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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Displefer day, before we turn to the serious stories, we like to look at the stories that put the us in coronavirus, in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. First up, thanks to this pandemic, government officials are highly strung. They have to keep people indoors, they have to keep hospitals running, and they have to take all their bribes over venmo, which is really tough, because you have to write in the memo what the money is for. Well, this week in kentucky, the governor was busy trying to stop unemployment scams, and in the process, he made an unlikely discovery. Unfortunately, its going to take a little bit of time on these, because a couple of bad apples can make this challenge that much more difficult. For instance, we had somebody apply for unemployment for tupac shakur here in kentucky. And that person probably thought they were being funny. I didnt know and its my fault that we have a

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

And that person probably thought they were being funny. I didnt know and its my fault that we have a kentuckian who goes by malik, whos name is tupac shakur. Trevor ooooh, yeah, that was that was a tough bon, really. Think about it. On the one hand, on the one hand, the governor should know that its possible for two people to have the same name. But on the other hand, if the person you share a name with is tupac shakur, at least throw in a middle initial so people dont get confused. Why do you think michael b. Jordan has the b . Its so no one is ever disappointed to see him. Oh, its you. Like, i have to assume that if your name is tupac shakur, this probably happens to you every single day of your life. Putting in your starbucks order, ordering a delivery, and good luck calling 911. tupac hello, 911. Please help me, ive just been shot. 911 okay, sir. Ill send help right away. Whats your name, sir . tupac tupac shakur. 911 very funny, sir. Well put out an a. P. B. , for the notorious b.

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Displefer day, before we turn to the serious stories, we like to look at the stories that put the us in coronavirus, in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. First up, thanks to this pandemic, government officials are highly strung. They have to keep people indoors, they have to keep hospitals running, and they have to take all their bribes over venmo, which is really tough, because you have to write in the memo what the money is for. Well, this week in kentucky, the governor was busy trying to stop unemployment scams, and in the process, he made an unlikely discovery. Unfortunately, its going to take a little bit of time on these, because a couple of bad apples can make this challenge that much more difficult. For instance, we had somebody apply for unemployment for tupac shakur here in kentucky. And that person probably thought they were bei

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

I just miss you so much. I missed you too. Really . Yeah. Well, can i kiss you . Yeah. Ok. Maybe thats not the best one. Keep reading. It was. Maybe it wasnt. Oh, thank god. I had a horrible nightmare that i was stuck in america with gabe. Oh [laughter] no, thats not the one i was thinking of. Keep going. I know what it smells like, but i didnt roll in anything. Its from listening to all of gabes bull [bleep]. [laughter] isnt this the perfect romantic getaway, erin . Sitting on a Desert Island in dog costumes . Im gabe, and im a weirdo. [laughs] thats pretty good. Gabes mom. Hmm. Gabes mom . Wait, tall woman, looks like gabe . Yeah, i banged her. Yeah[laughter] go. Trevor hey, everybody. Whats going on . Welcome to another episode of the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah, and today is officially day 44 of us staying inside the hosue to try and kick corona virus ass. Yeah, thats right, corona, i said it. And heres your quarantine tip of the day if youre trying to stay fit, yo

Transcripts For KTVU KTVU Mornings On 2 At 9am 20160616

I was. Yes, i always am. Along with gasia and alex in for mike, i am Sal Castaneda. Welcome. For the third time in less than week, there has been a new chief in charge there is a new chief in charge of the Oakland Police department. Mayor libby schaaf replaced chief wentz to chief fairow. The mayor received information that caused her to lose confidence in fairow. That information was that fairow once had an extramarital affair with a subordinate. The mayor said the background check went too fast. Several Oakland City Council members say its regrettable and a clear sign of failed leadership within city government. New acting police chief Paul Figueroa is looking forward to making positive changes. Obviously, there is some things that need to be addressed within the department. I can tell you the next few days are critical for us. I am solidifying the daytoday operations for the department. Acting chief Paul Figueroa rose through the ranks as starting as a police cadet in 1991. Joining

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