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Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20180207

Mo and goldlink, and the legendary roots crew. Questlove 817 fort worth and eagles steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, it is so good to be home welcome what a welcome home. Welcome, everybody, to the tonight show. This is it, baby [ cheers and applause ] youre here oh, so happy to be here, guys. Heres people are talking about. Of course people are still excited and by people, i mean other people besides the roots. [ light laughter ] everyone are so excited about the Philadelphia Eagles winning their first super bowl [ cheers and applause ] and did you know this . I read that eagles coach Doug Pederson was Coaching High School football just ten years ago. Sounds crazy until you remember that just five years ago, our president was firing clay aiken from a tv show. [ laughter and applause ] and you go, wow. Five years ago. Youre fired. [ light laughter ] but man, the celebration got crazy back in philly. Oh, boy. People knocked over lampposts, overtur

Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20180127

Here i am at my local coffee establishment. Hello id like a cap chino please. Great one cappacino and one giant bag of horse [ bleep ]. But i dont want a bag of horse [ bleep ]. Yeah its kind of a two for one thing. Oh. You want the cap, you also have to pay for the a giant bag of horse [ bleep ]. Jimmy what if i just want the cappucino. You start making demands like that i will shut down this establishment. You will shut down the store you work at. Yeah. Its absurd and scene. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] all right. So thats whats happening. Bottom line, they want to fund chip which they claim they do they could do it immediately, there would be no votes against it but they want to use Childrens Health for leverage. Unfortunate this rouse got more difficult this morning to pull off because President Trump who has weird flashes of common sense tweeted that chip should be a long Term Solution which is 100 correct but is the exact opposite what the white house said yesterday. Now th

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20180207

Joe. Then they brought you g. I. Joe with kung fu grip. Now get ready for hasbros newest g. I. Joe character, cadet bonespurs. Awesome. He loved to charge bravely into battle. Its just that he has this thing with his heel which causes occasional minor foot pain. We must crush the enemy. Right, lets go get the bad guys. You go ahead. I have to ice my shins. Cadet bonespurs it will be the greatest fun you ever had playing soldier, or in his case avoiding playing soldier to date models. The rebel forces are attacking. Help us, cadet bonespurs. I would, but my socks are tight, you know, with the swelling and all. So pick up your g. I. Joe cadet bonespurs today, now with tiny kung fu grip. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, trump dodges mueller. Plus, stephen welcomes wanda sykes Thomas Haden Church and june diane raphael. Plus the soul rebels, sitting in with jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert c

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20180127

I notice theres a guy in the audience named chuck who years ago taught me to powder my balls and i thank him for it. Thanks chuck. Hey were on the brink of a government shut down and congress are trying to hammer out some kind of agreement to keep the country open. Its amazing weve reached a point which north and south koreas have a better relationship than republicans and democrats. Republicans are saying the democrats are shutting the government down even though the republicans are in control of the house, senate and white house. The democrats cant even shut their computers down without paul ryans permission. But the republicans have done something that i think is bad. Theyve lumped chip into their spending bill, thats the Childrens Health Insurance Program that covered 9 million lowincome kids and is yet to be reauthorized its been 100 days since it expired. Its scary for parents the funding should not have ran out it is supported overwhelmingly by republicans and democrats and all

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20180207

Musical guest diplo featuring mo and goldlink, and the legendary roots crew. Questlove 817 fort worth and eagles steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, it is so good to be home welcome what a welcome home. Welcome, everybody, to the tonight show. This is it, baby [ cheers and applause ] youre here oh, so happy to be here, guys. Heres people are talking about. Of course people are still excited and by people, i mean other people besides the roots. [ light laughter ] everyone are so excited about the Philadelphia Eagles winning their first super bowl [ cheers and applause ] and did you know this . I read that eagles coach Doug Pederson was Coaching High School football just ten years ago. Sounds crazy until you remember that just five years ago, our president was firing clay aiken from a tv show. [ laughter and applause ] and you go, wow. Five years ago. Youre fired. [ light laughter ] but man, the celebration got crazy back in philly. Oh, boy. People k

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