to find that guy . Hes got glasses and a passport. That nerd can find himself
Hackett was brought in, he was a board member, previously he had done a great job at steel case the Office Furniture company in michigan and when he came in and he said, look, we are going to transform ford, get it ready for the future for Autonomous Vehicles, for electric vehicles. That hasnt happened ford has been mired in really not being making the move that its needed to make since 2017 they are starting to change that a little bit some of that because of the moves that jim farley has made as coo, he becomes the ceo effective october 1st and the marching orders are pretty clear. Transform this company, get ready for a future with electric vehicles, Autonomous Vehicles at some point, not immediately, but at some point, but, guys, this is the most interesting stat that i can find. If you go back over the last, what, 20 years, 19 years, only one ceo at ford, alan malaly posted a positive gain in ford shares there you see hacketts performance since may of 2017, down 38 , similar to fi